It All Adds Up
I love birthdays but hate getting older. “Just one more year too old to be a child genius [on Jeopardy],” I say every May only semi-jokingly. Simon has tried to cure me of this disorder by reminding me that each year I get older is a year I’m not dead, and darn it if he isn’t right. It’s enough to make me shut my trap on the subject…until at least a month or two before my next birthday.
The thing is, I don’t mind being older so much as I mind what my age implies about what type of person I might or should be. I’m thirty-three (and a half), and isn’t that just so…middle-agey an age? People who are thirty-three have mortgages and children and Costco memberships so they can buy bulk orders of batteries and light bulbs and wet wipes. And wrinkle cream. The disconnect is that most days I just don’t feel thirty-three (and a half) AT ALL, and yet…I have these things. Mortgages and children and enough batteries and light bulbs and wet wipes and wrinkle cream (and wrinkles!) to get me through to age forty-three. I am, in many ways, exactly what I’m “supposed” to be at this age. And what in the world do I have to complain about when I’m definitely exactly what I wanted to be at this age?
So. Thirty-three. This is what it looked like when it happened to me: 
It’s slower and saggier than twenty-three, but it’s also fuller and richer and clearer and wiser than twenty-three, and those are the things that count. It’s not middle-age, it’s prime time, baby.
Nothing quite puts it all into perspective for me than when people start talking about Life Lists–that popular ritual of taking formal and public inventory of all the things they want to do before they die. It’s inspiring and amazing and discouraging and morbid and, for me, mostly frustrating because at this point in my life, with two small kids and an underwater house, there isn’t much room for backpacking across Europe or rappelling into a cavern in the rainforest. No room and, frankly, very little desire.
That’s why my Life List isn’t full of things I hope to do but things I have already done. It’s a record, not a prediction. It’s not inspiration but reflection. I graduated college at the top of my class. I fell in forever-love. I bought a crazy house. I made two spectacular boychildren. I (finally) got married and there was a taco truck and a giant tub of Red Vines at the wedding. I’ve also been up the Eiffel Tower, sailed around the Statue of Liberty, knitted a hat, and made a galette from scratch using apples from our backyard tree.
My Life List is big things and small things.
Those are the things that add up to thirty-three. Those are the things that add up to me.
What’s on your Life List? Leave me your answer in the comments below for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card courtesy of Olay.
Rules: No duplicate comments. You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods: a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “”#SweepstakesEntry”"; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post” c) Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry. This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here. This sweepstakes runs from 11/13 to 12/13. Be sure to visit the Olay 60th Anniversary brand page on BlogHer.com, where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!
I haven’t made a life list, but I do want to show my husband what I love about Asia and spend some time seeing Europe through his eyes.
I got into my dream university, I forged amazing relationships with my siblings when we became adults, and I spent ten years living in the excitement of NY.
My life list includes a variety of things – places I want to go, things I want to do for myself and with my family and ways I want to improve my life with experiences (many including food!). I also keep a list of things I’ve done that are list-worthy because if having a child isn’t list-worthy, I don’t know what is
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/ememby/status/268370998754168832
I don’t have a life list…. hopefully I still have plenty of time!
(wow. so much spam!)
a Big Thing on my life list is owning a small vacation home / getaway cabin somewhere.
I turned 33 this year, too, and have had similar epiphanies about where I am vs. where I should be, and honestly, I am so happy right now. Happy we managed to get out of our underwater house before we drowned, happy we found a new house to call our home even if technically it’s not “ours,” happy I have a son who is healthy and intelligent and snuggly, happy we have another little one on the way who so far is healthy and already loved beyond measure, happy I still love (and like!) my husband quite a lot bit, happy I have a job that isn’t too stressful and pays me a decent salary with good benefits, happy we have a handful of wonderful friends in town who come to our house when invited to eat tacos, happy my mom and stepdad are coming to Seattle next week for Thanksgiving, happy we get to drive down to California for Christmas and spend ample time with Roth’s mom who is beating the pants off colon cancer with a smile on her face.
Sure, I’d like to travel more, not live paycheck to paycheck as much as we do, but I don’t feel like there are any real voids in my life. My “life list” consists of more of the same, and more of whatever continues to make us all happy. That list may change in three, five or 10 years, as my kids get older and priorities shift, but for now, my list is simple.
I have a “things I would love to do at some point” list…some are reaches (lots and lots of travel) and some are small things (lots of places/food to eat). It makes me feel hopeful to add to it, something to look forward to in the future, while we spend most weekends at home now that life includes a 2 year old and very little free time. But I also look back on my last 34 (and a half – yay May babies) years and I too feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, kid, husband, mortgage, job, chores, and all. I have wonderful family, awesome friends, and nothing to complain about.
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/livlaugheat/status/268436963453972480
This is my last year in my 20′s and I certainly don’t feel like I am going to be 30 next year! I’ve yet to make a Life List, mostly because I know I’d never be able to get the whole thing completed and that makes me sad. But keeping a list of things I’ve done makes perfect sense. I’ve had two children, I’ve sewn and quilted a quilt, I can make an awesome coffee cake, and canned sour cherry jam from our tree in the back yard.
I don’t have one of these lists. Mostly because I’m not a list maker, but also because it would change pretty regularly. Like you–with a toddler and a newish baby–I don’t have the time or money to do anything right now anyway, and until I’m sleeping more than a couple of hours at a stretch again, I will not have the energy either.
Come to think of it, a full night of sleep is pretty high on my list of desires at the moment.
When it comes to a life goal, though, someday I’m going to learn to knit. Someday when I have a lot more patience than I do now.
I don’t have a life list yet but I definitely would like to travel more.
tweet–https://twitter.com/mami2jcn/status/268539231729758208
Traveling and enjoying life is on my list
https://twitter.com/ElenaIstomina/status/268577354627039233
The item I most recently added to my life list is to digitize all of my photos. I have them sorted and waiting patiently in Ziploc bags for the next step.
Travel more and just enjoy life and not worry so much
family74014 at gmail dot com
tweet: https://twitter.com/akronugurl/status/268758596643336192 .
to be a good mother and maybe travel
My life list changes constantly, but one thing on it has always been to cook a gourmet meal!
To visit six continents! I’ve only done two so far.
Seeing the taj mahal, moving into my first home that was all mine, finally learning to cook!
building our own house out of cob with my hubby and kids
thismomwins@gmail.com
tweeted: https://twitter.com/thismomwins2/status/269923741331505152
thismomwins@gmail.com
To travel with kids to foreign countries, to learn spanish
visiting madagascar!
https://twitter.com/DesMoinesDealin/status/270044109278945282
I do not have a life list, I take each day/year, as they come and plan as I go.
jslbrown_03 at yahoo dot com
https://twitter.com/LuLu_Brown24/status/270299835364671489
jslbrown_03 at yahoo dot com
I’m 34 and just enjoy being a mom for now so no life list yet.
tweeted https://twitter.com/mom22girlz/status/270338319936782337
My life list includes raising my daughter to be a good person, loving my husband, and enjoying life.
A trip to Swiss is currently on my list.
https://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/270390487960154112
My life list includes a trip to Australia. Would really love to visit someday with my family!
tweeted https://twitter.com/DeeGee13/status/270395368607477762
To go to hawaii
I don’t mind shouting out my age–I feel I earned every year and am proud of it!!! I’d love to visit every state in the U.S. Thanks for a chance to win and have a great day!
kmassmanATgmailDOTcom
I would like to complete a lot of travel, cross-country and to Europe, pay off our home, send my kids to college and go back to work to something that I really enjoy.
tweet
https://twitter.com/kellysaver/status/270667544367599616
I have some things I look forward to doing in my life. Here are just a few things I want to do:
1) Take my kids to a baseball game at Fenway Park
2) Renew my vows with Geoff. Just us and our kids, on the beach. Hayley will be my maid of honor, Damien will be Geoff’s best man.
3) Drive across the country with Geoff once the kids are grown
4) Bake cookies with my grandchildren
I don’t really have a life list right now, though if I did I’d include taking my girls on a few new family vacations. I’d like to visit some of the major national parks as a family some day.
I am 54 and still filling my life list, one of them is to take Ball Room Dancing classes.. I’m a klutz with 2 left feet, but would love to give it a whirl.
I’d like to go a few levels up at work, and volunteer more. Thanks for sharing and the giveaway.
songyueyu at gmail
tweet: https://twitter.com/syytta/status/271539936056971264
songyueyu at gmail
I want to graduate college and land a job that is related to my major.
I’d love to travel Europe one day and have kids
pokergrl8 at gmail.com
https://twitter.com/aes529/status/271723263724507138
I am 34 and don’t feel as though I look or feel my age. I do often times find myself thinking I am younger and quickly realize that I am not but having fun makes it easier I guess.
My life lists consists of enjoying everyday, each moment-I was diagnosed with cancer and being told those words makes you want to live in a different way and cherish the days your given!
Thank you for the opportunity(:
I am 51 and would like to go to Paris someday.
a trip to Italy
https://twitter.com/HappyTina0115/status/272752632349732864
I’d like to live an active life in retirement that includes helping others and lots of travel.
tweet https://twitter.com/BBirdie2/status/273040773119897600
There are also big and small things on my life list….but my family is always on top of the list.
Yes, every little thing adds up to my age and I’m proud of it.
amy [at] utry [dot] it
tweeted:
https://twitter.com/uTry_it/status/273911808866279426
amy [at] utry [dot] it
I am with you on the lifelist, it’s the things I have accomplished, not the things I want to to accomplish. And my list gets longer everyday!
Owning a dog! Being pregnant and raising a little person (or 3). Visiting Madagascar. Learning to make a perfect roast chicken.
I really really love this. All of this. I turned thirty this past June (woo!), and the only thing I’ve officially planned for the year upcoming is (running, and hopefully rocking) my first official 50k on Orcas Island in February. I’ve no idea what to expect and it doesn’t much matter, really, because no matter what happens I will be running gorgeous trails alongside (see also: hours behind) my love (and with two other favorite faces), and I plan to have one of the greatest, and undoubtedly most challenging, days of my life.
Which is a mostly long-winded way of saying: Three cheers and celebratory beers to being right where you’re supposed to be, and reveling in your happy here and now. (Also, that picture of you is lovely. Which isn’t surprising, of course, because you are lovely.)
It has always bugged me that I was the only girl growing up who couldn’t do a cartwheel, and to this day, whenever I see someone effortlessly twirl themselves into one, I get jealous. So since I don’t have one, how about I start my Life List with “Learn to do a cartwheel”?
Thanks for the chance to enter. Maybe “Win a contest.” could be on my list, too!
Traveling, helping others, not worrying, saying thank you….A Lot…stopping to embrace and cherish moments as they happen instead of in hind sight…finding style and confidence..watching my teen grow into herself..trying to stay beautiful and “hip” in her eyes as well as my husbands…
One of my big life list items is to anonymously donate something big to someone in need (i.e., a plane ticket home when they couldn’t otherwise afford it, a car, school wardrobe for their children, etc). I have to get to a point where I can afford that first, but would love to be a big-time anonymous donor of something right when someone needs it most.
Stop and smell the roses more and breath deeper.
gmissycat at yahoo dot com
Tweeted
https://twitter.com/gmissycat/status/274298849273724928
gmissycat at yahoo dot com
A list for me would set me up for expectation/failure. I’m living one day at a time!
https://twitter.com/channynn/status/274516914527670272
tweet!
i’d love to try hang gliding
I love your version of a life list- a record rather than ‘to do’- and am presenting an item from that version: became a mother.
I would like to keep my life active, besides my part time job, I have been a volunteer for visiting the elderly who are hospitalized. I would like to have travels later after retirement.
ctong2[at]gmail[dot]com
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/ctong2/status/275538681941594112
ctong2[at]gmail[dot]com
I am 36 and I would love to go on a Caribbean Cruise!!
tweeted
https://twitter.com/bdiane35/status/275788056433414144
tweeted https://twitter.com/kj20082006/status/275842846748205057
tweeted https://twitter.com/kj20082006/status/275842846748205057
tweet–https://twitter.com/WildOrchid985/status/276002356699750400
A trip to Italy is on my life list!
wildorchid985 @ gmail dot com
My life list included engaging with the outer world (travel, road trips, etc) and things to do for my insides (committing to a writing practice, yoga, hiking).
wolverina401 at gmail dot com
Gosh, at 47, there are so many things I still want to do!
1. To still be breathing at 48…
2. To have grandchildren to spoil…
3. To attend the Kentucky Derby and wear a crazy big hat…
4. To sun tan, topless, on the French Riviera…
5. To eat awesome sushi in Tokyo…
6. To visit the White House…
7. To start a successful creative business…
8. To show my kids Kauai…
9. To get away to Fiji with my husband…
Tall list that is much taller than this!
I want to go dogsledding!
“Move to Maine” is on my life list. We’re working on it — hopefully next year!!!! It will be hard to leave behind CA weather, but lovely lovely lovely to be closer to family again and have SNOW!
I want to travel with my kids internationally, in the hope that they’ll be as inspired and influenced by seeing the world as I have been.
I want to go ice skating. And it scares me to the point of tears – irrational fear of having my fingers sliced off when I fall down. I keep imagining my bloody fingerbits scooting along the ice without me. But still, I want to skate on the ice.
I’d love to be able to live overseas with the kids for a few years. I’m 49 already, so I’m not sure that will ever happen.
The number one on my life list to get married. Still waiting…
I want to go back to school and visit Australia.
https://twitter.com/jen_r_horn/status/277128295634583554
i want to visit Ireland
https://twitter.com/thomasmurphy40/status/277559980675182592
trekking to Machu Picchu is on my list!
tweeted
https://twitter.com/leedhowell/status/277605146245074944
My life life is growing shorter. I still want to fo trekking in the Inca ruins
I would love to take a cruise on a ship someday.
marybug2@yahoo.com
I also tweeted here:
https://twitter.com/marybug2/status/278292598358175745
At 57, I still look young (thank you, Oil of Olay) and feel young (thank you, daily, long walks through the park). Since I am a teacher, I have decided to spend my summers learning something new. What’s on the list for 2013 you ask? Sailing. I have loved sailing since my best friend’s family took me out on their sailboat in July of 1969, but have only ever traveled as a passenger, never learning the mechanics, so this summer’s goal is to become a beginner sailor. (I don’t care if the other students are teenagers!)
As for 2014, I’m already stuck between taking a French class designed for people who loved the beauty of the language in high school, but never studied it in college (and haven’t spoken it again in 40 years, give or take the ocassional “merci beaucoup”), OR taking a professional course in chocolate making, chocolate being my favorite “food group!”
Hmmmmmmm. Maybe I’ll take a chocolatier class in France?!
I have a life list and try to review it at least once a year. Some things still on there: take a kick boxing class, try paella in New Orleans, and host a wine / cheese tasting party
I AM A VERY PROUD 64 YEAR OLD WOMAN. I LOVE LIFE AND HAVE USED OIL OF OLAY FOR SEVERAL YEARS WITH MUCH SUCCESS. I HAVE HAD M.S. SINCE 1976. I HAVE BEEN DOING REALLY WELL UP UNTIL THIS YEAR, WHICH HAS BEEN A LITTLE ROUGH. I AM NOT GIVING IN TO THE M.S. THOUGH. GOD HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT HE HAS IN STORE FOR ME.
I let everyone know I’m 64 and I swim 3 times a week. I want to go to New Zealand.
Thanks for the contest.
blogged:
http://slehan.blogspot.com/2012/12/win-100-visa-from-olay-blogher.html
I’ve made a lot of really poor decisions in my life but there are some great accomplishments too. I’ve raised 5 children, have 13 grandchildren and 16 great grandchildren. I’ve lived in Central America, visited Europe and
Africa and still want to travel more.
I want to add much, much more to my list but unless some miracle occurs I’m going to be too busy just working to do all the extras.
My life list includes being a proud mother of 4 and a small business owner. My dream to add to my lifelist is a trip to Scotland to visit my heritage.
lisalmg25 at gmail dot com
I Tweeted: https://twitter.com/lisalmg/status/279053813426561024
lisalmg25 at gmail dot com
I gotta have this baby of mine! It has been on my “to-do” list for the past 10 years, when I lost my first & only pregnancy…. I’ll be “shouting” more than my age if I can complete this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
2nd entry tweet! https://twitter.com/kytah00/status/279072810859626496
I only have one main life wish. Since I am disabled now ( bad back and neck) and this will eventually put me in a wheelchair ; I would like to take my family on a vacation to travel in a car and sightsee something my youngest son has never been able to do with me since I have become to live in chronic pain. I would like to take them to see ocean for first time and ride a rollercoaster again ! Thanks for letting me wish big!
Visiting Australia, salmon fishing in Alaska, and running a full marathon are all on my list!
coriwestphal at msn dot com
Tweet: http://twitter.com/coriwestphal/statuses/279083539432103936
coriwestphal at msn dot com
Tweet – https://twitter.com/willitara/status/279151897204633600
The number one thing on my life list it to see Hawaii with my hubby! Neither of us has ever been and have both wanted to go our whole lives!
I tweeted here: https://twitter.com/MsTofuFairy/status/279254106542047232
Off the top of my head my life list includes some happy things that require money like visting the Redwood Forests and Southern India, and meeting Ellen DeGeneres. More seriously, to accept myself