July/December Romance
I may have mentioned once or twice that having a baby in December was not part of The Plan. It was not penciled into my two-year calendar, it was not on my Life List, it was not something about which I thought, “Hey, you know what would make for some wacky good times…?” What I’m saying is OMG DO NOT HAVE SEX IN MARCH LEST YE BE DOOOOOOMED.
That said, I found being pregnant from March through December so much easier than being pregnant from October to July. And I say this knowing that (a) I’m probably more likely to characterize as worse those afflictions from which I’m currently suffering rather than those I endured four years prior, and (b) I’m not even DONE with this one yet. (Six more weeeeeeeks!)
I hit 34 weeks on Wednesday (who’s counting? I think you know), and I’m slow and achy and cranky and tired, and I swear last time I didn’t have even a quarter of the ligament pain, sciatic pain, and pain from a ninja fetus roundhousing my bellybutton every time I sit still, which is often, because the moment I try to exert myself I sing the body electric to the tune of “Sit the Fuck Down.” (There is not really a song called “Sit the Fuck Down,” although there should be. I imagine it would go over well in the club scene, don’t you?) Of course, then when I sit, Fox Lorax karate chops me in the netherbits just to make sure I know he’s still there, and maybe I pee myself a little, and gee, isn’t this all so MAGICAL? (It is, I know, but I would prefer the magic were a little less forceful in some areas of my person is all.)
Part of the physical toll, I’m sure, is that when I was pregnant with Wombat, I didn’t live with anyone who asked me at least once a day to perform some impossible physical feat, for instance, the circus trick known as “Sit on the Floor and Play with Me,” or the bit of dark sorcery known as “Now Get Back Up.” No, I’m not tired because I’m “running after a toddler all day,” but yes, having another kid makes pregnancy harder, even when said other kid has from a young age been trained to bring me my slippers in the morning like an accomplished hind-leg-walking spaniel.
But that said, there are many things to love about a summer pregnancy:
Flowy dresses instead of pants!
Flip-flops instead of shoes and boots that inhumanely require lacing and buckling and zipping!
I don’t have to suck anything in at the swimming pool!
The clothes are cuter!
And yet…
Shaving is hard.
Painting my toenails is hard.
Not having an excuse to hole up in front of a fire–the alternative being to “go out” and “do something” “fun” in the “nice weather”–is sometimes a drag.
Winter maternity clothes are giant and fuzzy and comfy and contain very little spandex that shows off all the other places you’ve gained weight besides your belly. (My legs are like twin trunks of mighty Ponderosa pine, which, did you know, smell like butterscotch cookies at the right time of year?) (The pines, not my legs.)
Here is where I obnoxiously post some photos of myself not only to illustrate the pineyness of my lower half but to get some extra mileage out of the fact that I have some really adorable maternity clothes yet almost no opportunity to show them off.
Okay, this isn’t actually maternity (TJ Maxx!), but I don’t know if I’d dare wear something so clingy if I didn’t want to show off my bulging belly.
Thanks, Ali, for hosting brunch so I could get fancy! Wombat also took advantage of the occasion, you can see.
This sounds horrible, but if there’s anything about this pregnancy I’m getting prematurely nostalgic about, it’s that. I love this baby, and I fully appreciate the honor of being able to carry my own child, but lordy, I’m getting to the point now that the challenge of a newborn seems like a vacation compared to the daily grind of the third trimester, and also WAAAAAAH, I’ll never be able to wear my cute green maternity halter dress again!
Oh, and speaking of vacations that are probably not going to feel much like vacations, guess what we’re doing this weekend? We’re going camping. CAMPING. I…I know. I KNOW. At least if a bear comes looking for tasty morsels, we’ll be in pine country and I’ll just blend into the surroundings provided I don’t wear something that features a giant neon bow.
Um, if I looked that good pregnant, it would get so Michelle Duggar up in here so fast it’s not even funny.
“I didn’t live with anyone who asked me at least once a day to perform some impossible physical feat, for instance, the circus trick known as “Sit on the Floor and Play with Me,” or the bit of dark sorcery known as “Now Get Back Up.”
I definitely laughed out loud at that.
Ok somehow my comment meant for this post showed up on a different one…anyway, you look FANTASTIC!!! One of the hottest prego women I’ve ever seen. You are very blessed. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but, is your child’s name really Wombat?
I love that blue dress! You’re an adorable pregnant lady
The 2nd pregnancy was way harder for me too. I figured it was because I was older and taking care of the first kiddo.
You are one smokin’ hot pregnant lady!
You look fab, and I love the proudly-bump-displaying dress. I’m very happy that I got to be pregnant in this era rather than those decades (centuries?) when ladies were expected to wear tents and mumuus and hide their bumps by looking enormous all over.
Also, if you feel like trying for optimum pregnancy timing some other time, (hah! you say) I have to mention that August to April worked very nicely, I thought.
For some reason Blogger says it can’t let me follow you so I’m not getting your new posts in my Reading List thingy. If you have any insight at all, or it’s just something easy you can tweak, I’d love it.
How absolutely freakin’ cute are you with your svelte legs and arms and little (for 34 weeks? yes, without a doubt) baby bump.
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