McJobless
So, in case you didn't read it elsewhere, Simon no longer has a job.
I'm not panicking (yet) but mostly just feeling sad (for Simon, for the company, for the dissolution of what had been a happy workplace family), and so in the comfort of NOT panicking (we do, thank goodness, have a modicum of savings, and a recently actualized capacity for inhuman amounts of freelance work), my overwhelming emotion is this:
It's not FAAAAAIR.
All those late nights and stolen weekends I've spent burning the midnight oil, I've been tempering my insanity with the promise of a new pair of shoes, a trip to NYC, and a financial boost that will enable me to even contemplate planning something that resembles a wedding I can get excited about. But now it's going to be the money that gets us through--hopefully--however many weeks (oh please let it only be weeks) it takes for Simon to find a new job, which will probably also involve us finding childcare, which, HELLO FRESH HELL OF ANXIETY.
Still, this is a new situation, and I'm not freaking out. (If we're in this situation three or four months from now, however, watch how very much I will freak out, and in grand style, with buggy eyes and standup hair and everything.) If truth be told, I'm actually looking forward to his mandatory time off, since it will give us a chance to catch up on household projects (hey! look! it's the pile of mulch that's been blocking our driveway since December 2008!), and maybe even allow us to occasionally grab life by the guts and squeeze, the best albeit violent way to make up for all the merely-existing I've been doing since January.
Yesterday, for instance, was Simon's first jobless day, and while I worked, he managed to not only watch the baby but cook dinner and record a song and clean the moldy windowsills in the dining room, a project that has been looming for months and months but which I could never get to because I couldn't figure out how to do it while supervising Wombat at the same time. Simon's solution was to give the kid a paper towel and show him how to scrub while saying "doo doo doooo" (that's toddlerspeak for "brazzle dazzle," I think?) and whaddya know, it worked. Breastlessness aside, Simon is SO the better mom.
Anyway, there's no one to blame for this unfortunate turn of events, and although it sucks to have to weigh family time against cold hard cash--I find that comparing financial security to emotional well-being is like comparing apples and oranges, or maybe even apples to photographs of apples, one of which you can't eat no matter how cruelly those megapixels approximate reality, enough to make my mouth water, actually--and so I guess this is one of those times we're supposed to just sack up and do what's necessary--not what's comfortable or even what's tolerable but simply what is best. I'm still going to whine like a brat about it, though. Just a little. I really wanted some new shoes.
It so totally beyond sucks, so you should just whine about the lack of new shoes. And I'll cross my fingers -- and you cross your un-new-shoe-clad toes -- that he finds something great really soon.
Oh my god, I'm SO sorry. That happened to us this past fall, and it was awful. Definitely what got us through was that "keep your head down and hang on" mentality, I think probably learned from our Depression-era grandparents. Whining is absolutely ok though, in fact I recommend it mightily. Hope employment finds him again soon.
OH. "Brazzle dazzle"? Have you been watching Pete's Dragon TOO? What a strange, strange film. I just showed my kids it the other day and spent most of it mumbling WTF?? under my breath.
I am completely humiliated by how long (years) I've been out of work, but can tell you for SURE that the shoes will be there later, when you're better able to afford them. There will be other shoes, and other sales. Yes, some restaurants may close while you're not going out to eat, but new restaurants will open. It sucks. It absolutely does. Have Simon apply for unemployment if he hasn't already.
Yeah, we've been on unemployment for something like 6 months now. (my husband, not me) It's exactly enough to pay the mortgage and about half of what he was making. Thank God for freelance. Here's hoping something comes along soon so you can still have your NYC bloghermoon.
I love having readers who say "It's your blog and you can whine if you want to," instead of "OMG UR A SELFISH BICH SUM PEEPL DONT HAVE A HOME."
SH--I watched "Pete's Dragon" a million times when I was little and only recently did I watch it and realize what a trip it is. How did they allow Mickey Rooney to get THAT DRUNK in a children's film?!
GreenYo and Carissa--He's not eligible for unemployment since he just lost his contract, not his position with the company he contracts for. So...no money coming in, but hopefully he won't lose his (and Wombat's) health insurance. But yes, thank Jeebus for freelancing.
You already know I'm bummed on your behalf, but I need to say it anyway.
And to say that the visual of them cleaning together made me all heart-melty.
I am so, so sorry. My husband got laid off last fall, completely out of the blue (is there any other way, right?) and suddenly we were down to just my salary. A graduate student salary. We had savings to get us through (he's since found a new job), but it was scary nonetheless. I wish you all the best as you navigate this bump in the road.
I know it's totally tacky to talk about money, and worse to talk in specifics, but let's say that if I WERE to freak out, it would be about this: supporting my family on a salary that (full-time) is $400 less than our monthly mortgages. If S lost his health insurance and I had to cover it for him and Wombat, that would be an extra $700-$900/month we wouldn't have. But! Not freaking out! Positivity! Happy thoughts! Care Bear Stare! Spirit fingers!
Big, big hugs. I'm so sorry and we're here for all the venting and fretting you need to do.
I've been the sole breadwinner in our family unit since May. We made a decision that he would stay home and be the breastless mom for awhile. It has its advantages, no doubt, but it's also got us off balance and I miss the balance. Next month, his job search goes into full swing.
I'd wish you guys luck but I'm hoarding it all for myself. Oh, what the hell - GOOD LUCK!! (I can always make more. I'm a luck-making machine here...)
Oh, gosh, that sucks out loud and I'm so sorry. I wish Simon all the best in finding a new position super-soon -- I bet you'll be in brand-spankin' new shoes in no time.
(And of COURSE feel free to vent/panic/whine here all you want, for goodness sake. It's your space and we're here for you.)
We are actually in exactly same situation....my husband (really, the largest breadwinner in our house) got laid off effective last Friday. While we will also be ok for "awhile" (severance, etc...) we will not be ok indefinitely.
We're living in Canada, so thankfully healthcare is free BUT my husband is diabetic (his supplies are not). My salary cannot pay for our mortgage and childcare...at some point, tough decisions will be made.
But...for now...I am enjoying my stay-at-home bitch...um...I mean husband. He is a better cook, a better launderer and all in all a kinda neat guy.
Sending you (and Simon) lots of good luck, if you could send some back, I'd love ya forever.
Oh no! I am so sorry. This actually just happened to me 2 weeks ago. I am single and childless - so less responsibilities, but no other income to pay the mortgage. SCARY. You go on an vent all you want! This just sucks!
ugh. fewer, not less. maybe that's why I got the axe...
Ugh, that sucks. Very very stressful.
For some reason your loss of rewards reminds me of all those weight loss challenges where they tell you to buy yourself all kinds of fancy stuff every time you lose a certain amount of weight - I always think, ok, fine, but how does losing 20 pounds mean I'm all of a sudden going to have $200 dollars for a pair of new boots?
Maybe you should think of something you can buy when Simon gets a new job - Erik is a CA state employee and is furloughed, and the ruling that he is owed back pay (even though there is now a stay) is giving me heart palpitations. I'm sure the back pay will never actually happen, but I still can't stop picturing myself rolling around Demi Moore style (although fully clothed) in a giant pile of cash. Is that weird? Probably. Oh well!
Dude, when you worked as hard as you did it's TOTALLY not fair that you don't get a new pair of shoes. Perfectly sensible reaction.
My husband and I both lost our jobs in quick succession last year (two kids under 3, mortgage, the whole thing), and this is going to sound like total BS, but it was the best thing to ever happen to us. A year later we each have better, more interesting work. But it completely sucked while it happened and I went through every emotion daily: fear, anger, jealousy of people with jobs, stoic determination.
You guys will figure it out.
Hilary--I have a feeling that's what's going to happen to us too, at least on the money front. Simon was working PT at that contract (his only contract), and although he was always looking for a second contract, most places only offered full-time positions, and he never could bring himself to quit the PT place because it was such a great atmosphere.
So, now that he's looking in earnest for FT work, this can only be a good thing as far as money is concerned. It's the other stuff--less Daddytime for Wombat, a giant chunk of income going to daycare--that will be the real compromises.
I'm sorry . . . I wanted you to have new shoes too. If that's not going to happen, then I'm glad you've at least got your clean windowsills.
Man, well that just blows, huh? I really hope it works out for the best for y'all, and QUICKLY. I'm really sorry-- and I would be totally bummed about the shoes, too.
Good luck to either or both of you for new jobs-I'm hoping things get resolved quickly. I'm leaving my job in a few weeks-it's a little different because it's a planned-for break that precedes going back to school. But the insurance issue is making me hand-flappy (not to mention paying out for insurance even after a 150K bill for my upcoming education) and I don't even have a kid and a house to boot.
Boo. I love the cleaning story, though. And truly, the potential there is limitless. Next... the toilet ;)
Just kiddin'
"It's a razzle dazzle day....." you know it? you must.
Dude, this is why we need serious help with the health care reform. I know, not the place for politics, but stories like this are just all over my life right now, and it breaks my heart that "mortgage" and "baby goes to the doctor" are all of a sudden in the same category. I want all the babies to go to the doctor when they're sick. Every single one, regardless of their parents' financial situations. I know, not the place for politics.
On the bright side, we've learned some cost-cutting measures in our year of unemployment that we unexpectedly love (cloth diapers, home-made bread, hulu.com). On the less bright side we've learned some cost-cutting measures that we hate (no boxed cereal or pre-packaged food of any kind. Sigh.).
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?