Stupid Is
One reason I know I'll never make it as a comedian (I mean aside from the fact that I'm not funny) is because I have a hard time making fun of things. Sure, I can point and laugh at someone doing something stupid, just like the rest of the world can, but what prevents me from turning that into a lucrative career is that as soon as the laugh passes my lips, and sometimes even the moment the snide comment forms in my head, I get all sensitive and forgiving and "poor thing" and "it's probably not her fault" and "but it's the thought that counts!" at which point it's impossible to make fun of anything without feeling like a total dick.
THAT SAID, I've come across some mighty stupid stuff lately, and I just have to get it out of my system, despite the fact that even as I'm writing this my bleeding-heart sympathies are desperately seeking excuses for products that, I'm sure you'll agree, should not be excused.
Example:
Soft Shoes
Um...I think these are called "socks."
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Example:
Wearable Blanket
Okay, I get it! It's like a blanket, but with arm holes and separated legs. Why, that's genius, sirs! Especially since it looks just like regular old pajamas! The babies will never catch on!
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Wait...Did someone say "wearable blanket"?
No. Just no. Not with the glasses or the book, not for the low, low price of $14.95, and not even if I get a second one free. NO.
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Mmmmmmm. I like kidslaw almost as much as I like coleslaw.
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HD High Definition countertops
I know HD is the new Xtreme, but you don't get to just add those letters to whatever you want, I don't care how clear and lifelike your laminate looks.
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Anyone else watch America's Next Top Model? Anyone else laugh every time you hear a voiceover call CoverGirl's new LashBlast mascara "the most successful mascara launch in recent history"? Because I'd like to see some statistics on that. What other mascara launches were in the running for top prize that year? And how does LashBlast stack up against successful mascara launches in non-recent history? I'd just like to see some sales charts and focus studies is all.
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Proof that two wrongs really don't make a right.
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Now that that's out of my system, it's time to go flog myself in repentance, which, I know, sounds like it should be AWESOME but isn't really. In the meantime, I'm doing double duty over at Work It, Mom today, so check it out, eh? I promise I'll be nice.
OMG after my cousin got laid off from Avon & my unlimited supply of free makeup (including mascara) was cut short, I had to find a new mascara. So off to Target I trotted, where I finally decided on that very same launch-tastic mascara. WORST. MASCARA. EVER. there are hardley any "bristles" to even catch onto your eye lashes. I actually had to eek out what I could from my last "empty" Avon mascara until I could get out to buy a new one!
Hee. High definition counters. Unfortunately my kitchen is incompatible.
It's a BetaMax.
I was looking at the dog photo and I kept thinking, "There is something off about this, other than the holding-a-book-wearing-a-snuggie part." I couldn't place it for a good 20 seconds. And then, oh yes, dogs don't usually wear glasses, THAT WOULD BE IT.
Funny. I just got that countertop installed. Still not sure about the HD. Isn't that for televisions?
I would say that the "wearable blanket" thing is intended to get around that weird law that says children's sleepware has to be not flammable (which is so strange--are pjs going to keep your child from burning in a fire? Or with pjs on is it OK to put out cigarettes on your kid?), but its made of fleece, so I think that theory's out.
I'm sorry; I couldn't finish reading this entry because I'm running late for a mascara launch.
um, LashBlast mascara is the best. Ever.