Addicted to You
You know, I think I figured out what the problem is: Simon and I like each other too much. At the end of the day, when the baby's asleep and we have two or three glorious hours all to ourselves, what do we ever do but waste it on The Daily Show or A Very Special Jon and Kate Plus Eight or yet another supersized episode of So You Think You Can Dance (two hours, folks? every week? really?) because plunking down in front of a screen seems to be the only easiest thing we can do together at the end of another endless day without waking up the baby.
(If you think I'm hinting at sex, let me clarify that I'm talking about another kind of sweating and panting: working out. We figured the only way either of us was ever going to work out consistently was with a buddy, and thus a most excellent exercise plan was born. Once upon a time not so very long ago, we shredded together two whole times in one week! We even took the introductory fitness test for P90X! (We both passed, but I think I pulled a muscle laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of even having this program in our house because, hello, I've been finding creative ways to avoid prolonged cardio since my ancient junior high gym teacher Ms. Adams proposed I run the mile along with the rest of the class--as if!--and now Simon thinks I'm going to sign up for this on purpose? 'Nilla, please.) Anyway, our house is as small as our wheezing is loud as our baby is easily woken, so in the battle of exercising vs. sitting on the couch, it's sitting on the couch FTW! *hangs head in shame*)
Of course, all day long I dream about what I wouldn't do if the baby would just. take. a goddamn. nap. But inevitably, when 9:30 rolls around, I'm suddenly uninspired to tackle anything more advanced than seeing how many salted, I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Buttered popcorn kernels I can fit in my mouth at once. For all the complaining I do about not having enough time for chores and hygiene (not to mention time for anything I actually want to do, not that flossing isn't a barrel of chocolate-covered monkeys), you might expect that the minute Wombat passed out I'd steal away under cover of night, up to the attic to make poignant video slideshows or down to the basement to organize our canned goods (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures) or even just take a few minutes to close my eyes and breathe and maybe pat one of the neglected cats on his or her forlorn little noggin. (Who am I kidding? All I really want to do is BLOG. (Loser!)) Even Simon has projects and chores he's been daydreaming about since Wombat was born, but unfortunately his pasttimes are all--how to put it?--freaking LOUD (woodworking with powertools and songwriting through amplifiers) and therefore outlawed by city ordinance after 9 p.m., but still, the problem remains that even on the rare occasion we have the energy to devote to one of our extracurricular passions, we only ever want to do things together (I know; barf), which means no blogging, no organizing canned goods, and no songwriting, even acoustic.
But still, there must be more to adult-life-after-baby than evenings devoted to studied critiques of Cat Deely's wardrobe and Jon Gosselin's earrings.
I suppose we could play cards, gaze into each others' eyes, make a contest out of how many popcorn kernels we can fit into our respective mouths. Beyond that, I'm stumped. The only other option is to--gasp!--spend some time apart pursuing our separate interests, but before we resort to anything crazy, tell me: What do you do with your A#1 main squeeze at the end of the day? How do you spend evenings at home when you're not out together making waves at society's grandest soirees or huddled in separate corners of the house updating your pwecious blogs and using Facebook to spy on kids you met in your junior high gym class? Come on, Internets! Give me hope that we're not all irredeemably addicted to the teevee!
We sit at our respective desks, facing each other and doing our own things. Me mostly sewing and he mostly computing and we chitchat while doing so. I love that kind of fluid hanging out, we get our stuff done, but in the company of each other. And we too watch the telly or a movie every night before we go to sleep, I love it! The value of relaxing and regrouping should never be underestimated.
My copy of P90X is just sitting on top of my DVD player taunting me. It's a love/hate relationship.
So far, the most adventurous we've become (with a sleeping four month old) is go outside and sit on the deck, taking with us, of course, the monitor. Sam plays his guitar (acoustic!) and I usually read/drink wine. However, on a regularly basis there is quite a lot of TV watching going on as well and we're constantly shushing one another's loud movements. Ie: Don't DARE sneeze after 8pm!
17 days ago we watched Mad Men, ate ice cream, talked about what had happened that day, qouted interesting things from the papers. These days one of us is in the bedroom trying to get some sleep before the night shift while the other is in the living room with a tearful baby girl so unbelievably tired and so not wanting to sleep. I can't wait to get back to TV nights and not spending my nights praying that her being awake at night is just a phase (a short one, please).
We cook dinner, then flop on the couch and watch So You Think You Can Dance or 30 Rock on DVD or perhaps (THE SHAME) The Bachelorette. When nothing's on TV, we put on some music and read, interjecting conversation from time to time.
Work and life are tiring. We spend quality time together on the weekend, going for long walks in the park and exploring the city and seeing friends; weeknights are for mind-numbing television. And we're watching it *together* and making snide comments *together* so it's fun. It IS. I don't care if, to an outside observer, watching TV seems lame; it's what we have the energy to do, and we like it. And we don't even HAVE a baby.
We totally watch TV. And talk about how we really should get to bed. And then I try to remember all the little things I wanted to tell him that I've stored up during the day (I usually don't remember until the next day when we're apart again, BOOO). It's tough to feel connected sometimes, but I've realized that the connection happens in different ways now - like when we play with Sadie or take a walk with her. I'm looking forward to a baby-less date night sometime soon, but will have to first get over my freakshow fear of leaving her with someone who isn't her father.
Also, I have to share that I have a friend who tried P90X, and he said that more than once he thought he would shit himself during the workout. Good times.
I totally get what you mean.
I feel the same way about time with my honey at the end of the day. We sit on the couch with music on with our respective laptops. Not much better than the tv...but oh well.
At least we enjoy being together.
It's pretty much tv for us, too. I used to crochet while watching, but now with my 3 month old, that seems too strenuous.
It's TV/movies and computers (him on the big fancy one, me on his old laptop) lately on weeknights. I actually wish we could tear ourselves away from our internet addictions. Maybe we'll institute a one-hour-only policy or something. I haven't felt much like knitting lately (always happens in the summer) and when he's on the computer he's actually doing productive (portfolio-building) things. At least we're in the same room together, occasionally interacting in some fashion (read: I go over to where he's sitting and lift up my shirt and shimmy a bit. That gets his attention).
When we didn't have internet, we played games more often. I'd like to get back to doing that some.
If it's October - April, we hang out in bed and watch a hockey game. If it's April - October, we hang out in bed and he plays video games while I play on my laptop and complain about not having the tv to watch high quality programming like The First 48. We're, uh, pretty lame.
It depends on the day. My sweetie is in a band, as are quite a few of our friends, so any given night could be a show night. I don't always go but I often do. Of course, my kids are older and can be left *gasp* without a babysitter!! Life gets really good again when you don't have to pay someone to watch the kids. But we spend a fair amount of time watching the teevee together, or reading together (separate books). Or we'll do other things like bake (me) or practice (him).
I remember when the first born was a baby and we lived in a teeny tiny absolutely microscopic apartment, there wasn't a lot of anything BUT tv watching/reading going on after he (finally) went to sleep. Don't think of this as permanent. You're in a state of flux for the next few years. I say appreciate it while you can. Soon enough one of you will be shuttling Wombat off to extra-curricular activities while the other makes dinner. And then there will be homework and making sure that project is done, and making cupcakes for the next school day, and doing emergency laundry, and packing up of backpacks, and all the stuff that goes along with school-aged kids.
It doesn't get easier as they get older, it gets different.
I usually blog and Matthew goes in the shop. Then, we sit on the couch and cuddle while watching TV.
We're so exciting, I know.
My cat and I watch TV together and talk about striving for work-life balance and maybe increasing his rations beyond half a can of wet food a day. Also, he's been pushing me towards another kitten, but I really don't feel litterbox ready for it. What about my identity and career? The Feds don't give kitternity leave, either. I know there's no right time to adopt another cat into your heart but I'd prefer to wait until we increased the square footage of our hovel and/or conquered a small island nation in the South Pacific.
Oh well, I don't mean to dump my emotional devastation and troubled owner-cat relationship all over your blog comments!
We do exactly the same thing. I *wish* he would go jogging with me, but he rarely does. It's usually SYTYCD or Biggest Loser (oh the irony) instead.
And umm The EARRINGS?? dubya tee eff Jon?
I should probably mention that we've made a point of attempting to go throw a frisbee around in the park since it's light so late but that the weather the past few weeks has thwarted us, as we've had a wet thunderstorm pretty much every evening for nearly a month.
We just watch TV, because after being apart all day we just want to hang out together. Though instead of critiquing Cat Deely's wardrobe we usually make fun of her accent ("Tabither and Napoleon").
I can't give you hope that other people aren't addicted to TV. We love TV, especially trashy TV and have something to watch just about every night. I think we watch trashier TV than you though if it makes you feel better; current favorite is Daisy of Love. I think I'd die without VH1.
Tabither! Hee!
I think we've now established that if aliens came to earth to conquer humankind, the best way to get to us is through the television. We're all doooooomed!
Ooh, love this post!
I have to tell you, it gets worse after the 2nd kid. With our first, our nights sounded just like yours. Now with our 2nd dude, we MAYBE make it through half of the Daily Show before we are both konked out on the couch. But every so often, when we are feeling frisky, we do have Wine Night, which is half a bottle of wine, a WHOLE Daily Show...and then we konk out.
But it's one of my favorite parts of the day, though, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even a set of rock hard abs.
We've got a toddler and a preschooler, so sitting on the couch reading The New Yorker and New York magazine (even though we live in San Diego) is popular. Watching the Soup on Friday night is pretty much the highlight of the week. We are now facing the fact that in order to surf together we are going to have to pay a babysitter, which seems wrong.
Uh. Our son is 8 months old, and my husband and I are currently sitting side by side on the couch, surfing teh interwebs. It's not TV, but it's basically the same idea, no? I show him a funny LOLcat, he shows me a funny tweet...three hours pass and it's time to go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. BUT, we have a great time together; we talk incessantly and eat dinner together after the baby is asleep, and tomorrow my parents are babysitting so I will wear real clothes and we will go out to dinner like real people. Yay!
My hairer half is in Chicago until August. Before he left we laid in bed and caught up on shows online after the baby passed out. Now I spend way too much time internetting and then watch my DVR'd soap before I go to sleep. I prefer him to be here with me but really, I enjoy both immensely. Especially not having the ridicule of watching my "stories". It's only one show goddammit and it's so freaking good!
Well, since I've enrolled myself to summer class I have been focused on papers while Ryan just watch documentaries on the universe and rereading JRR Tolkien's books. But prior to my enrollment to my summer course, we would meet up at the gym, come home from the gym, make dinner and usually play World of Warcraft and stare at the internet watching episodes of tv shows on hulu or catching up on celebrity gossips. We don't have a baby but we do have attention seeking animals (2 cats and a Yorkie)
geez, reading my posts makes me totally sound like a geek! :-)
We are in the same boat and we don't even have kids! We spend our whole days apart; We work, go to different gyms after work (his job offers him a big fancy work out facility) and then come home and usually cook dinner and sit in front of the tv (and seriously, what is up with Jon's earrings?!) or I study while he goofs around online. And honestly, I can't even imagine doing anything apart from one another for those hours before bed.
We are in the same boat and we don't even have kids! We spend our whole days apart; We work, go to different gyms after work (his job offers him a big fancy work out facility) and then come home and usually cook dinner and sit in front of the tv (and seriously, what is up with Jon's earrings?!) or I study while he goofs around online. And honestly, I can't even imagine doing anything apart from one another for those hours before bed.
Oh, goodness. So sad to say that it's TV for us as well, and we don't even have a baby as an excuse. We have plenty of other things that we like to do together as well, but at the end of day (literally) we end up watching the DVR until we're sleepy.
between gabe's work and hockey schedules, there are only few nights that we DO get to spend together and those night are spent exactly how you describe...sitting in front of the tv, plopped down right beside each other. (and my baby is FOUR!)
Our little girl just got to 18 months, and only now am I finding the time and energy to do stuff besides lounging beside my hubby in bed at the end of the day. We're not TV people, so he tends to listen to talk radio while I play games on my iPod. Cuddle time like that is golden.
dear leah,
i think i love you.
(but not at all in a creepy way, of course.)
(just in that internet-makes-me-think-i-know-you kind of way.)
you are the cutest and i love your writing. adore.
tv + internet = evil and the greatest time-suck of my life.
and yet where am i now?
yep.
hi blogs!
sincerely,
kathryn
Board games! You guys seem like the type to enjoy the intellectual tete-a-tete... I recommend a game called "Wit's End" -- it's awesome for people who have acquired random knowledge about things. It's almost like foreplay-- in that you-have-a-sexy-brain kinda way.
Also, involves screen, but still amazingly fun: Mario Party 8 for the Wii. It became a before-bed treat for us: "a little Mario Party before we hit the sack, honey?"
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