If the Diaper Fits
Parenting is 90 percent instinct, and the rest is a mixture of book larnin', doctors' advice, and maybe even a little unsolicited advice from family/friends/strangers. Case in point, you might remember that a few weeks ago Simon and I conjectured, using our highly developed Parent Instinct, that Wombat might be too big for his Size 1 diapers, which are labeled for babies weighing between eight and twelve pounds. Well, when we went to his three-month checkup later that week, the pediatrician confirmed our assessment not just by weighing him in at a porky 14 lbs. 4 oz. (75th percentile and exactly twice his birthweight), but also by exclaiming immediately upon observation that "Wow! He might be getting a little big for these diapers!" Seeing now that a Size 2 fits him like, well, a diaper instead of like a speedo, we pat ourselves on the back for having been so instinctually gifted, nevermind that we didn't act on our instinct and break out the jumbo diapers right away, thereby avoiding one poosplosion after another after another. So smart, yet so very very stupid.
So I guess we don't deserve those pats on the back after all, which is fine, actually, considering I can barely move my arms. A weekend of hardcore gardening plus day after day after day of lugging around Herr Hammy Porkmeister has rendered me temporarily paraplegic, from the waist to the neck. Imagine, if you will, me carrying Wombat from room to room the only way I am now able: with the scruff of his neck clenched between my teeth. Meow meow meow?
And I know this won't help matters, but can you believe I'm toying with the idea of starting the kid on solid foods soon, which will probably put him in Size 3s before we're halfway through our Size 2s? He's ready for solids according to all the checklists (doubled birthweight? check! sitting with support? check! still hungry at night after boobs have been wrung dry? check!), but I'm also finding myself unnaturally attached to the AAP's solemn decree that all babies be exclusively breastfed for the first six months, and seeing as how we have a perfect record so far...
Here's a little secret about me: I like following rules. I like using correct punctuation, I like paying bills on time and in full, I like crossing in the crosswalk when the little walkman says it's okay. Even more, I like following rules not just for their own sake but because I like order and completeness and symmetry. I got straight As in school mostly just because it made my report cards look neat and tidy. You've heard about women having orgasms during childbirth? I had an OCDgasm just knowing that Wombat was being born exactly on his due date, forty weeks on the dot. Anyway, my point is that while I kinda sorta want to work a little rice cereal into the mix, the rule-following obsessive-compulsive in me wants to wait until Wombat is exactly six months old, not a day sooner or later, as if the AAP is going to give me a Gold Star of Distinction when they send out report cards at the end of the semester. (Oh, I wish!)
For now, here are some photos from the three-month checkup, during which Wombat received two shots and cried over them for a grand total of three seconds. We have it on video and everything, but it's actually embarrassing how much of a non-event the whole thing was, so instead I'll leave you with something a little more embarrassing--a photo from last month and the inspiration for the Dress-Up set on Flickr.
And finally:
I'm with you on the OCD bit! I spell/grammar check my blog posts 27 times before hitting "publish," I never got a "B" in my life until my last semester in college, and good thing there weren't official report cards then, as the messiness would have KILLED me. I have to watch a movie--even when it sucks from the first minute--in its entirety, so I can truly say I've seen it. I'm just one mental case.
That said, you two are doing an awesome job, and I love all the pics!
The second picture is amazing! I love it!
C&C--Yes! It's a sickness! The main reason I don't tag my Flickr photos is because I know that if I tried I would, in an effort to be as thorough as possible, give each photo three hundred tags, which would break the system and ruin it for everyone. It good to know our limits. :)
Orgasms during childbirth?! No, I have not heard of this. Lead me to such insanity.
Can we talk about your sons leg rools? They are perfection. He's adorable.
Oooh - I so get the rule following and I've found pregnancy exhausting because of it (food rules, bath temperature rules, proper weight gain rules, etc). I suppose parenting will be good for me in that way - it will help me to learn to be a rule breaker like my Husband. But I'll never give up my proper crosswalk abiding ways!
Sarah--One of my hippy childbirth books talked all about "erotic childbirth' (UM, NO), and I'm sure you can find all sorts of stuff about it online, but gosh, I don't know if I'd dare Google such a thing...
Do what feels right! Those rules weren't written specifically for Wombat...only for the median/average/imagined baby. Clearly he's exceptional with his sweet lil' 75th percentile physique.
OCDgasm is brilliant.
And the Wombat is adorable.
I do not tag my photos in Flickr either, for the SAME reason. I would drive myself insane.
Ha! Fits like a speedo. For some reason that visual just made me laugh.
Womabt is HUGE! And his thigh rolls look scrumptious. And so you do and Simon. What a family o'hotties.
I've seen them - those ladies pushing out babies and moaning in ecstasy instead of pain? It's a bunch of totally insane, totally unfair, completely WARPED BS. Don't Google it, it's enough to stop all sex and child birthing for the rest of time. And the 6 month mark is just for food allergy reasons. If you have a family history of food allergies it's best to wait until 6 mo. If you don't and he's ready, you can try introducing cereal at 4 mo... In case you wanted my *expert* opinion. Gah.
I just want to nibble on him. COME VISIT ALREADY.
All of my kids started solids at 4 months, on doctor's orders. They were big. And HUNGRY :)
SO CUTE!!!
I love how he looks like he is getting ready to fist bump you in the last photo. Soo very cute.
Haha! I, too, love how he's waiting for a fist bump in the last picture. Don't leave him hangin', man!
The orgasmic childbirth thing...really, I can't roll my eyes enough. But I will try.
His last picture says to me 'Power to the Baby People!'
What an adorable little porker! The pics are beautiful.
I'm so with you on the rule following.
Maybe you can just look up the rules for 20-30 years ago and follow them? You'd get to put the little dude to sleep on his tummy and add cereal at 3 months. It worked OK for all of us.
My favorite ideas for carrying around my 17 lbs 3 month old include: model train system around the outside of the apartment into which you could deposit the baby and pick him up in the next room and lining the crib with pillows and just dropping him in. Take THAT, AAP!
NOT giving him a liitle cereal, when your instincts and child are telling you differently, *solely* for the sake of perfection and following "rules" that were not designed by your child's parents, is utterly ridiculous, slightly irresponsible, and just strange. You're nourishing a HUMAN, not going for perfect attendance. If he's wanting and needing it, *feed him.*
Early parenting is not only instinct, but end-stinks. Just wait til he's 2 and craps his pants like great-grandpa. Z is in Size 5's and we're hoping he won't grow into Size 6 before having a glorious life-changing relationship with the potty.
Also: lift with your legs. If your son grows as fast as mine have, he will want to be picked up, hugged and flown around the room long after he's reached the advisable weight limit for such activity.
Continue to enjoy every minute, and document the ones that seem even remotely important now. Those memories are an investment that gain value as Wombat hurtles toward Manbat.
If I may add my two-cents about the topic of solid food. My pediatrician told my parents I would let them know when I was ready for solid food. Sure enough one night as I sat on my fathers lap while he was eating dinner my tinny hand reached out, grabbed as much of a "fist-full" of rice as I could muster, and shoved it into my mouth. And from then on I was on solid food. Wombat WILL let you know, as he has with everything else, when he is perfectly ready. Until then enjoy your perfection!
Wow, I can't believe he meets those milestones already! My baby is a month older, and while he's just as hefty as your Wombat, he doesn't sit up unassisted (he barely sits up assisted -- I mean, he's a looong way from sitting up), and he doesn't seem hungry at night, and I can't imagine starting him on solids for a while. Sounds to me like your Wombat is the very reason those checklists exist -- so you'll know he's ready now, and I'll know mine isn't!