Comin' 'Round the Mountain
Wednesday was to be the prenatal checkup at which I got my strep B test, which, according to the interwebs, would involve the swabbing of not one but two sensitive areas down south. Simon showed his sympathy by pantomiming the process as if the swab were either attached to a drill or equipped with telescoping capabilities. Lovely.
In the end (ha), it turned out that I only got one swab (and a shallow one at that), and the rest of the appointment was all good news as well. I'm measuring fine, producing fine urine, and my blood pressure is still nice and low, although with a diastolic reading of 50, I wonder if I really might be a hyper-hypo(tensive) after all...Anyone care to give me a Hershey bar and see what feats of strength I can perform?
On the weight front, I'd gained four pounds since my last appointment, which, after the last appointment's somewhat alarming (to me) one-pound-in-four-weeks gain, I actually celebrated for a whole ten minutes before I realized that, wait a minute, that's not four pounds between monthly appointments but four pounds between fortnightly* appointments. So, back to the two-pounds-a-week game plan, I guess.
My next appointment, however, is not in two weeks but in one week. This is partly standard procedure but also partly due to the fact that when the doc checked out my ladybits she said, "Oh, your cervix is already shortening. The baby's right there. I mean RIGHT THERE. You're not going to make it to your due date."
Uh...okay.
My immediate reaction was to raise my arms above my head and give a joyous whoop. Simon's reaction was to turn a lovely shade of celedon. "When you say 'RIGHT THERE' and 'not make it to your due date,' what exactly do you mean? Are we talking, like, any day now?" No, phew, she did not mean "any day now," but she did mean sooner rather than later, which is AWESOME because lately the closer we've been getting to the due date the more my mind has been crowded with visions of spending Christmas Eve in labor and Christmas Day delivering and the day after Christmas trying to pry my son out of the oversized novelty stocking the nursing staff has wedged him into because he is, really, The Best Christmas Present Ever. (Here is where I pantomime a giant barf induced by a telescoping finger.)
So, now when people ask how much longer I have, I'm not stuck giving an answer as boring as "five weeks and change" but can instead exclaim, "Well, my due date is in about five weeks, but the doctor said my cervix is already shortening and the baby's RIGHT THERE, so I'll probably have him much, much sooner than that!" This is where most people back away wide-eyed as if from a live bomb that is audibly ticking but doesn't have a timer display by which people can gague exactly how long until BOOM. Let the "Did your water break or are you just happy to see me" jokes begin!
So...
Wow.
We're at the point now that if labor starts no one's going to stop it, which I guess means it's officially time to Get Our Shit Together. Time to pack the hospital bag** and get glasses I can actually see out of and finish up work projects and take a L&D tour and find a pediatrician and spruce up the scrapbook and buy the rest of the stuff off our registry and select birth announcements and charge the camera battery and half-ass a birth plan and fill the postpartum prescriptions my doc gave me at the last appointment--one for "dull pain" and one for "STABBING pain," along with instructions to stock up on stool softener, milk of magnesia, and dermaplast, the anaesthetic type, which she said is for the "stinging" that occurs when the baby's head crowns. Alrighty then! Anyone care to join me in a rousing chorus of "Ring of Fire"? Everybody!: It burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire. The ring of fire.
*Lest you accuse me of being elitist for using such a fancy term as "fortnightly," please know that I was forced to go there out of clarity, since "biweekly" often means the same as "semiweekly," which is to say twice a week, not every two weeks, which is what I mean. Cool?
**Thank you, Emily, for doing the hard work for me. Would you also like to do the hard work of birthing this baby for me? The whole "stabbing" and "stinging" thing really threw me for a loop. What? You are busy with your own? FINE THEN. BE THAT WAY.
Yay! I always wanted an early Wombat! And more power to your cervix. If it wasn't forced I don't think my cervix ever would have agreed to have a baby.
De-lurking! I've only been reading for a couple months, and only recently added your blog to Google Reader, but I keep coming back because I'm in a similar ... predicament. Anyway, hi! I'm Jen.
My due date is 8 weeks from today, and at my last appointment, they tested me for preeclampsia, which thankfully, I do not have, but it did start the "holy crap, what if I go on bedrest/go into labor early?" conversation with work, since now I have to start my weekly appointments a whole month early, and since I've been planning all along to start my maternity leave on 12/24, when our office closes for the holidays, now I'm sort of fast-tracking all of the projects I'm supposed to accomplish before on I go on leave, and man, is it ever stressful. There is so much uncertainty about when the baby will arrive, and yet everyone expects you to have a plan, tie up loose ends, etc, when all you want to do at this stage of the game is take a nap, maybe eat some more Halloween candy. It's maddening, I tell you.
Anyway, I hope your baby doesn't come too soon! But how exciting to be so close! Wow!
Also, I am not aware of this invasive strep B test. Is this something I have to look forward to at a later date? And by look forward to, I mean dread like I dreaded the glucose test, of course.
Wow, you really could have this baby any time now. I never made it to the Strep B appointment. My daughter was five weeks early after a perfectly normal pregnancy and with no indication or warning. I went to bed one night thinking about what I was going to wear to work the next day and was awoken around midnight with a sharp kick low in my abdomen and then felt another one even lower and then water all over the bed.
We didn't have any thing in your to-do list done (except for the L&D tour), but that's because we basically didn't have anything done. We didn't even have a car seat (I look back now and I'm not sure what we were waiting for). But we threw together a hospital bag, found the camera charger and headed to the hospital. It was kinda crazy. When it comes time for baby #2, I'm going to pack my hospital bag at about 20 weeks, just in case. :)
I hardly ever comment, but I've been reading your blog forever and can't believe its almost time. I'm really happy, in a complete stranger way, for you and Simon. Yay for babies!!
I love delurkers almost as much as I love babies!
Jen--Welcome! And congrats! And yes, I imagine you'll need a strep B test (but maybe only for a planned vaginal birth?) because if you're a carrier you'll need to be on antibiotics during L&D so you don't pass it along to the baby. But maybe it will be like mine--no big deal.
Monica--In your honor, I will now start sleeping on a wee-wee pad, just in case. I'd hate to ruin our brand new mattress!
I too need to get new glasses.
I can't believe you're almost there. Where did the time go?
I, too, am wondering at the passage of time. Can't believe you are so close! Exciting times ahead.
I just hope he either comes before we get there or waits until after we leave so we can still see you guys! This is getting pretty exciting!
Oooh! Let the fun begin!
I had my "3.97 year old that is not potty trained" at 35 weeks and he still weighed 6 1/2 pounds...he would have been ready for school if he had stayed 40 weeks...well, of course, all but the diapering issue which we still haven't conquered.
Get your bags packed lady. I made about 10 trips to l/d for pre-term labor so mine were always packed at 25 weeks or so, but the time is now, pack that bag girl!
i like fortnightly. i never understood "semiweekly" and "biweekly" and "semimonthly", etc, etc.
i think dec 4 is a good birthday, because, um that's my sons'.
and i'm not ashamed (too much) to admit that we put the boys in their christmas stockings last year. because they were so wee! and they fit! i couldn't help myself.
Also pregnant here (37 weeks) and also somewhat baffled by this late pregnancy due date math. When are you due? Well, officially in about three weeks, but anytime would be okay, and it could be five weeks. So, yeah, anytime between now and five weeks from now. I'll just be . . . prepared, then.
Oh yay! How exciting is all of that? I wish you well and that your baby does come sooner rather than later. Good luck!!
HA! This time I actually plan to PACK a hospital bag. Last time, that didn't go so well, even though it looked like I was MIGHTY prepared.
And hey - you DEFINITELY don't want me birthing him for you. I'm TERRIBLE at it, and the hospital walls were probably never the same:
http://captainhambone.typepad.com/not_that_you_asked/2006/11/ashers_birth_st.html
WOW! Look how prepared they've got you. No one warned me about the need for stool softeners, milk of magnesia or dermaplast last time. Maybe I would have liked some? It's all a little fuzzy, even if only 16 months ago.
I just went to the doctor for my 36 week checkup and mentioned the painful (no Braxton Hicks here, we're talking real deal) overnight contraction that I had recently experienced. So, she checked and said that I should expect to have a baby IN A WEEK OR SO because I was already 3cm and this was not my first baby. UM. WHAT THE HECK?
Guess I'd better pack the bag. I will if you will.
Best of luck to you these last few weeks. There's something for you over here:
http://zipbagofbones.blogspot.com/2008/11/ok-now-this-is-getting-kind-of.html
Time passes a lot faster after the kids are "living on the outside." You've probably already heard that a bazillion times, but it is so true.
I might just be getting really confused, but last week I think my kindergartner voted, asked to use my razor and then borrowed the car for a few hours.
I'd totally birth the baby for you. It's kind of fun in a "running a marathon" kind of way.
The nursing bra was also helpful to have ahead of time.
I am SOO stoked for you, since I am also on the countdown and really looking forward to losing all this water weight (and meeting my kid face to face.)
;)