Not Dressed Up; Nowhere to Go
Oh, I had such plans! Pregnant for Halloween! VERY, visbily, undeniably pregnant for Halloween! The possibilities! For offending people! Were endless!
But then I succumbed to gestational inertia, which, like an upsidedown deeply flawed economic plan, trickled up to my brain so that I didn't even have the wherewithal to put on my Halloween socks this morning (ghosts and spiders!) and am instead sporting socks with shamrocks. Nice one, genius.
So, we have no plans for Halloween this year. We don't know anyone who's having a party (that they wanted to invite us to, at least), and it goes without saying that I'm not in the least excited by the thought of public-transiting into the heart of madness that is the Castro at this time of year, especially when (1) they city is trying to shut it down to prevent STABBINGS and (2) I'm pregnant, waaaaaaah.
The presence of pacifiers in our house reminded me of the year I dressed as the world's lankiest baby (I was in third grade but probably about 5'5" and 90 lbs.), and in that spirit I briefly considered spending this evening in an old pair of footed (feeted?) pajamas with a binky in my mouth and pigtails sticking out from my noggin. One small problem, however. Have you ever worn feety jammies past the age when you became responsible for taking care of your own bathroom duties? If so, you know what a pain in the ass it is to get half-undressed every time you need to eke out a teaspoon of pee. Not cool. Actually, it's very, very cool. Freezing cool. (It's rainy and gloomy and cold here now. Just in time for our indoor-outdoor party! Fie!)
So far my celebration of Halloween has been to eat a bunch of mini candybars that some enabler brought into the office. "I'm just taking these two, and that's all I'm going to have all day," I swore aloud. My dear, sensitive coworker was not fooled and told me so. "Yeah, you're probably right. Next time you see me I'm going to have a milk chocolate beard and be springing around like Mike Meyers in the hyper-hypo Philip sketch." Ha ha ha! What a funny, exaggerated image! Like that would ever happen... Flash forward fifteen minutes and I've eaten about ten mini-candybars (micro-minis, mind you), and although I don't have chocolate on my face (wait...let me...no, I don't have chocolate on my face), I do have little specks of chocolate melted onto my shirt. I always wondered what was up with pregnant women spilling things on their bellies--Does pregnancy make you more clumsy? More of an abject slob? What gives?-- but according to Simon, I've always been a clumsy, abject slob, it's just that before there was a belly in the way, all of my droppings fell onto my pants, where they weren't as visible. So it's not that I've lost my fine motor skills and/or dignity; I just never had them.
So, Halloween. It's just not what it used to be. (Although I have to say that I'm SO relieved to be out of the geographic region/age bracket where haunted houses are considered a good way to spend a Friday night. I HATE haunted houses, am terrified of them (even the lame-o elementary school spook alleys I used to help set up!), and am so glad I don't have to waste my sugar highs either (a) suggesting alternatives to my friends while making it seem like I'm not terrified or (b) faking a medical condition once inside the haunted house in order that some kind zombie will break character and let me out the emergency door before I'm even ten steps into the place.)
So, yes. Halloween. Good riddance. At the very least, we'll still probably dress up the cats, but we'd do that on any old night, so I'd hardly call that a holiday. Maybe we'll just pop some corn and watch something scary on t.v. Like Fox News. Guaranteed to make you crap your footed p.j.s!
To me, going to the Castro on Halloween while 8 months pregnant sounds like my version of Hell. UGH. You guys can stay home and hand out candy, right? or do you not get trick-or-treaters in your 'hood?
To me, going to the Castro on Halloween while 8 months pregnant sounds like my version of Hell. UGH. You guys can stay home and hand out candy, right? or do you not get trick-or-treaters in your 'hood?
If anything, we're wise to stay home to defend our house from the trickers. You know Oakland...
I've never ever ever had trick-or-treaters in all my time living in California. I don't know if it's because we're in the city or because parents these days don't trust neighbors the way they used to. If we do get people looking for candy, though, they're going to be s.o.l. All we have is a half-empty box of Honeycombs and maybe some starlight mints in the bottom of my backpack.
We've only ever gotten a couple, though we have candy on hand (and I bring it into the office the next day so as not to eat it all) and sometimes the kids aren't even dressed up, the little ingrates.
One time we got a couple of kids who came while we were still in an apartment complex and I didn't have anything in the house except some fruit. They didn't like that so much.
Just wait til next year, though, when you have a happy little baby to dress up. I have the feeling you'll have some pretty creative costume ideas for your boy.
Yeah I was all gung-ho about painting my tummy as pumpkin or some other such thing so I could tell H she dressed up as a ________ for her first Halloween but... bah. I can't be bothered. I can't paint and don't know anyone who is willing and who *I* am willing to let see the stretched-marked, translucent, pale, veiny monstrosity that is my poor, sad, once sexy midriff. *sigh*
We don't get trick or treaters out here in the sticks, which is kind of sad.
We take the kids into town to get all of their loot.
I think you should dress the cats as Darth Vader and Princess Leia. Just sayin'...
You could always dress up as Bristol Palin. I know...tacky. I'm considering it though (not pregnant...thinking pillow...)
If only I could grow a beard real quick-like, I could be the pregnant man!
I'm so sick that my plans to dress up as a Christmas tree and drink excessive amounts of vodka were derailed by a vicious cold.
I repeat: I DO NOT FEEL LIKE DRINKING.
A sign of the apocalypse for sure. Instead I'll be staying home and nursing a headache and a sore throat. Makes me sad.
I just moved to Australia, where they don't celebrate halloween! It's a bit heartbreaking honestly.
I had plans to be Shirley Temple or a 70s Tennis star.
We are still at a point where we go all out on Halloween, but I'm not sure all of our friends are still on board with that. We hosted a party this year and only one of our friends put as much effort into her as we did. Maybe we just need younger friends...
...into her costume... is what I meant to say.
My best Halloween costume EVER was when I went as hyper-hypo Philip, complete with helmet and harness and chocolate-smeared face. I totally peaked; everything after that has been a disappointment.
I threw my son a halloween party on Friday ever since he and my hubby bought me a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings from www.idonowidont.com for my birthday recently.
My hubby was The Donald & I went as a very pregnant Ivana Trump so I could wear the earrings already. My kid was Batman. No parties next year!
You have many years of Halloween costumes and parades ahead of you - so a quiet year doesn't sound too bad. We did both Telegraph & Piedmont Ave parades this year with the little horse. It was his first ever candy.
Just think, though. Halloween next year is going to ROCK. And that prescription for fun won't expire until the kid is a teen-ager and refuses to leave his room.