Stubborn Is as Stubborn Does
Growing up with a nurse for a mom meant that unless you had "stopped breathing or were on fire," you were probably fine. Her favorite remedy for just about everything was "Have a popsicle," and that usually worked. It helped that I never had any serious injuries as a kid (always with bruises up and down my shins but never a broken bone or a hospital stay; I was a very cautious treeclimber), but still, I'm alive and well and almost thirty years old and I've been eating a lot of popsicles lately in addition to all those jugs of water and now, two days out from all those contractions, I'm fine.
My experience with doctors has been that I sit in the waiting room for forty-five minutes, have a five-minute exam, and then get sent home with a "you're fine" and a fee. Even when I've been dragged to a clinic with tonsils resembling pierogies, my strep tests always came back negative. Always. When I was dragged into the ER with severe kidney pain and three days' worth of UTI complaints, my tests came back only slightly irregular. "We don't know what it is, but according to the test you don't have a UTI." Luckily, my mom has been with me during those times and kindly told the doctors that they would be writing me a prescription for antibiotics before we left, thank you very much, and that was that. I was fine then and I'm fine now.
I'm the queen of self-diagnosis, of waiting it out, of thinking the worst and then thinking the best and then thinking that maybe if I just turn on the TV and zone out for awhile I'll forget all about it. So far this has worked. So far I'm fine.
At this point, research and common sense (mine) says:
--if the contractions don't persist and/or get worse, you're probably fine
--if you're not leaking, you're probably fine
--sex causes uterine contractions and semen contains prostaglandins, which help soften the cervix; if you don't have sex, you'll probably be fine
--other people tend to worry more than you do; if you listen to your body, you'll probably be fine
The night my mother went in to labor with me, she told my dad it was time to go to the hospital, and do you know what he did? He hopped in bathroom for a leisurely shower and full-scale grooming session while my mom huffed and puffed by the door. That was me on Sunday morning; I thought, "Well, if I do need to go to the hospital, I'd better take a shower first. And try to trim my toenails because ew. Right after I finish reading this magazine article about affordable vacation packages. And have a snack. And maybe a nap."
I hear what everyone is saying, and I just might call the doc to tell her about Sunday's incident, although, shit, it's going to be really embarrassing to tell her about something that apparently sounds really serious (it didn't feel very serious) two days after the fact. Being chastised only makes me eye-rolly and rebellious, and that's probably not a good attitude for me to slip into right now. I am weighing the consequences of (a) not being allowed to take a ninety-minute flight to my own baby shower versus (b) going into pre-term labor four hundred miles away from home at a hospital that doesn't take my insurance at all, and that disparity in scenarios just might be enough to make me call. And yes, obviously it's worth $25 to find out that I'm in pre-term labor and need to be on meds and bedrest for the safety and survival of my child, but...it's not worth $25 to find out that I'm fine. Peace of mind, schmease of mind--you guys are way more worried than I am. (But is it worth $25 for me to make the Internets feel better? Hmmm...)
I don't know. I just kind of think this is old news now. Am I even more insane than I thought?
All I can think of is that you just explained why my wife hasn't had labor pains in 5 years.
:-)
Seriously...call the Dr.
Am I the only one who kind of thinks you're making perfect sense? I mean, sure, it could be something, but I'm SO with you on that it could also be an (expensive) nothing.
Oh my God, I just read all the comments on yesterday's post and now I feel kind of bad. I do care! I do! But am also apparently not prone to over-worry. Oy. (I feel slightly ashamed, but maybe not? Gosh, I don't know.)
All I can go from is my own experience here and I was fine! I was 32'ish weeks and had been at a baseball game and gotten really hot- we were 2 hours from home and the entire 2 hours I had contractions every 4-6 mintues (braxton hicks I was sure, they didnt hurt they were just close together) I was freaked out a bit- when we got home I did the same. Got a jug of water and hung out with my feet up and after another hour (3 total) they stopped. I didnt call my dr, but I did mention it at my next appt- she said I was just dehydrated. So, I say you were fine, you are fine. BUT what the hell do I know, right?!! Trust your gut!
Yes, I forgot to mention that my OB does in fact know that I've been having contractions, lots of them, for quite some time. She told me to just stay hydrated and to call her if I got worried. She hasn't felt the need to do any internal checks yet, and last time she even okayed me to schedule my next visit for four weeks, instead of three, as I had been doing. It seems she's just as laidback and unconcerned as I am.
As someone who isn't pregnant, has never been pregnant, and who - it could be argued - doesn't have the sense god gave a tree squirrel, take this comment with your proverbial salt lick. (mmm...salt!)
I think that in this whole giving birth/having a baby/who turns into a toddler/who then becomes a child/who tragically becomes a teenager/who grows to support you in high style in your old age, there are going to be many, many times when you have to trust your own common sense.
We all want to help and offer our opinions and generally be The Village, but in the end you have to trust your own judgment. And it sounds like you do.
i work in the prenatal field, and swear by the advice: if you think you're in labor have a glass of wine and take a bath. if it's still happening after that, call the doc.
i know that can be a bit, ahem, controversial advice, but i find it really clears up whether it's "really happening!!$%!!" or not.
Honestly, I'm sure you are fine. It's more of a principle/'for the future' concern. What's weirding me out is that you keep saying "I'm fine" when really the issue should be, is the baby fine. Because I'm pretty sure being born 10 weeks early isn't optimal. And all because you didn't want to be inconvenienced. I think that's all we are saying.
(Seriously not trying to be judgy, just explaining the other perspective)
I think I agree with Sarah.
And, heh, is this the first time the internets have busted in and told you how/what to do with your kid? You've been initiated, or something! Hurrah!
"if you don't have sex, you'll probably be fine"
A little late to try to catch that train, isn't it?:-)
MMMM. I like leenie's advice.
Ok, well then, if you wanna play like that, tomorrow is de-lurking day and I have banners and codes on my blog if you wanna play along or make your own and in the meantime I'm just gonna pretend that you aren't even pregnant and continue to ask you to do things for me, because hey, if you weren't pregnant, I'd ask these things, and hey, if you aren't worried, why should I because I'm not sending you the $25 to be told you are fine, so you might as well just play along with my pretend game that you aren't pregnant and you need to go get ready for de-lurking tomorrow, mmmk?
It's obvious you've got know-how and common sense on your side, but seriously, $25 is SO worth it to make sure everything's fine. I'm totally sure you are, but on the tiny tiny possibility something is in need of intervention, in the grand scheme of things $25 and some wasted time in a waiting room is so not a big deal. No doctor in their right mind is going to think any less of you for calling after the fact -- pregnancy is this super-short period of your life when really, it's just best to err on the safe side, and you don't need a rundown of the reasons why. And this is coming from someone who hates doctors' visits to the point of phobia.
THUS ENDETH MY MOTHER-HEN-LIKE NAGGING. (I NAG BECAUSE I LOVE.)
I'm looking at this $1200 bill because my insurance didn't cover my trip to the hospital for pre-term labor.
"Outside of covered pregnancy expenses," it says.
Of course, I have to fight it, but standing at the intersection of laziness and frugality (as you so aptly put it) makes me just want to put it in a drawer.
My point? No matter *what* you do, they may screw you so follow Simon's lead!
Okay, so, I have a stomach thing that was thought to be gallbladder but the gallbladder is gone and the stomach thing survives. We don't know what it is but we know that it mimics labor pains, 'cept way higher up than they would be if I were pushing out a kid and there is vomiting and it lasts between 30 minutes to 6 hours, although the 6 hours has only occurred twice - once when they decided to remove my gallbladder and once on a plane to Hawaii (totally not fun but it went away). SSOOOOO...the whole point of this story is when it happens I refuse to go to the hospital 1) because doctor's tell me I'm fine, or I'm not fine but they'll be damned if they know what's wrong with me 2) the ER takes so long chances are all symptoms will be gone by the time I'm seen 3) It costs money and I don't need to pay for #1 and #2. Then, I could make a real dr. appt. but even if they see me the next day...what good does that do? I'm FINE by then, until the next time and that costs money too.
All that to say, I see where you're coming from. I really wouldn't worry because if it was horribly wrong, I think you'd know, and you just had a Dr. appt and are going to have another one and they should know if something is out of the ordinary. That said, I would mention your contractions, even if just in passing - in a, I've never been this pregnant before is this normal or is there an alien in there - kinda way. I've asked if my gallbladder could have grown back, they say no, I disagree.
My nurse-mom generally recommended Tylenol or rest. We avoided many a doctor's bill by waiting things out.
Sweetie - I get where you're coming from as I grew up with a dad that's a doctor and a mom that's a nurse. You had to be damn sick to get much sympathy in our house!! That said, when it comes to my baby, I jump at the slightest fever, etc. since she can't yet tell me what hurts, doesn't feel right, etc. I understand that you're feeling better - two days later - and if you weren't about to hop on a plane, I'd say bring it up at your next appointment. The whole flying thing, though, makes me nervous for you. So, just spend the $25 to make the internets feel better! :)
I'm completely with you. I hate the thought of spending the time and money at the drs office just for them to say that I'm fine and need rest or worse yet that they don't know why i'm feeling badly. But here's the thing.. as women we tend to want to comfort others.. "oh I'm okay.. I don't need help.. I feel fine.. It's just a flesh wound.." Just remember that it's OKAY to say you need help, that you aren't well and dr what the hell do you mean you don't know! Your health is important too and it's okay to say so.
I've been missing out on the drama!
I think you are perfectly sane, and just not one to overreact. You do what you think is best, friend.
Wow, a girl goes out of town for a day and look what she misses!
I'm glad you're feeling better, but I agree with The Internet that peace of mind is worth $25, especially since you're getting on a plane in a few days. Note to Wombat: Stay inside a few more weeks! Your blanket isn't finished yet!
No advice here, just relief that I live in a country with a national health service. A trip to the hossie here in the UK may be endless, boring and frustrating but I'm so grateful it's free.
As an aside, I've noticed that once women become pregnant, their bodies seem to become public property, and from a feminist perspective, that bugs me. But that's my issue!
Hope you are feeling OK.