Pound Cake
Eating has become more complicated since The Onset of The Reflux because I must now approach each meal with the mindset of not only "what would taste good right this minute" but also "what will taste good an hour from now, and an hour after that" because, well, you know how The Reflux is, that bitch. Finding a food that satisfies both criteria is hard and makes me cranky. Also hungry, because even the perfect food (du moment)must be consumed in small quantities due to the not-insignificant fact that my stomach is no longer the nice-sized pouch it once was but now more like a 4 oz. inflexible ramekin boobytrapped with an eject button that goes off whenever I move from sitting to standing, standing to sitting, sitting to reclining, rolling from one side to another, or even thinking about attempting one of the above acrobatics.
Anyway, last night Simon and I went to a big fancy ceremony in a big fancy venue in big fancy San Francisco for my not-so-big and decidedly unfancy but brilliant and awesome and inspiring boss. (I wish I could tell you who he is and then invite you over to meet him because he's amazing.) The big fancy ceremony was followed by a reception that was so big and fancy there was a photographer there shooting portraits of attendees for, I suspect, the Sunday paper's Society Pages, and at this reception there was, of course, food--tiny fancy food, because everyone knows that fancy food is, by design, tiny.
Unfortunately, The Reflux was also in attendance, and the only thing that sounded good to me was a big-ass plate of sliced oranges. But of course there were no sliced oranges at the reception because the caterers had unthinkingly blown their budget on trays of miniature risotto cakes and martini glasses full of salmon and caviar and itty-bitty take-out boxes containing spicy noodles. Phooey.
When I saw the cupcake table, however, I was saved, for there was a chocolate one with a raspberry on top! Fruit! Beloved fruit! Too bad I wanted a handful of raspberries instead of just a single one. Too bad also that I wasn't bold enough to just pick them out of their buttercream frosting nests while no one was looking. Can you imagine what the Society Pages would say if I were caught? Mon dieu.
The worst part about the whole cupcake thing, however, was that it forced me to arrive at the full realization that I have no willpower whatsoever. Just hours before, I was standing on the scale at the doctor's office marvelling at another seven-pounds-in-three-weeks weight gain and fortifying myself against the impending excision of brownies, doughnuts, french fries, ice cream, and kiddy cereals from my diet. And this time I was serious. Really really serious.
Flash forward to three hours later and I'm glad-handing Society Folks with chocolate crumbs on my chin and frosting on my nose. Flash foward to right this minute, as I daintily devour a cupcake decorated to look like Kermit's head. So! I think this is going well!
Although I joke about it, the whole pregnancy pounds thing is honestly kind of a trip. I was never a person who thought about her weight (I'm more of a focus-on-specific-flawed-body-parts type of girl), and although I knew that my pre-pregnancy numbers meant I didn't need to be overly concerned about growing to a size that would endanger the earth's gravitational balance, I still had a framework and a goal in mind. And I know that the weight gain recommended by all the books and websites and experts is just an approximate guide andthat everyone is different and that it's not "fat" it's "baby" and that there are so many other things more important than this, but still...Seven pounds in three weeks (and this is now the second time in a row I've racked up those stats) is kind of scary.
Even scarier is that I'm not scared enough to Just Say No to the brownies I hear calling me from the kitchen. I can't help it; they know my name. And they also don't taste too bad on the way back up an hour later.
If it takes awhile to find what you're willing to eat, go eat it, be it brownies, cupcakes, or whatever! I hereby give you permission. :)
I'm so with you! Peanut M&M's, frozen yogurt, apple pie, donuts and lots and lots of cookies have sustained me the last nine months. Don't feel too bad, I gained 5 pounds in two weeks at my last appointment. They say the weight gain slows in the last month, but I say that's BS.
After losing about 10 pounds, I gained EIGHT this past month and was mortified. Mortified enough to eat French toast 15 minutes after the appointment.
Meh. I hear you on never having to worry about weight. Try not to worry about the speed at which you gain. It'll all even out. I gained 40 pounds (yup! exciting!) with K and it all went away (except for the stretch marks and streeeeeetched out skin!)
I remember coming home after a similar appointment when pregnant with Emily and the doctor told me if I kept up that rate, I would gain at least 50 pounds.
I came home and cried.
The next month was back to normal. I would gain in spurts.
You just eat whatever tastes good going down. And back up.
(I had HORRIBLE reflux with Graham. I lived on TUMS. :) )
I have also experienced the TOTAL LACK of willpower, which is weird for me, because I generally don't have cravings (besides salt & vinegar chips once a month). But these pregnancy cravings? INSANE. I seriously feel like I WILL DIE if I don't eat those pancakes. I'll die!! And I'm already on the reflux train at week 12. TERRIFIED for what this means on down the line.
Eat up while you can. Once you're a parent you will nearly always be the last one to eat. And at least early on, cleaning up after the wee eater will induce automatic appetite suppression. That and what comes out on the other end!
Oh, pregnancy weight gain SUCKS. I always did the most damage in my second trimester and gained 8 pounds a month almost 3 months in a row. Gah. But then things slowed down. You will do just fine, and even if you've got a bit to lose post-baby, I have the feeling you've got the metabolism that will just make the weight melt away. You are beautiful! And not fat!
(delurking) With my first I gained a whopping 10 pounds in one month. Thanksgiving was really tasty that year. This time around, I am currently 17 weeks and have gained 1 pound. Damn all day sickness.
I am also supportive of eating tasty things. But being similarly thin, usually dismissive of people who tell me what to eat and freaked out about weight gain, let me share with you some of the tricks I have gleaned in trimester 2. Maybe one of them will get past your reflux:
--low fat chocolate milk cures interest in ice cream (though not the chocolate craving, sadly)
--cinnamon toast can cure evening sugary cereal needs (haven't tried it in the morning: why would I want to substitute for cereal in the morning?!). It does pretty well for baked goods too.
--tapioca pudding can be made low-fat and solve my need for frosting. Frosting, we've discovered, can also solve that need, but we try to forget that.
Oh man, I was so there with the reflux. I wouldn't even be nauseous, but I would (almost daily) lose half of my dinner. Gross but true. (Grosser was the fact that I could almost always come back and finish up dinner without a problem. I remember brushing my teeth after my daughter was born and marveling at the fact that I wasn't gagging through the whole process. Isn't it awesome?
Even knowing all of this, and reading your stories...I still kind of want to have another. So I'll just have to live vicariously through you!
All the best.
Oh, I REALLY want a cupcake now...
PWAAAAAAAAhahahahaha! I gained ten in a month since my last visit. My doctor, was even like, "wow lady". In my defense I didn't gain a pound or show at all for like 4 monhts, so ehhhhh, who cares? I did have to go in for my first emergency hospital visit last night though, they think it's a gall bladder issue, so I may have to ease up on the ol "you go to the doctor - you get a cheeseburger and fries" rule.
You'll be fine, pre-baby you seem to be my build and if the women in your family rebounded good from it, you will too. I come from little people, we live under bridges.