July 15, 2008
Monday
Yesterday evening while tidying the house for guests (it's presentable, but you might not want to lick the floors...), I picked up Linus to prevent him from being crushed by a major piece of furniture, and when I grabbed him, his side was wet. The following high-level monologue ensued:
"Are you wet? Why are you wet? Linus is wet! Why is Linus wet?! How did you get wet, Linus?"
As it turned out, he was not wet but...poopy. I discovered this after I (a) noticed the stench and (b) looked at my hand, smeared in cat crap. Rather than carry him off straightaway to the tub, calmly and confidently in the way of an experienced cat mother, I'm embarrassed to say that I shrieked, dropped him, and ran, much in the same way that I did when I was little and our neighbor's attack dog ran at my brother and me and, instead of grabbing my defenseless baby bro and taking him to a safe place, I turned tail and bolted, shutting the gate behind me. I have a great self-preservation instinct but need some practice on my teamwork skills. I know this. (And baby brother was fine, mostly.)
Luckily, Simon was in the vicinity of the Linus Poo incident and was able to decipher my squeals enough to realize he should corner the little stinker until I could locate both the pet shampoo and my wits. What happened next was this:
Linus hates Mondays
Simon was stripped down in the tub with him, and I have to say I was impressed at how well they both handled the affair, at least up until the very end, when Linus somehow scaled eight feet of sheer shower door and was ready to leap for sweet, dry freedom before I caught him in a towel and rubbed him down. Poor thing was so pathetic, but at least now he'll be clean for his first birthday in a few weeks.
And that's my story for today. You're welcome.
*We still don't know how he managed to get a solitary chunk of poop all the way up by his shoulder and nowhere else on himself or in the house. For lack of another explanation, suspicion has been reluctantly thrown upon Eve, although it's hard to believe that such a sweet girl could be capable of such a heinous drive-by wiping. I guess we'll never know.
Posted by Leah at July 15, 2008 10:23 AMDoes Linus have claws? If so, Simon is a brave man to strip down in a tub with a sharp, angry kitty.
Posted by: hillary at July 15, 2008 11:32 AMYes, brave indeed.
I have never seen a cat climb up glass before, but the little bastard did it.
Posted by: Simon at July 15, 2008 11:39 AMHe does have claws--those tiny little needle-point kitten claws. I had the exact same reaction: instead of stripping down to nothing, shouldn't you be putting on a kevlar suit and leather gloves? Luckily, Linus just stood there like a dope up until the very end, and no one was injured or killed.
Posted by: Leah at July 15, 2008 11:39 AMHAHA! Oh, I love pictures of post-bath kitties. And yes, I think Linus does hate Mondays...but does he love lasagna?
Posted by: jive turkey at July 15, 2008 11:44 AMOh my God, major kudos to you for getting a cat in a bath. A CAT. IN A BATH. Amazing.
(Also, I totally would have dropped him and screamed. Totally.)
Posted by: jonniker at July 15, 2008 12:34 PMRiesling gets this same look during/after her baths. Thank goodness she can't climb glass, but she can nose open the shower stall. Very sneaky.
Posted by: leandra at July 15, 2008 12:35 PMDrive-by wiping. HA!!!
Posted by: Elizabeth at July 15, 2008 12:47 PMPoor poopy kitty!
I am so glad I've never had to bathe any of my cats. It wouldn't be pretty.
Posted by: merrymishaps at July 15, 2008 01:57 PMWow. Simon, I tip my hat to you. You are a brave, brave fellow. There is no way we could ever give Loki a bath, even if we wanted to, without some sort of sedation (on his part, at least) - we can't even clip his claws because he is so strong, big, heavy, and averse to claw clipping. Luckily, neither of our cats has ever had an incident that required a bath (wet paper towels, yes), because while I'm pretty sure we'd survive a Petra bath, a Loki bath would result in both humans having no more skin.
Poor pooped-upon (however it happened) kitty, but he's still outrageously cute and I still intend to kidnap him someday.
Posted by: Emily at July 15, 2008 02:11 PM"Drive-by wiping"! I love it!
I am pretty sure I will not be licking your floors, though.
Posted by: Angella at July 15, 2008 02:51 PMThat's hilarious! You should post one of the pics with a caption on http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Just wait for baby poop!
You're a good mommy.
Posted by: that girl at July 15, 2008 03:50 PMWell, there goes being off cat litter duty while pregnant. Ewww!!
Posted by: Sarah at July 15, 2008 04:51 PMp.s. Not as bad as poop at all, but my husband and I have been finding hairballs all over the house. I've never had a cat that hacked up hairballs before. I thought it was urban kitty legend. Anyway, the other morning I stepped on one. blarf!
Posted by: Sarah at July 15, 2008 04:53 PMYou are very, very brave! I've never attempted to bathe a cat, too scared. I love my cat but I think I'd have scooped her up and driven to the groomer.
Posted by: Kim at July 15, 2008 05:39 PMI had a cat who used to love getting in the bath with me. She did it the first time not realising all those bubbles were not a solid surface, and decided she liked it.
Posted by: amanda at July 15, 2008 06:57 PMAt least it wasn't a run-by fruiting.
Posted by: Alyce at July 15, 2008 08:25 PMHahahahaha. I just had a 17 hour workday, and omg, this made me laugh SO HARD. thanks for the hysterical ending to a long day. :)
Posted by: SarahCool at July 15, 2008 08:27 PMThat first picture should be on the front page of interestingness!
Laughed out loud at work. Thanks!
Someone mentioned baby poop, which really isn't so bad. Starts out smelling almost like potpurri, but it's when they are about 2 years old that you wonder what on earth they've been eating (because there is definitely old man poop in that diaper!), and oh my, do I need Febreeze or a fire extinguisher? Yikes!
I wonder how your cats will react to the baby ...
Posted by: Texas T-bone at July 16, 2008 10:53 AMOh my.
Rory was on the desk with me when I opened that post, then looked away in embarrassment at the shots of Linus post-bath. I told her there was nothing embarrassing, but still... she wanted to allow him to maintain his dignity.
I thought the pics were very very cute. I was just thinking the other day taht we hadn't seen Linus in a while. :)
Posted by: Paige at July 16, 2008 01:54 PMWe had a situation like earlier this year with our cat Maggie. Unfortunately, we found her poop-covered self at about midnight on a worknight (we'd been at a baseball game). And she was stuck in a plastic bag... (note that plastic bags are kept under lock and key now) and wouldn't come out from under the couch.
Posted by: Deva at July 17, 2008 05:52 AMI've been meaning to ask you this but have been forgetful. I guess it is okay to slip these questions in here. Are you still putting the plastic coverings on Eve's claws? Do you recommend them to other people? Thanks.
Posted by: Green Eyes at July 17, 2008 12:03 PM
