Going to the Mattress
We're getting a new mattress delivered tomorrow evening, and not a moment too soon (although perhaps a few nights too late). We're in the middle of a heat wave here (which means it will probably be freezing for BlogHer weekend; bring a scarf!), and last night Simon and I kept waking up in the wee hours to shove and carp about who was taking up too much space and who needed to keep his clammy arm off my clammy arm, GROSS.
We've been sleeping on the same mattress for years now, and we've never had this problem, so I can only blame recent life changes for making us suddenly too much family for one double (yes! a double!) bed: Simon + pregnant lady + full-length body pillow + large cat + medium-size cat (the last two of whom stretch out to full length during the heat, one between my legs and the other against my head and neck with his grubby paw in my eye) = "I'm crowded! Roll over!" And you know what happens next.
The mattress purchase (holy sticker shock, Batman!) is the final piece of the puzzle in getting the house in order, lo these twelve months(!) later. We bought a new queen-sized bed frame as well, and all that's left to do now is rehang the wall art that came down during the Great Paint of '08 and we'll have finished the last room in the house. (Want to know a secret? I'm already kind of over the purple.) Of course, sometime in the next few months we're going to have to move the library from the back-of-the-house sunroom to the front-of-the-house office to make way for Wombat, but for now we're going to enjoy things as they are while we still can--preferably while in a deep and restful slumber uninterrupted by the sound of sticky skin adhering to sticky skin any time someone rolls over. If I could only get Linus to keep his paws to himself, it'd be bliss.
Now, if you'll kindly allow me to sully Simon's pristine reputation, I have to say that he was pretty darn testy last night in bed. I'm going to tell you a story about why he was testy, but before I do, I should say now that the only correct reaction to this story is righteous indignation--not "he should have been more careful" or "at least it went to a good cause"--but righteous, fist-shaking indignation. Got that? Okay.
Once upon a time, about a month ago, the drummer for Simon's band moved away, and with her went the remaining band members' desire to keep renting the expensive practice space she'd arranged for them several years ago. Simon was given a deadline to get his stuff out of the space, but one thing after another happened and the deadline came and went and his stuff--his old bass and old amp--was still there when the keys were handed over to the new renter. Unfortunately, Simon didn't have any contact with the new renter, who'd done all his business through the drummer--the drummer who was moving and therefore had her phone disconnected and was unreachable for an entire month--so he had no way to contact either of them about what had happened to his stuff. His course of action was then to randomly and repeatedly drop by the practice space hoping to catch this guy and see if he could retrieve his instrument and equipment. They eventually met up but the guy said that when he moved in the space was empty, no sign of Simon's bass or amp.
Flash forward to yesterday, when Simon hears from his drummer out of the blue. When he asks her if she knows what happens to his stuff, she says of course she does: she found it in the practice space and took it home and stored it in her garage for the last month...up until she GAVE IT AWAY AT A GARAGE SALE.
She GAVE IT AWAY!
She said that after having stored it for a month without hearing from Simon (who didn't have any of her new contact info although she had all of his), she figured he just didn't want it (his bass! and his amp!) and so she charitably gave it away to some dude off the street who claimed to teach music to disabled children. (It's probably better if we try hard to believe that he was telling the truth and not just scamming someone who, apparently, isn't that bright.) So now Simon's things are in the possession of some mystery man, and because his ex-drummer claims she didn't sell them, he doesn't even get reimbursed for the loss of something he never wanted to get rid of in the first place. And in all that time she had his stuff in her garage, it didn't occur to her to, I don't know, give him a call. Can you even believe that happened?
He is bummed. I am livid. And full of righteous indignation, of course. *fist shaking* Good thing we're getting two free pillows with our new mattress tomorrow: fresh down works wonders to muffle the screaming.
OMG I WOULD BE PISSED. Seriously - I didn't have to try for righteous indignation, it just bubbled on up all by itself.
WHO DOES THAT????
A BAD person, that's who. Maybe I overestimate most people, but I'm shocked she didn't even try to get in touch before SELLING THINGS THAT DID NOT BELONG TO HER.
wtf? I bet she sold them.
I am so shaking my fist right now.
What, she couldn't even send him a quick email? Who assumes that people will have your updated contact info IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM??
Gah!
There is only one course of action.
Simon must swear revenge.
Now, the proper way to swear revenge, as taught by Jay from Clerks, is to loudly declare, "All you mutherfukkers are going to pay! You are the ones who are the ball lickers!"
Trust me, he will feel much better afterward.
(And I am livid on his behalf. What an asswipe. (The ex-drummer, of course))
Also, it is hot here, and we don't have A/C, and I don't think we could handle 2 kitties on the bed (there's generally only one) even in our queen. And I ADORE our queen size bed. You guys are going to love your new bed, promise.
I am fuming with righteous indignation!!! It has nothing to do with me. Still fuming and shaking my fist.
I feel like my husband does this kind of stuff ALL the time.
Oh, am I the only one who sees that fault equally lies with Simon?
(although you know the drummer sold it and pocketed the money)
Lurker here! Trying to figure out where on earth "Going to the Mattress" came from and I realized - "You've Got Mail" - the poor man's "Sleepless in Seattle"! I'm pretty sure anyway and if I'm wrong, man does the excitement of figuring it out look stupid!!
Congrats on the new bed! You will LOVE it!
I was prepared to have to force myself to sympathize, thinking it was the New Renter that gave Simon's stuff away. But it was the DRUMMER? That is some serious bullsh*t there. *shaking my fist on your behalf*
Sidenote: I would kill for a Freak Freeze next week at BlogHer, I am ever so weary of being hot n' sticky here in the Plains.
WHO DOES THAT???
Why would she not call? Is she socially inept on a grand scale.
*Shakes both fists*
Oh, poor Simon. I can't even summon indignation. Poooooooooooooooooor Simon.
Every time I sink down into bed at night, I thank my momentary lapse in financial responsibility for allowing me to pay what I paid for my new mattress. (Well, new in January, but I'm STILL in love with it.) So however great the sticker shock, it will all be SO WORTH IT.
Also, dude, what a bitch! We once had a woman who moved into the place we moved out of and WOULD NOT give us back the bar and bar stools we accidentally left in the storage space. It took months of us haranguing her, a few fake claims that she'd thrown our stuff out, one of us spotting the bar and bar stools IN HER KITCHEN (!!!!), and several threatening phone calls later before she begrudgingly gave it all back to us. Even then, she only opened the door a crack, stuck her (pissy) face through it, and said "It's out back." I wish bad things on her all the time.
We could form a gang and go after her. I'm kind of tough. Ok not really. Actually yes, really. Don't let the pearls fool you.
Whaaaaaaat?!?! Oh, MAN! Who DOES that? I have a feeling she isn't telling you the whole story. She probably sold the stuff for cash & pocketed it. Grrr. Karma, my friend. It will come back on her.
We once accidentally left some BRAND NEW fishing equipment in our old apartment's storage space, and when we realized our mistake, we contacted the woman who was subletting from us until our lease ran out, and she was all WHA? HUH? No, there's nothing down there. And then when we said we'd come have a look "just in case," she cracked and admitted she gave it all to her brother but would give it back to us. But when we tried to call her to set up a time for the exchange, her phone MAGICALLY STOPPED BEING ANSWERED. Bitch. Grrr. Now I'm angry all over again. A pox on these people.
(But Holly's bar stool story was so satisfying because of the outcome...and hilarious because WHO IS WILLING TO LIE AND BE THAT DECEITFUL OVER BAR STOOLS? Honestly.)
I am officially RIGHTEOUSLY INDIGNANT on your and Simon's behalf. The NERVE!
I think The Drummer should be known as The Moron.
For those who care, I asses it as such:
My ex-drummer is not malevolent. She is dumb as a rock.
-Simon.
We did the double-bed thing before. Now, nine years later, the queen is a tad on the too-close-for-comfort side. But a king is really too too big.
As ancient Chinese philosopher Confusedcious said: "A worm in the hand is better than two birds overhead." Not really sure how that applies to the whole bass/amp thing, other than it's a bummer, time flies and uh, happy belated 4th of July.
Umm, it sounds like the bass and amp went to a good cause. I mean, it sucks for y'all, but think of all the disabled children who will now be able to learn music? I mean, think of all the jam sessions this guy will be able to have with his friends in their garage?
What I really mean is: SHE GAVE THE STUFF AWAY? WITHOUT EVEN A CALL? WTF?!?
I hear ya on the heat: I only have me, a boy and a large cat in a QUEEN bed, and I've still been waking up in a pool of sweat the last two nights. And don't even get me started on how much I've been sweating while working from my home in MY UNDERWEAR during the days. Hot!
Btw, meet ya this weekend! Finally. =)
It's amazing how many people can't connect the dots. Sometimes my boyfriend tells me how canny I am at figuring out complicated finance crap without an ounce of formal training (or any help from him) and I'll quizzically reply "but isn't that just simple logic?"
Turns out a lot of people don't have it. I actually find that type of stupidity a zillion times more irritating than outright malevolence.
We are having the bed debate right now-he wants to buy it for me, I'm wriggling in embarrassment at that idea. I seem to have found a very decent deal on mattress.com, though.
What's that thing called - up in the browser grey bar that says, "(u)p in here?" I can't stop singing along. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.
Seriously that drummer gets a big ole heaping helping of WTF, because that shizz is crazy. How do you do that? Give someone's stuff away without even calling to say, "um, I'm gonna give your stuff away if you don't come get it."
Is there any chance that she didn't KNOW that he didn't have her contact info? Or that she was pissed off that she had to move the stuff herself? Playing devil's advocate here, I'd might be pretty pissed if I gave someone a deadline, they ignored it, then left ME to move their stuff. I'm not saying I'd be mad enough to just give it away, but I might be peeved enough to, I don't know, not oil it every night or something (Not that I know shit about ah, musical equipment and whether it needs to be OILED).
And some people are a little vindictive that way. She might be dumb, but she also might have been just pissy enough not to make the effort.
Although never mind. I see we're talking about a bass and amp and not, say, a drum set or giant wall of something vaguely musical. I imagined this huge heaving thing that required the assistance of big, burly men.
It seems like she should have at least called before she gave it to the guy and said that if he didn't pick it up that day she was giving it away.
Make sure to have fun ripping the tags off the mattress, too.