That's the Song I Hear
I'm still feeling extra lovey-dovey toward Simon (and all creatures great and small, save Linus at 5:45 every goddamn morning; dear Linus: burlap sack, backyard pond, any questions?) and I don't know whether it's hormones or that he (Simon) is just being exceptionally delightful these days. He makes dinner when I'm feeling too lazy pregnant to get off the couch, he comes to the craft store with me and waits while I stand in front of the scrapbook aisle for an hour muttering to myself, and he's even starting to catch on to some of the things I've been trying to train him on for years, such as closing the shower door when he's done so the cats don't frolic in the wet tub and then leave paw prints all over the wood floors.
He's also learning that I'm not just being a nag when I say you can't leave tempting things on the counters like rubber bands and those plastic tabs that come off bags of bread loaves. The cats will not only find them and play with them at 5:45 every goddamn morning but they will also eat them. A few days ago, Eve dropped at my feet the remaining mouthful of delicious rubber band from a bunch of asparagus we (okay, Simon) had cooked the night before, and although I was relieved that neither of the cats were choked or poisoned, I was even more relieved that I am off litterbox patrol for the rest of the year.
Simon is learning, though. I found this when I woke up:
His dashing daddy duty today is driving over the Golden Gate Bridge during Friday-night rush hour to pick up a crib a friend of his is passing along to us. A few weeks ago Simon told the friend we were having a baby, and boom, just like that, we have a crib. Who knows what it looks like (we were only told that it's "nice"), but will you hear me complain? No. Well, maybe a little if it's truly hideous.
You know how they say weddings (or at least the planning of weddings) bring out the worst in people? Well, babies bring out the best in people. By the end of this month, our pile of hand-me-downs will include a crib, a bouncy seat, a swing, a playmat, an exersaucer, a cosleeping nest thing, a Bjorn, and a breast pump (um...ew?), plus a bunch of infant clothes. And I just got a big box of clothes from Sundry that effectively doubles my maternity wardrobe and makes me look cooler and more put-together than I actually am. (Also, having that extra pair of jeans has saved my sanity.) Other generous people have been sharing their books and store recommendations and advice (thanks, random realtor lady!), and one of my coworkers even said I could borrow (borrow?) her doula. The friend for whose baby shower we organized the onesie painting pounced on me yesterday and asked if she could plan a shower for us, onesie painting and all, and so is it any wonder that I'd like to build the world a home and furnish it with love and snow-white turtle doves and all that? If you're ever feeling a lack of faith in humanity, start telling people you're having a baby and then just sit back and watch the love flow.
Soon, I hope. Soon.
Also, I have been waiting to send your gift because I want to include a little something in it when we know for certain---girl or boy?---but the card and box to mail it in has already been purchased and that's SOMETHING, right?
I forgot to include a note in the box: that see-through dresslike thing works better as a nightgown than a trampy here-are-my-nipples evening outfit. In case you thought I was maybe INSANE, or something.
Also, YAY BABY SQUEE!
Free stuff is cool. Borrowing a breast pump isn't as gross as you might think; you just replace the parts the milk goes through ($10 or so). Frankly, I got my parts from the hospital and only had to buy tubing. Those pumps are ex-pen-sivo, and you never know if breastfeeding is going to work for you, so borrow away, sister!
Hooray for free stuff and generosity! (Sidenote: um, what's an exersaucer? Mah ignorance. Let me show you it.)
An exersaucer is a massive piece of baby furniture that magically clashes with everything you own:
http://tiny.cc/LDTb2
For some reason when you mentioned the breast pump it all seemed real. Not the sunshiney pregnancy part, but the fact that you will have a child to tend to and that we will be reading about it. I don't know why, but that made it real?
Yes, but said massive piece of clashing, neon baby furniture provides a wonderful place to put baby when you want to do things like pee or use both hands.
Here's a tip for you: When baby is big/strong enough to be in it and play but their wee legs aren't quite long enough to reach the bottom, put a folded towel under their toesies and it'll give them something to push against. Also, a folded blankie in front of their tummy helps keep them protected from flopping around like a fish in a bucket when they get so excited about the myriad of thrilling toys in front of them.
Can you tell I wedged my children in said saucer at the earliest opportunity??
Our problem is that when we get around to having baby number two, we won't actually have ANY baby stuff because we borrowed so much first time round! Luckily almost all my baby friends are well into their seconds so we can just borrow all the essentials again. I too am waiting with my little giftie, would be good to know what flavour baby you are having!
Bless you, oh carrier of spawn.
May you remember your current frame of mind when:
a) People start giving you unsolicited "expert" advice on everything from breast feeding to names.
b) Random strangers want to pat your tummy.
c) Stretch marks stop being endearing.
d) Your raging hormones are overshadowed by chronic fatigue.
These four things are also possible with an impending wedding ceremony, but will also include opinions on cakes, venues, ceremonies, vows and bridesmaid tattoos.
Have to add that unless you have the exersaucer we have, your baby will be dumber than dirt™. Let me see how many stamps I can put on it to get it to you!
And if the wombat suddenly gains a pee-pee, lemmeknow. We've got boy clothes out the wazoo.*
*Or covering a couple of wazoos at the moment.
Cool. I love lovin' like the next gal and I am super glad you're gettin' some (ha - double entendre, there. Totally unintentional).
We live a few thousand miles from both sides of our family so we started getting stuff right away. Nate is the 5th boy so we have an insane amount of clothing, in addition to all of the care packages and full on gifts that were sent. It is remarkable. The lovey feeling will probably last until the baby is about 3 months or so and the gifts start to drop off. Then it will be replaced with more love and joy, sap and goo. Stock up on thank you notes, and enjoy.
Yes, people are loverly when you are gestating. They can also annoy the heck out of you as you get further along (re: Texas' comment).
I look forward to the rant posts (They feel SO GOOD), as much as I look forward to your gushy pregnancy posts.
And you know I'm going to come bearing gifts next month right? If you have any special requests from Canada, let me know ;)