Working It
Jonna asks if they can determine the sex of the baby this early, and until last Friday night, I would have told you "no, of course not, are you stupid or something?" This erroneous belief had a lot to do with why we invited the ultrasound tech to give a looksy and make her best guess--because we thought it would be just that: a guess. Flash forward to me scouring the internet an hour after the ultrasound and oh, hey, will you look at that, baby's sex organs have visibly differentiated by 12 weeks (and I was almost 13 at the ultrasound), and so yes, you can totally tell if you look close enough and the baby is in the right position. Although I'm firmly decided that I don't want to wait to be surprised the day of the birth, I wasn't exactly frantic about finding out as soon as humanly possible, and now I feel kind of bad that (a) Simon didn't want to know at all and now he's had two experts tell him "girl" and (b) I didn't ask the tech to be more thorough because now I WANT TO KNOOOOOOW and she only really gave it a half-assed attempt.
In related news, I spread the word at work yesterday and have only had to endure three awkward hugs, one of which wasn't that awkward because my boss, he is a very huggy person, so I'm at least used to that. (Today, while I was meeting with a Very Important Author, he came in and kissed me on the head; that's just how he rolls. He also left the sweetest note on my desk this morning about maternity leave and working from home and whatever else he can do to "ensure that the baby and I both flourish," and oh man, I cried because he said he was full of "pride that [I] am reaching out to the fulness of life with such courage and manifest joy," and seriously, who says that and means it? My boss, that's who.)
Anyway, about work, my original plan was to post an ultrasound pic on the wall and let people figure it out and talk amongst themselves while I sat safely ensconced in my fortress of passive-aggressiveness behind my desk. It didn't quite go as planned (there was hugging and squeeing), but it turned out okay and now everyone knows, which was the whole point. Even though I've been dying to share the news for, what?, two months now, I actually got really stressed out about it yesterday and Simon kept calling me every half hour to ask if I'd told anyone yet and then to exhort me to get over myself and just do it already. I don't know how to explain what I was feeling except to say I was embarrassed. I've worked here for almost seven years--since I was a twenty-two-year-old infant (and also a bit of an enfant terrible)--and in that time my coworkers have seen me transform from Conservative Utah Girl to whatever it is I am now, with an engagement and a major breakup in between, and I guess I just felt a little silly to expose myself as a Pregnant Lady, a Mother, when what they know is a pigtailed, tennis-shoed grammar nazi with the goofy boyfriend who brings a portable discoball to the company Christmas party. I guess I've just always felt like I was sitting at the kids' table here, and it feels weird--weird but nice--to have everyone look at me differently now.
But can I get a hallelujah for the fact that now that the news is known, I can finally wear clothes that show off the goods? (Well, show off the belly, at least; I am finding that I now need to be creative about harnessing my growing boobs lest I get fired for sexual harrassment via accidentally poking someone in the eye with one.) (Okay, on the scale of Boobs of the World, they're not actually that big (yet); I'm merely filling out my padded B cups instead of hovering delicately within them, but still, for the first time in my life my chest is bouncing when I walk, and boy is that a trip.)
Today I'm not wearing high-waisted elastic maternity pants but some low-rise drawstring khakis I got from Old Navy over the weekend. They expand to fit based on time of day and food products ingested (currently: one giant burrito), but unfortunately they don't really stay up as well as I'd like them to. Every five minutes, I feel a breeze around my middle, the result of my pants having slid halfway down my butt and my camisole having slid up over my bellybutton. I wear the camisole as an undershirt, partially to tame the b(r)easts and partially to ensure that the white linen top I'm wearing doesn't "give it all away," if you know what I mean. The linen top, however, is only adding to the problem in that it has six-inch vertical slits up the sides--from the bottom hem up--and although I'm sure they will come in handy when my girth demands extra room, they also have the unfortunate side-effect of creating an obscene peek-a-boo of flesh in the gap between my pants and cami. Can you imagine them, the two gross triangles of exposed pasty muffintop peering out from the slit in the linen? You're welcome.
On that note, I think I need to loosen my drawstrings again to make room for some carrot cake.
I want to eat like a pregnant lady :(
Congrats on telling the coworkers (and for having the most understanding boss ever!!)
Go on have two slices of carrot cake! I hated the whole can't find suitable comfortable clothes for work stage - and would rush home and put on my pyjama pants every night
I am SO hoping that my chest area decides that it should expand with the belly area during pregnancy. If not, well, what a waste :)
One of the world's great injustices is that I every time I lose weight, my boobs shrink considerably. Yet every time I GAIN weight, my boobs do not grow disproportionately. There is some inverse law happening here, and it's grotesquely unfair. I am SO HOPING that yours stay proportionate -- or even DISproportionate, and very lush and fun for all!
Also, hot damn, I could use some carrot cake right now. Damn you, Weight Watchers! *shakes fist*
ooohh carrot cake ;)
Happy Revealing (umm... I mean revealing that you're preggers, not revealing flesh, as you might have thought) Day!
Congrats for getting the news out there! Now you can be all pregnant and glowy out in the open. I also have to admit I feel kind of special that we here on your blog knew wayyy before your work peeps! :)
ugh! maternity pants are the worst! they all do that thing and don't really stay up and you feel like everyone can see your crack all the time. the best thing is to get a few of those jersey material skirts from the soft-core porn store, er, i mean, american apparel. you're built small so i bet you can wear it under your belly for a long time and get away with just buying different (longer) shirts. congrats on telling your work!
I am living vicariously through you. Both for the carrot cake and the bouncing b(r)easts.
Sweet, sweet grainy pics of your inner alien posted below. Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
Now, I'm all for indulging a little while you can. Eat your fruits and veggies (apparently not tomatoes) and some sweets, too. But don't forget: you're not eating for "two." You're eating for one and 1/16th or so. :-)
I'm so glad that you are open about things like your b(r)easts (very funny). I don't feel so alone. I'm not pregnant but I've gained weight through the years and a good bit of it has made a home on my chest. I'm wearing a white top today, something I usually don't do, and I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm hoping that if I lose lots of weight, I'll go back to looking normal.
My son is two months old and I am still trying to find clothes that fit well. I refuse to spend more money on clothes, though, so I am cramming my a$$ into my size 8s and grumbling about my too-short (I'm an Amazon) maternity pants.
I love your ultrasound pic on the cubicle wall plan! I would totally do that if I had a cubicle. Or an ultrasound pic. Or an embryo in utero. Soon, I hope!
It is so fun to share the news! I wasnt so lucky with my work, my boss came in my office (the door was shut) without knocking and caught me barfing in my trash can at about 8:10am. I was only 5 1/2 weeks- way too early to tell, sadly I didn't even thing to say I was hung over until later that day. HA!
I've been thinking about coworkers watching you evolve recently too. I got engaged two days after I got offered my current job and it feels like my whole office is very invested in my wedding and always wants updates. If I'm still here when I get pregnant someday I feel like there will be lots of comments about "Oh, I remember when!" I kind of look forward to that.
Congrats on spreading the news!!
Clearly you have some sort of mineral deficiency, and the baby NEEDS carrot cake. If you don't eat at least two pieces with cream cheese frosting, you are setting your baby up for a life of beta carotene-less infamy. Get to it.
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