On Friends
Last night we had dinner with our friends who birthed their first child, a darling baby girl, just three months ago. These are the friends we were wary to tell about the miscarriage, afraid that things would get awkward in the chasm between their bright future and our gloomy past. I don't regret not telling them--it didn't matter much either way--but I am glad we told them that we were on the baby train, had pulled the goalie, were strapping in and buckling down for the crazy coaster of pre-parenthood, because they've been great cheerleaders since. They have been 100 percent enthusiastic for us--no "really? are you sure?"s or "when are you getting married?"s--and there's not even a hint of smugness behind the experiences they share as people who have been there and done that, just excitement that we'll soon be sharing our stories with them too. Their refrain is "You guys are going to have so much fun," and that, take note, is the perfect thing to say to any parents-to-be.
Simon first told them about our wombat while making dinner plans with them on Wednesday afternoon, and when we walked in the door Thursday night, they had a card and a gift for us--our first real baby present. My mom has already sent a big box of amazing stuff, some of which she had been saving for years, but this was the first thing given to us for this specific little being, and I felt so lucky, so loved, so flattered that not only we but also our child have two (and now three) such kind and generous people in our lives. (They gave us a sleepwear set of classic Pooh garb, and oh my lord wait until you see the tiny little hat with the tiny little Pooh ears and the tiny little topknot. My first thought was awwwwwwww! but my second thought was Labor will be a whole lot easier if the baby's head is actually small enough to fit into that miniscule beanie.)
Once upon a time not too long ago, Simon and I didn't have many friends. He tragically lost a huge, close-knit group of confidants in a breakup, and I have never been social enough to venture much outside the circle of folks I run into every day between my desk and the water cooler. Slowly, though, we've built a stable of people we can call up for dinner or a movie, and every time we've had a party in the last year, I find myself in awe and disbelief that we can not only fill a house with people but that those people are so interesting, smart, generous, and thoughtful.
At my surprise party, there was a large contingent of people I'd met over the internet, and every time I think about the friendships I've forged through this site, it kind of blows my mind. Emily and Dan flew out to California specifically for my party. That's crazy! They also brought me a birthday gift that pretty much can't be topped. And Sara, who I'd only met once before, handmade the most brilliant personalized cards, and brought enough fresh chocolate-on-chocolate cookies to last through the party and well into the next week. That same weekend, we had a great, talkative dinner with Leandra, author of the first blog I ever stumbled upon, about a million years ago. When I announced my pregnancy, two of my very favorite bloggers offered to send me their old maternity clothes, which, GAH, I don't even know how to thank them properly because GAH. Yesterday Sweetney may have proposed marriage to me over email (and I may have accepted), and of course Angella reminds me constantly that we are finally going to meet each other in person this July at BlogHer. HeatherB has been in our hot tub. I've had pizza with Moose and Holly and May. Jemima sends me fancy gourmet recipes and then helps translate them for me and my kitchen-challenged mind. This is not to mention all of the countless emails and comments I get from all of you--especially about this baby, but also about everything else--and, I don't know, maybe I'm all hormonally overemotional, but it just makes my heart swell to have so many connections after living twentysomething years thinking one (1) boyfriend and one (1) best friend would suffice for the duration.
On the one hand, it's true: am hormonally overemotional; instead of watching the t.v. I sit on the couch and gaze lovingly at Simon until he tells me to stop because I'm "being weird." Good thing I'm not on Twitter or my tweets would be an endless string of "I love you, man"s to the entire Internet. But I can't help it! I LOVE YOU, MAN!
On the other hand, though, the mushy stuff is all justified. You guys are great and it's entirely my pleasure to call you friends, and seriously, how cool is it to have a space where I can come and talk about my bloating and sciatica, and eventually my painfully engorged chest and sleep-deprived mental breakdowns?
I haven't edited my sidebar blogroll in almost three years. That's disgusting. Help me out, will you, and leave a comment here so I can add you or update you. As much as I want to show you off, I also want to share you with each other because you're too good to keep secret any longer.
Ha, you totally don't have to add or update me - makes it seem like I am commenting for that :) But! I just wanted to say that I think your story is so sweet, and if THIS is what all pregnant ladies are like (overflowing with love, etc) then maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
It is nice to have supportive people in your life both personally and blog wise. It makes a difference to have support and love from many places!!!
Cheers to cute little Pooh sleeper outfits!
Aw, sweet!
I've been a very-few-friends person for a long time and then over the past year all of a sudden - BOOM! New friends. Then I realized, hey, it's fun to have more friends. Duh.
Awwh, we love you too.
Thanks for the oh-so-sunshiney post. It gave me the warm and fuzzies :)
Also, if I keep reading your blog, I may catch baby. Classic Pooh sleepwear? Tiny head in beanie??? Too cute!
sounds like our impending nuptials are going to be BIG, what with all these friends of yours and stuff. i may have to pick up a second job just to cover our open bar expenses :)
If you need a comment to remember me, I will be hurt. :)
I got some Classic Pooh garb from my aunt for Noelle, and it is just. so. precious.
*SQUISH*
Also, that made me cry a little. Awww!
Also, I am always pleased when my friends like each other enough to make friends, too. Yay!
That post alone was enough to keep me reading new blogs for ages, I think.
I'm thrilled you have such a lot of good friends, both in real life and in other real (internet) life.
I LOVE YOU TOO, MAN!
You'd think we were drinking or something.
Which we will be, in your hot tub, with Heather B. Yours will be a virgin drink, of course. I can bring you some Canadian chocolate, though ;)
I LOVE YOU, MAN!
I think this is my first comment, but I've been lurking here forever, and I LOVE your blog and I'm so excited for you and Simon and your tiny unborn baby! :)
Hello! I have commented a few times, moreso recently since the announcement of THE WOMBAT. ( yes it MUST be capitalized b/c it's kinda a big deal.) Anyway, I have a TON and I mean TON of little baby girl clothes. This isn't ugly stuff either. SO, if you do have a girl, I can hook you up!! Seriously, I will. I'm cool like that. J/k ! :)
Leah,
I've been reading (and commenting) on your blog since right about the time you found out you were pregnant the first time. I found out I was pregnant right after you did. In a weird twist of fate, I actually had a miscarriage about two weeks after you did, too. And here I am today, and I find myself 9 weeks pregnant. Reading your blog has been a comfort as I went through the insanity that accompanies miscarriages and early pregnancy. Thank you so much for your writing!! And congrats on your wombat :)
I think your wombat is the cutest little wombat that ever did exist and I can't wait to see him/her/them (hey, you never know if Simon is actually TWICE the sneaky bastard you thought him to be...)
this penny arcade comic illustrates why i shouldn't be on twitter 'cuz i think that's all i'd twit about:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/4/23/
Awww.... Hooray for hormones! I think hormones, like age, just accentuate what you already are. For you, nice and loving and lovely. For the geezers with the canes, evil-tempered and crotchety.
We had such a great time at dinner with you guys... I'm happy to report that Simon and Leah are just as awesome in person as they seem online. Many happy baby wishes and I already know what baby shower gift I'm sending! (I was going to bring it with in May, but Eric thought it was too soon, so...) :)
Oh you should totally join Twitter! It's loads of fun. Hoping to see you at BlogHer...I think we met but just quickly. Yes, we did meet, because I remember thinking how awesome it was that Simon was there with you. Now I'll stop because I'm being weird.
I love it when the hormones make you love-drunk rather than a crying, shaky mess. It's way funner.
I feel kind of bad for commenting, like I'm all, "Oh, I love you, Leah! Also, put me up on your blogroll. Kthxbai."
But! I don't think I've commented since The Wombat was announced, and I just have to say: SQUEE! Additionally, Pooh Bear. So freakin' adorable. Your kid is going to be the most stylin' baby um, ever.
On my first ever trip to San Francisco (10 years ago, OMG), my friend and I spent AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON in the Walgreens on Powell Street reading the Winnie the Pooh greeting cards and discreetly brushing away tears because they were so sweet. GREETING CARDS! I can't imagine what we might have been like with sleep sets and tiny beanies.
The internet is awesome, isn't it? We are all very lucky.
Oh man. I was offered that first set of maternity clothes, but you beat me to the pregnancy punch. Take care of them and pass them along, will ya?
Your writing makes me happy - and hopeful that some time in the near (please) future our friends will react like that as well.
Before meeting J I was a one friend kind of girl and it still amazes me how many great people I could have missed out on had I not met him and his friends.
Love love love the mush.
Bring it ;)
Yay for friends! Actually, I still lean towards being a one-friend kind of gal, but hopefully that will change when I mosey on down to BlogHer since it is in this neck of the woods this year.
Oh, and definitely "Yay, wombat."
Shy, occasional commenter, Tanya a.k.a. sweetcheese.
As someone who doesn't have a blog (seriously I'm not a writer plus what would I write about, one very boring single lady over here!) it always makes me a little sad (and slightly jealous) that a lot of the blogs I read are people who now know each other, or of each other, and have become internet friends. I would love that!! It must be so much fun!! To have so many cool new friends. :)
I'm sorry if I sound like a downer, definitely not what I'm trying to do (see above about crap writer!) I think its great and amazing that people have a way of meeting others whom they have things in common with but wouldn't have had any form of communication with only 5 or 10 years ago.
Go the internet!!! :)
Oh also I have a canned wombat as well! He is just so cute sitting on my shelf, he was a present when I went to live in the USA (I'm Australian) a few years back, a little piece of home! :)
I'm with Elise, with the whole "you don't have to update or anything," but I've been meaning to comment for ages now. I guess I'm a wee lurker who has been reading for nearly three years. I just wanted to say that I'm so ridiculously happy for both you and Simon, and this may seem a little weird, but when I talk about you to my friends (because they totally know about my blog obsession), I talk about you both as if we've been lifelong friends who shop together, work together, and well, hang out together ALL the time. Y'all are fantabulous folks, and if I weren't living over the pond, I'd totally bring y'all a baby presie to the baby shower, and maybe crash BlogHer, because I've always wanted to to go that! :-) xxxx
Oh, I so totally remember those gushy, mushy pregnancy feelings. Such a great feeling, to be flush with excitement and joy.
The first thing I bought for my first baby was a Classic Pooh outfit, complete with wee beanie. I think there may have even been ears. Complete cuteness.
If you're looking for me while I'm at Camp A Girl and A boy, I'll be in the hot tub with a glass of champagne overlooking your beautiful garden.
Hooray for hormones and babies.
Big kisses!
You already got me hooked up, sister, but you know I send the love from the midwest! If you and the man and the wombat ever get to venture up to Milwaukee (or I could even train it to Chicago), then you've got a stalker... I mean, a tour guide. heh
Been reading you forEVER (seriously) and I'm really excited for the way things have developed for you. Great news on all ends :)
I had to break there, because I actually almost did a celebratory fist pump into the air. Thank god I live alone.
i get that way about my friends too sometimes ... aw. this was very sweet.
and the new baby outfit sounds super super cute!
"Tell me there is more" is now defunct. I can now be found at www.achievingme.blogspot.com, which is a little different what I've written before. This is my third blog, you might recall....not sure if you'll remember, but Joe and I are doing well. Coming up to our 1 year wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks, beleive it or not! Boy how time flies when you meet the love of your life from the other side of the world on the internet!
I haven't had the chance to say it yet, but congrats to you and Simon. Joe and I are very happy for you, you'll be amazing parents.
Oooh! The computer makes me nauseated so I'm grossly behind on my reading - I didn't even know you two had made it! I'm so excited for you, and glad your pregnancy doesn't seem to be going like mine do (pass the bowl, please). Can you send me your address? I'd love to send you something!!
xo!!
Pregnany hormones are awesome. You can crys and everyone you want or yell and stomp your feet at stupid shit and everyone says, "Meh, she's pregnant. Whatevs." It's funny that we have to have an excuse (PMS, near death experience, horomonal imbalance) to say nice things to people. So I'll say, in my best post-partum imbalanced way, we love you too, man!
I'm with you on the "you guys are going to have so much fun" comments. I hold to those as I get bombarded with the negative, "have fun now, because everything is going to change." I've been a long time reader but until very recently never commented. Its been really fun to witness and share in this crazy experience with a few other ladies.
Given that I met my lovely wife thru the internet, and that internet friend Simon was one of my groomsmen, internet friend QIR was one of Em's bridesmaids and internet friend Erin was our Impressive Clergyman, I've got to agree that internet friends totally rule.
I've only just started the meeting internet peoples in real life thing and so far it is teh awesome. It's been one of the best social filters for me yet! Also, three years on your blogroll, wowsers. It's been an absolute pleasure emailing back and forth!
i'm getting so heavy with child and so hormonal that i had to comment. what a sweet post. i wish i had the i love you mans, but i just got the bitchy hormones. :) hope you have a great week!
No need to add me but I wanted to comment that your post is Spot ON..... The last year has been really hard for me. Two of my blog friends totally came through for me and offered me support in ways I would have never imagined. Brit of Running Stitch, I met at BlogHer06 and Monkey in a Suit, I have not yet met in person (I have to remind myself I have not met her because I talk/email her so often! My son calls her Auntie Noo-Noo on the phone :-) Anyway, I get all smushy and teary-eyed thinking of what they have done for me the past year. I don't think they even know that, though.
My husband really got a lesson in blogging last summer after our daughter was born. I received so many thoughtful gifts from blogfriends and my husband was very impressed. He gained a new appreciation for this here bloggy thing.
Leah and Simon - I am so happy for you both!!
And the internets certainly returns every loving thought!
The internet is where its at! I live thousands of miles from anyone I care about outside of those who live under this roof. If it werent for my friends I have made online I would be so very lonely.
Something about blogging is easier than real life meetings. I do think it is chaning me, Im becoming more open and honest in my existing friendships.. but you sort of have to when you are writing about your life. I am getting much more out of it than I ever thought I would. I too am very greatful for the friendships.
Dont blogroll me, I have only just started reading you on a regular basis.. I havent earned it.
I think the connections we all make blogging are the reasons we stick around.:)
Really, you don't have to add me because I'm truly an amateur writer and no one wants to promote crappy writing. But I'll give you the site addie cause you asked and well, you have got to be one of my favorites and I gotta do what you ask, lol.
stephkneek.blogspot.com
I don't comment frequently, but I check in every day.
The pooh hats with ears are so damn cute I practically eat Dahlia's head when she's wearing them. You will LOVE seeing the wombat's head adorned in such cuteness. (especially if you've just cleaned up a lovely blow-out...as I have just done....)
Be happy you're feeling all lovey & squishy! It's a wonderful place to be!!
You are too sweet. Thanks to YOU for always commenting on my blog & such. I always get the feeling that you read as much as you write, and that gives me the warm-fuzzies.
You're one of my favorites and I can't wait to see the little baby in the little Pooh hat.
I hope you'll leave me listed as (A) Texas T-bone. it sort of makes up for having a last name that starts with "O" and having the be in the middle of everything at school. :-)
Friends are awesome, especially when they've gone through something you're going to go through. Of course, if their spawnmuffin is but three months old, they don't know a n y t h i n g. The baby's still in the honeymoon stage. Enlist some people who have toddlers or teen-agers. Not as a scare tactic, but a parent whose heart is in the right place is going to tell you there are joys, fears and surprises at any age. And it's all among the greatest blessings we're granted on earth.
Savor it! They really, really do grow up so fast.
I just got back from holiday and my desk is a gigantic mess of High Priority shite and it's raining in Vancouver and my Google Reader gave me a heart attack when I opened it this morning - but this post brought a smile to my face. Especially the "I love you, man!" bit because wow, if anyone overuses the drunk "I love you, man!" it is me. So thank you for the smile.
Man, I'm bummed about missing BlogHer this year.
(But we have many play dates to look forward to.)
You are foxy!
Wait! I get to meet you this summer? I'm so giddy I could pop.
I have been lurking a while and at the mere menttion of Pooh sleep wear, I felt compelled to comment because POOH! with ears! on the hat! I am dying at the thought of the cuteness. What a lucky wombat you are growing - 2 great parents and a Pooh hat.
Love your blog!
I've been on hiatus for a few months but come back and find out you're with child! Gah!! So exciting...I now have to go and read all of your posts and catch up.
Congratulations to you both!!!