Twenty-Nine Candles
Today is my birthday, and look what I got in the mail:
It was addressed to me, even, not to "Current Resident" or "The Special Person in Your Life with Mobility Issues," but me (albeit with my last name spelled wrong thanks to an error our homeowners' insurance company made last July, back when they sold my identity to every junk mailer in the nation AND NOW I KNOW WHO TO BLAME.)
Anyway, I know that when a woman says she's twenty-nine, that's usually code for "twenty-nine plus," but I really am twenty-nine, really!, and well, I'm insulted that I'm already getting geriatric direct mail, okay? Simon, as always, reminds me that if I hadn't turned twenty-nine today, that would mean I had died when I was twenty-eight, and he's right, but still, I can't help think that even as I live and breathe, it's all just another pace down the long road toward the inevitable: a Jazzy Rascal Scooter.
In a letter my grandma sent with my birthday card, she said it has been so hot in Salt Lake City lately that if she had a bikini, she'd strap it on and go lay on her back porch. It snowed there today, just like it did on the day I turned nine, when the temperature hit a record low of 30 degrees, but the point here is not that weather is fickle but that life is short and we should all enjoy our bikini days/years before it's too late. "Stay young as long as you can," she wrote, "because as soon as you turn eighty-one, you start to fall apart."
A person might take that as an invitation to celebrate her birthday by skydiving out of a hot air balloon into a gorge or something, but I think I'm just going to focus on relaxing rather than endangering myself in pursuit of a good cocktail story. Besides, I can't be sure but I think skydiving might be a pregnancy "don't."
Anyway, here is me at twenty-nine. Not much different from last year save that I've resorted to a haircut that covers my crow's feet. I'm not just getting older but smarter.
Happy birthday! Yay for you and all things "b"--bangs, bikinis, blogs, beats, bears, battlestar galactica!
I think you're a helluva lot prettier this year than last. I thought that last year too...
Happy birthday, my sweet dear love!
-Yer Man.
Hurray! Happy birthday, Leah!
Awww, happy birthday! Also, it's hilarious, because when I turned 30, I got something from AARP and I almost shit myself.
Happy Birthday!
Happy snappy birthday! You don't look a day over 28. Well, okay, maybe *one* day.
Happy birthday! May you get everything your little heart (and the other little heart) desires.
=)
Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy some sparkling apple juice tonight while pretending it's champagne. Here's to many more 29th birthdays.
YAY! Happy 29th!
Happy Birthday, beautiful friend!
I hope it's the best one yet :)
Happy Birthday!! Please post pictures of your cats in their party dresses and hats. -- Thanks
happiest of birthdays to you :)
Happy Birthday!
I love it when I can laugh at my junk mail. My 34-year-old husband gets invitations to hearing screenings and retirement seminars all the time. My cat gets invitations to subscribe to the Baltimore Sun, Variety, and Direct TV.
happy birthday leah!
Happy Birthday!!
I guess you won't be wanting that Jazzy Power Chair I got you for your birthday. *SIGH*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
It's my birthday today as well! So happy mutual birthday to us! May 1 rocks.
Many happy returns! (It snowed here today)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday! I've just partied for 48 hours straight in Amsterdam for you, I hope that shall suffice (also please apologise to Yer Man for me as I may have been slightly squiffy when emailing him yesterday :) )
And many more!
That is so funny you received that on your birthday! At least it wasn't for incontinence. :) Enjoy the last year of your 20's and best wishes for the year to come! Sounds like it will be an exciting one...
Actually, the last year of my twenties is officially over. I've just completed my twenty-ninth year and am now living my thirtieth. Isn't it so much worse to think about it that way?!
Happy birthday! Twenty-nine is going to be something ELSE, girlie!
oh weird, you're like the fourth person i know whose birthday is on may 1st. . . anyway, happy b-day!. . .
Happy Birthday!!!! I hope today is wonderful as well as the rest of the year and might I add, you have quite lovely skin. A strange compliment I know but I thought it was worth noting.
Happy birthday!
Is Simon making you a cake? He'd damn well better. It's one of those immutable laws in life - everyone ought to have a cake on their birthday.
THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG!
IT ISN'T VERY LONG!
(That little ditty was accompanied by a kazoo, if you were wondering.)
Happy birthday!
Happy, happy birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Happy happy birthday!
Mayday, mayday, someone's having a birthday! (Like you haven't heard that before.) Hope it's happy and romantic! And what a very sweet comment from Simon.
Happy Birthday! At least your mail wasn't AARP and all that. Or Wilfred Brimley looking up at you. Scooter Store is mild.
happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Happy Birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday, Miss Leah.
And as a belated birthday gift I will soon be booking a flight. To SFO! Actually that might end up being a really cruel gift but it's the thought that counts.
happiest of happy birthdays, leah!
Happy birthday! :)
Happy Birthday!! I know your wishes will all come true :)
Happy Birthday!
I turned 36 a month ago and the week of my birthday I got information about joining AARP in the mail. I should be so lucky to retire at 36!
29 was a good year for me. I hope it is for you as well!
Happy Birthday Leah! I hope you had a wonderful time today.
I, too, have discovered the bang trick, although it took me a little longer.
Happy birthday, lady. You're a good egg.
I was waiting for this post and the chance to wish you a happy birthday, but the time zone thing and exhaustion made me go to bed last night before you posted this. Better late than never: Tillykke med fødselsdagen! Have a great 08. 29 isn't so bad.
Happy birthday, sweetpea. May all the crow's feet earned this year be from laughing at chubby baby antics.
happy happy happy birthday!
Happy Birthday! I'll catch up to you next year- oh wait...
;)
ANYway, I hope you had a lovely one, May Day baby!
I'm a little late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had a fantastic day!!
Oh! I forgot to mention, on my 18th birthday, I got a membership eligibility letter from AARP. WTF?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope you had a great day, and I agree. If you don't do things now you might never do them, good sentiments. :)
Happy belated birthday, Leah!!
TWICE this week, we received information from funeral homes. TWICE.