April 21, 2008
Games of Chance
Simon posted his contest winners here, and although I'd asked him to please wait so we could do a joint announcement, he didn't get my emailed instructions until after he'd already posted, so now my plan is ruined. RUINED! I was also going to compile two comprehensive lists of all the song entries and all the mommyblog entries (including all those that came over email) for your convenience, but since Simon RUINED my plan and since I am also despondant over the fact that all of my pregnancy symptoms have suddenly disappeared and I am 80 percent certain I will miscarry again before the month is out (Happy Birthday to me!), I just don't feel up to it. There are some good entries there, though, so if you haven't read all the comments on those two posts, check them out.
Now here is a short photo essay showing the winner of my contest, as chosen by Linus. Congratulations!



[I'm trying not to be overly dramatic about something that my well turn out to be nothing, but if you want the honest truth, it is this: If forced to put up money either for or against the viability of December Baby, I'd say it's not looking good. Before the cramping and the bleeding that was the demise of July Baby, there was a similar abrupt cessation of my already few and mild symptoms, and now that I'm three days into feeling as normal and unpregnant as I could possibly be (save the crushing disappointment and the desire to sleep in, go to bed early, and nap in an effort to reduce the number of conscious hours spent worrying about another loss), I'm not feeling very optimistic. If I'm hopeful at all, I'm way down at the desperate end of the Hopeful Scale, and it's not a fun place to be.
The thing with (lack of) symptoms is, of course, that they either do or don't mean something significant. And, like anything else "researched" on the web, if you look hard enough, you can find evidence to support whatever crazy theory you subscribe to. Today I'm trying my best to subscribe to the theory that the loss of symptoms indicates that my body has already adjusted to the pregnancy hormones because I'm a fucking natural at this pregnancy thing--was, in fact, meant to have ten or twelve babies (to work the farm and churn the butter and form a singing group that will put the Osmonds to shame, of course)--and that all those women out there who have morning sickness and food aversion and sore boobs are amateurs and not as evolutionarily fit for procreation as I. I will sail through this pregnancy and birth a nine-pounder with nary a whimper and will get up the next day to pull the plow. Yes, that's what it all means. Give me another few hours and Google will prove it to be true.
Anyhoo, I'm going to call the gynnie today to see if they can either (a) order me another blood test to check hormone levels and/or (b) allow me an ultrasound this week instead of next. Spending a weekend feeling terrible because I don't feel terrible is a terrible way to spend a weekend, and I'd rather not despair another day (or seven) if I don't have to.]
Posted by Leah at April 21, 2008 12:51 PMHoping with all my might that your fears will not be confirmed. Totally sure you're probably just a reproductive superstar who will be re-shingling the roof three hours after giving birth.
Posted by: jive turkey at April 21, 2008 01:35 PMI'm sorry that your (lack of) symptoms have gotten you worried. Here's hoping you can look back and laugh at this entry in a couple of weeks while lamenting your inability to stay awake.
Posted by: Mandee at April 21, 2008 01:37 PMhi leah. sending you some internet hugs. it's been a rough day for me as well (bad doctor appt.) but nothing so bad as what i'm sure you're feeling right now. but i am very hopeful for you that everything will be fine. so if you're not able to feel hopeful, i will do it for you. :)
lindsey
Posted by: lindsey at April 21, 2008 01:51 PMkeeping you in my thoughts...
Posted by: alison at April 21, 2008 01:52 PMOh, Leah. Hugs and good thoughts, and hopefully good results when you see the doctor.
Posted by: Super-S at April 21, 2008 01:54 PMI also wanted to send out an internet hug. To give you a little hope, I remember having my symptoms come and go a lot in the beginning...so hopefully the sore boobs, fatigue and bloating will be back tomrrow.
Posted by: Andrea at April 21, 2008 02:01 PMhave never wished the pukes and sore boobs on anyone so hard before. i'm hoping ever hope, for you.
Well. Shit.
Thinking good thoughts for you, and hoping your suspicions are unfounded.
Posted by: Lawyerish at April 21, 2008 02:24 PMHere's hoping that you're wrong. Thinking about you.
Posted by: JennyL at April 21, 2008 02:26 PMOh dear. I hope everything's all right. (I feel myself morphing into a hand-wringing Jewish mother type. "Do you need to eat something? I think you need to eat something. HERE, TRY THIS.")
Posted by: Moose at April 21, 2008 02:29 PMI too hope everything is all right. I am thinking of you and Simon.
Posted by: She Likes Purple at April 21, 2008 02:33 PMMega finger crossing over here.
Posted by: Janssen at April 21, 2008 02:34 PMLots of my friends didn't feel very symptom-y throughout much of their pregnancies. I have my fingers crossed that you're one of those lucky ones.
Posted by: elise at April 21, 2008 02:35 PMsending good vibes your way
Posted by: sonnie at April 21, 2008 02:38 PMGood luck! Try to be as positive as you can be.
Posted by: Becky at April 21, 2008 02:50 PMOh fuck me. Here's to hoping you're incredibly, embarrassingly wrong. Well, maybe not EMBARRASSINGLY, but you get my drift. I hope against hope that you're way, way wrong.
Posted by: jonniker at April 21, 2008 02:52 PMI'm really really hoping all is well with you and December baby.
Posted by: Sarah at April 21, 2008 02:52 PMSending lots of positive thoughts your way. I hope you and your baby are well.
Posted by: Veronica at April 21, 2008 03:05 PMAw man, I hope this is just your brain fucking with you.
Posted by: Sara at April 21, 2008 03:06 PMI'm wishing terrible pregnancy symptoms on you right now.
Posted by: hillary at April 21, 2008 03:13 PMThinking about you over here. Hope they sort you out with an appointment, stat.
Posted by: Catherine at April 21, 2008 03:20 PMAll good thoughts and crossed appendages in your general direction.
((leah and simon))
Posted by: Emily at April 21, 2008 04:12 PMWhen I'm stressed out I eat and suddenly I feel the need to purchase a burrito and some cupcakes. I'm so nervous.
Here's to hoping you get morning sickness.
Posted by: Heather B. at April 21, 2008 04:19 PMYou're in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Elizabeth at April 21, 2008 04:38 PMin my thoughts!
Posted by: jeorg at April 21, 2008 05:07 PMAs my grandmother would often tell me..."Quit mind fucking yourself!"
I hope that your gyno can get you in to put your mind at rest, because "Quit mind fucking yourself" didn't always work on me.
I have my fingers crossed and am wishing a heap of debilitating nausea on you!
Posted by: TheRightWife at April 21, 2008 05:26 PMA couple things:
1. Both Linus and Simon had that paper in their mouths, and as cute as kitties are, I know where they put their mouths. However, I love RedDirtRoad so hey!
2. I too have known people with almost no symptoms whatsoever, or symptoms that show up somewhere in trimester 3. You could be just fine. Also - the internet for self-diagnosis is an evil, terrible place. Huge hugs from that one girl all the way in Wisconsin to both of you.
Posted by: angie at April 21, 2008 05:46 PMI'm keeping my fingers crossed really hard for you.
Posted by: awatersign at April 21, 2008 05:55 PMI don't know if this will help at all but I didn't have any pregnancy symptoms in my first trimester, no morning sickness, no food aversions, nothing. The only thing really was being crazy exhausted and that didn't even kick in until I was about 10-12 weeks. I really hope everything is fine and your little baby is just doing its thing, sending out waves of hormones that sometimes make you feel stuff and sometimes don't. My thoughts are with you and Simon...
Posted by: Monica at April 21, 2008 07:11 PMJoining in the crossing of everything that you are wrong and that everything will be just fine. Thinking of you....
Posted by: K at April 21, 2008 08:33 PMI am keeping my fingers crossed!
Posted by: Kim at April 21, 2008 08:44 PMWhile I would NEVER wish morning sickness on anyone, I do you!
Posted by: gorillabuns at April 21, 2008 11:17 PMAdding my good wishes ... the eyes squeezed shut and wishing really hard kind! Great things just need to happen to great people sometimes :)
Posted by: Sarah at April 22, 2008 12:32 AMI'm wishing and hoping for you! I'm so sorry that you are experiencing feelings of worry. Keep us posted!!
Posted by: Brooke at April 22, 2008 12:35 AMI remember being about 7 - 8 weeks pregnant and really wondering if I was as I certainly didn't feel it. It was a bit scary and I remember have to work really hard at not doing a pregnancy test.... and then along came week 10 and 4 weeks of feeling sick all the time but not actually being sick... So I guess I am saying that hopefully this is just what's happening to you and in a few weeks you will be wishing for the feeling of 'non-pregnant' you are having right now. fingers crossed!
Posted by: Anna at April 22, 2008 01:04 AMI found out about my pregnancy as early as you and spent the first 6 weeks or so convinced every.single.day that I was miscarrying. I had no symptoms and panicked, I got bad cramping and panicked. I monitored my body for a sign of ANYTHING that could indicate I was carrying a baby and constantly came up with nothing. I am now 17 weeks and all looks good. I am telling you this to let you know your pregnancy does not stand alone in its lack of symptoms. Hang in there, your baby is waiting for you. xo.
Posted by: Emma at April 22, 2008 03:05 AMDefinitely in my thoughts. For what it is worth, I also experienced little to no symptoms for a period of time during the 1st trimester (that scared the crap out of me both times and sent me to the ER one time, LONG story...) Hopefully the OB will get you in so you can feel more Zen about things.
Posted by: Christina at April 22, 2008 05:12 AMI didn't have a lot of pregnancy symptoms early on, and after unexplained bleeding was terrified - but it was all okay so fingers crossed for you!
Oh, but the whole sailing through pregnancy thing because of no symptoms at the beginning? Nope - once I hit around 10 weeks things started to go downhill and I have to admit to being a very lousy pregnant and labouring woman.
Posted by: trish at April 22, 2008 05:46 AMThinking good thoughts for you and sending you hugs. I'm a complete stranger to you so a hug might be creepy, but trust me that I'm not creepy and I just showered so I don't smell. Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts and a prayer just for good measure.
Posted by: heather at April 22, 2008 07:10 AMI know this is an anxious time for you and Simon, and you know we all wish the best for you.
My wife is having pregnancy symptoms and is "late," which is nearly impossible after some preventive surgery. As in her doctor said, "I actually took out a large portion of your tubes." Nearly losing my job this week (still waiting to see) doesn't make the potential timing any better.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at April 22, 2008 07:32 AMI'm hoping all is ok with you and DecemberBaby.... I'm glad you're calling the doc, and am wishing you smooth pregnant sailing through this time of doubt. Fingers crossed, wishes made, internets hugs sent, pennies thrown, salt tossed, etc.
Posted by: JennB at April 22, 2008 08:57 AMTo clarify: If I'd never had symptoms at all, I'd probably be a little more relaxed. But the fact that I had them and then lost them suddenly and completely--which is EXACTLY what happened last time--is what has me worried.
Last time around I was cool and calm about the lack of symptoms because I know it happens that way to some people. But having been down this road before and had the outcome I did...this is legitimate worry, not just me being a nervous mother.
Posted by: Leah at April 22, 2008 09:33 AMget a blood test for piece of mind. Although I am sure you are fine.
xoxox
Posted by: jenB at April 22, 2008 11:31 AMLove, love, love, love, love.
And some prayers for good fortune.
If I were a voodoo priestess, I'd be out chopping some heads off of chickens right now. But since I'm not, I'm sending along good wishes and crossed fingers.
Posted by: Alyce at April 22, 2008 03:29 PMI hope everything went okay at the doc today. I think everyone I know (including moi) has had the lack-of-symptoms worries so maybe that's just another actual symptom! Sending positive vibes your way!
Posted by: carrster at April 22, 2008 04:12 PMIs anyone (besides the obvious Leah) amazed at how nice Simon's teeth are?
[Bows] I'd like to thank Leah, Linus, Simon, Simon's teeth, and The Internet for making this all possible...
Posted by: reddirtroad at April 22, 2008 06:30 PMSo glad you're feeling more like your(pregnant)self.
Here's to baby with great teeth, perfect bangs, and complete awesomeness x2.
woo!!!
Posted by: angie at April 22, 2008 09:54 PM