April 03, 2008
Moments and Forevers
I know I haven't really said much about the completely awesome wedding weekend (aside from THE MUGGING), but if you've been reading this site for any length of time, or if you've gone back over the archives, you'll notice that at least I'm consistent in my complete failure to document major events and vacations. I didn't write anything about our three days in London in August 2006, our Thanksgiving visits to Stonehenge and Bath, our day walking around Chicago in the suffocating heat and humidity of last July. I don't use tags and categories to organize my archives, but a handy way to find an example of this phenomenon is to type into the search bar the words "more later" or "pictures coming soon." That's always the surefire guarantee that you'll never hear about a particular event again.
I know why this happens, and it's due to the same thing that keeps me from categorizing my archives and tagging my Flickr photos in the first place: I'm thorough to a fault. If I were to add tags to a Flickr photo of, say, a daisy, it would look something like this:
flower
flora
daisy
yellow
white
garden
petals
pollen
pretty
summer
favorite things
Great Gatsby
Henry James
This sort of thing comes in handy when I'm, say, compiling the yearly index of a journal on human genetics and need to anticipate all the many ways a person might search for articles on allele-specific polymerase chain reactions used to identify single-nucleotide polymorphisms (I did that for three years; what a trip), but it's usually overkill in other situations. I think the reason I have a hard time summarizing--picking out only the important things while leaving out the details that no one cares about--is that for to me the spirit is in the details. For instance, I could just say that the wedding was extraordinary and sweet and inspiring and that the food was good and the decorations adorable and the bride stunning and then I could post a picture of the happy couple doing something inane like hand-holding or mouth-closed kissing or dancing with their arms braced firmly into proper waltz position. But that's not what moves me, and it's not what makes moments special. The things I notice--and the things I want to remember--are the way groom's kilt matched his father's tie and his mother's scarf, the moment the bride's little sister's gown came undone on the dance floor and the maid of honor caught it just in time and rushed over to tie everything back together in a quadruple knot, the fact that I got a one-of-a-kind corsage (although I was not in the wedding party) that the bride had made for me using the first purple rose of the season from our garden. (While we were cutting flowers, Emily didn't know if she wanted to take the purple rose because there was only one, and I told her she should take it and put it into a corsage for someone special. I didn't think it would be me!)
That said, I won't write that more pictures and stories from the wedding are forthcoming. What I will write is that I'm still processing photos and reconstructing all those tiny, wonderful details, and in the meantime I'm going to entertain(?) you with something else. How about this: Let's talk about what Simon and I watch on TV! Because who wouldn't love that?
There will be a point to this, I swear hope, now let's see if I can get there in two four hundred 715 words or less...
Whether it's residual wedding fatigue or, for me, imagined symptoms during the TWW, lately we've been coming home too exhausted to do anything besides watch TV. We can't even put in a movie because, frankly, not only is the prospect of focusing on one storyline for two hours too much to ask, but so is getting up off the couch and walking the five feet to the DVD player to insert a disc. I don't know if this is sad or just pathetic, but it sure ain't right.
Usually when we watch TV, I fight for a show involving a makeover (be it of a person or of a room or of an entire house) and Simon fights for anything about his boyfriend, Barack Obama. Lately, however, we've come upon a compromise, and although it's not a compromise in the sense that it's middle ground between my HGTV and his MSNBC, it's at least something we both enjoy. Last night we even enjoyed it for four episodes in a row.
The show is John and Kate Plus Eight, and if you haven't heard of it, it's a reality program about John and Kate, their six-year-old twins, and their three-year-old sextuplets. I used to flip by the show because, although even I enjoy a good trainwreck from time to time, I just couldn't imagine watching that much screaming and crying and pants-pooping would make for good viewing. Oh, how wrong I was! Because in addition to the screaming and crying and pants-pooping, there's also a lot of giggling and snuggling and garbled toddlerese that has us both grinning like damn fools at the screen, and it's not a trainwreck at all but more like a circus. Or a zoo.
"How did I end up loving this show?" Simon asked last night, between the second and third episodes. (If the authorities were watching, Simon would most definitely lose Man Points, maybe even enough to put his Man License in jeopardy.) "I don't know about you, but for me it's like a live-action mommyblog. It's right up my alley." Okay, so that explains why I like the show, but what explains my continued fascinations with mommyblogs in the first place? By the end of the third episode, Simon had answered both this question and his own: John had picked up one of the sextuplets and was chomping on her neck while making hungry monster sounds, and the little one was squealing and squirming with glee. Simon let out a sigh, turned to me and said, "We are going to have so much fun."
Remembering the good stuff--that we are going to have so much fun, eventually--needs to be and remain a central part of this whole babymaking journey (even including this, our month off, to avoid the Dreaded Christmas Baby). Although it has been easy (frighteningly so) to get caught up in the temping and the Googling and the overthinking and the messageboards (trainwrecks galore!) it will serve us both to recapture the feeling that surrounded us seven months ago, back before the mechanics and technicalities took over: Holy crap, we're making a baby! It's not something I've ever taken for granted--that we would eventually have children, that our future together is inevitable (I mean, we aren't even married, for goodness sake)--but it is something I've let recede into the background from time to time, mostly because it's so easy, so natural, so right to be with him, living the life we're living and making the plans we're making, that I sometimes forget how much the very fact that we're here, together, doing this, is a marvel in itself. We are going to have so much fun, yes, but we shouldn't forget to have fun now too.
Posted by Leah at April 3, 2008 11:26 AMIf we try to compile physical memories of everything we'd end up with no time to live the content of our millions of scrapbooks. I like remembering random memories pulled from out of the blue, or sparked by some other topic of conversation.
On our recent Spring Break fling to the beach, I took a ton of photos. But there was one day I didn't take the camera. Me and the fam walked on the beach. The little one picked up shells and the big one ran around trying not to get his toes numb by the ice-cold water.
It's a day I'll never forget.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at April 3, 2008 11:37 AMLeah, Leah, Leah. You did it again. How do you do it? You never cease to awe me with your posts. You've inspired me for my month-eleven post to Mike, too. And you've just made me cry, right here at work. Between answering e-mails and creating a marketing pitches.
Thanks, you.
Posted by: She Likes Purple at April 3, 2008 12:17 PMIt is a marvel - all of it. And for that, I say "Thanks God." Great post!
Posted by: Elizabeth at April 3, 2008 12:26 PMI'm so proud of my girl for using the phrase "polymerase chain reaction" in her blog!
I'm not sure she knows exactly what PCR is, but I'm proud nonetheless that she even knows the words.
She is so smart! S-M-R-T Smart!
-Simon
Posted by: Simon at April 3, 2008 12:37 PMI can't wait to see you tonight so we can talk about mitochondrial DNA until the sun comes up! Ah, Romance!
Posted by: Leah at April 3, 2008 12:47 PMSounds like you're having lots of (geeky) fun as it is. And, for some more fun, may I recommend a middle ground tv show - Black Books - offbeat British comedy set in a bookshop!
Posted by: Catherine at April 3, 2008 01:02 PMJon & Kate are all over the blogosphere! They are great. I've been watching since the first special, but now it's even better, because there is nothing more adorable than toddler-speak. I have to say, sometimes I can get the hub to watch with me, but I don't think he would ever EVER admit to liking it. Simon is a bigger man :)
Posted by: Sarah at April 3, 2008 01:09 PMI neglected to take the month off to avoid a Christmas baby. I think it's because deep down, I am hoping that my attitude of "Oh, PLEASE - I won't get pregnant this month anyway, GOD!" will result in...a Christmas baby.
But having been a Christmas baby (well, Dec. 22), I do not wish the "one present for your birthday AND Christmas" on any kid. BOO!
Anyhoo, I caught "Jon & Kate Plus 8" the other night when the little girl was riding/freaking out about riding the pony, and dear God it was cute.
Posted by: jive turkey at April 3, 2008 02:07 PMI love this post! And you only have to look at my blog to realise that I too am terrible at recapping the big events in my life. (see my inability to finish posting my updates about our trip to London in JANUARY!) I always used to describe those random little tidbits of memory from a special event as memory bubbles where I would take a mental snapshot that would stay with me for ages. I suppose the problem lies in trying to capture those mental images with my camera and the feelings and emotions don't quite translate sometimes!
Posted by: Super Sarah at April 3, 2008 02:34 PMUm, I've promised a post about bone marrow for about 2 weeks now. Has it happened? Nope. So you're off the hook. (But I need as many Stryker wedding stories as possible! Just because.)
And I love Jon and Kate Plus 8. The 'tups are so cute! The twins are great too but Mady has issues.
Sometimes I want to shake Mady. But mostly I want to hug her because I have a feeling I was whiny like that too...
Posted by: Leah at April 3, 2008 03:51 PMJames and I have recently become addicted as well. I think he relates to the whole "IT guy has a family" thing.
Strangely, the show *has* made him want a whole gaggle of the buggers.
Posted by: helenjane at April 3, 2008 03:58 PMObama is MY boyfriend too!
Posted by: CharlieSue at April 3, 2008 03:58 PMAnd- I didn't gasp audibly (legibly?) at the muggings because, well... I'm moving back in about 4 months and I like to think of pretty shiny happy things.
Posted by: CharlieSue at April 3, 2008 04:00 PMFrom a Christmas month baby I thank you, my whole life I felt like I was being jipped. Not really because of one present for two occasions but even just to celebrate my birthday. Everyone is so busy that time of year and most of my parties were a bust, most kids were not able to make it because their parents had other Christmas parties, shopping and vacations planned.
I watch Jon and Kate also. I find it fascinating how she fits everything into one day. By the time she finishes feeding them breakfast and cleans up it's nearly time to start making lunch.
Seriously- just when I can adore Simon any more (or the two of you as a couple), you go and gross me out (WARM MY HEART!!) with the things like that.
If you two were closer there would be hugs and tears, and that'd be before I even got out of the car. You two = the cute.
Posted by: angie at April 3, 2008 05:29 PMI am the Dreaded Christmas Baby and it's not that bad. That being said, it doesn't make me thrilled to continue trying this month, for a variety of reasons, but yes, Christmas is one of them. Fleh.
Posted by: jonniker at April 3, 2008 07:35 PMI love you guys so much I don't even know how to tell you *squish*. I can't wait for your gaggle, either.
Posted by: Emily at April 3, 2008 09:28 PMOh my goodness....I've actually been *avoiding* my blog because I haven't really felt like writing about the incredibly amazing trip to Myanmar that I just took....I just don't feel like I can really do the place justice through a blog post. It also doesn't help that I wrote a "teaser" post about it being the Most Amazing Trip Ever, and that my subsequent blog posts would not leave out a single detail. Um, yeah...that was about two weeks ago and people have been e-mailing me, wondering where my blog posts are!
Well, today I will break my silence, thanks to you! You are *so* getting a shout-out today!!
Posted by: Brooke at April 4, 2008 12:17 AMRemember that time I went to Paris in November? Yeah. Never wrote about it. Even though people kept asking I never did because it is the details. You are so, so right. And I want to remember the details so perfectly that when I go back and read it again, I'm right back where I was then.
Posted by: Heather B. at April 4, 2008 07:06 AMWell said, Leah. And I agree: You smrt.
Remembering to enjoy where you are now is possibly they best thing you could ever do for yourself and the people you love.
Posted by: Moose at April 4, 2008 11:35 AMMeant to say: I need to remember to do that more often. Will bookmark post in my "Do it, yo" file.
Posted by: Moose at April 4, 2008 11:36 AMSo, so true.
Maybe that's why Mommy blogs are so fascinating, even for those of us who don't have babies yet...they remember the details, the little things that make up an exciting month (or a boring one). I'll blog about taxes or exploding stir fry, but not a word about Healdsburg or going home to eat my nieces' toes...The meaningful stuff gets forgotten.
I've got to get your opinion about this temping thing, btw. I think I'm doing it wrong.
Posted by: Jemima at April 5, 2008 06:41 AMOn this episode of Jon & Kate plus 8. I love hearing them all say it.
Yes, I DVR this show, too.
@Carl: I think Mady has issues, too. I'm always hollering across the house at JB that she needs help. Glad to see I'm not the only one.
I don't know if it's a conscious effort on the part of the producers, but I'm glad they leave out most of the references to their Christianity.
Since Lily started walking I haven't updated my blog, I'm too busy having all that fun you speak of. Once your blessed little one gets here watching J&K+8 takes on a whole new meaning to life. I swear you will utter these words "if she can do it with 8, I can do it with 1." I finally made my John sit down and actually watch it as he was ripping on Kate for being mean, he's now understands and is a fan too. :)
Posted by: Leiah at April 9, 2008 08:31 PM
