March 26, 2008
Hair Apparent
The equally dark and blurry "after":
To cut (har!) to the chase, I love my new style. It's hip and trendy without being unapproachably indie and it's actually exactly what I'd asked for during the Great Mis-Cut of '06. I am very happy.
I had the stylist cut my bangs to do the sideswept thing all the kids are raving about, but I asked her if she could also make them short enough that I could wear them straight forward for awhile too. The result is the Platonic ideal of what my dad calls "dog bangs," and yes, while I'll admit I don't look unlike a prize Afghan hound (or the lookalike mistress of an Afghan hound), I still think it looks cool. (Did I just say in so many words that I got doggy-styled at the salon and liked it? Oh yes I did!)
(Incidentally, look what image comes up when you Google "dog bangs" (with your search filter set to "safe," at least). That would be the picture She Likes Purple left in the comments last week, and the exact printout I took with me to the salon. Kismet!)
Of course, despite my anxiety about the salon and the possible too-cool-for-schoolness thereof, everything went fine and my stylist, a cute little gallery of piercings who was growing out her pink and black mohawk, was wearing a striped T-shirt similar to the one I was wearing, and that made me feel like Destiny and not Cheapness had arranged for us to meet this way. When she introduced herself--"Leah? I'm Amy"--I may have spazzed a bit and said, "OMG, we're wearing matching shirts!" in exactly the tone of voice you'd expect from an extremely nervous dweeb, but she didn't roll her eyes or run away, so that was good. I also averted a near crisis by discovering just in the nick of time that the Easter chocolate that was in my jacket pocket had melted, and also smeared all over my right palm--the palm I would use to shake the hand of the stylist just five minutes later. Luckily, I discovered the brown streaks in time to lick off what I could before I walked through the salon door, so although I did have a poo-smeared pocket, I didn't offer a poo palm for a poo shake, PHEW.
The only other thing of note was that my worst salon fear came to fruition and I not ony survived it but reveled in it. A few weeks ago, I'd heard about the whole taking-off-of-the-shirt-at-the-salon phenomenon and my first reaction was "Wha? Who does that?" Apparently lots of people. Rumor had it that some salons include a special room in which you can change out of your (designer, dry clean only) shirt and into a (100 percent silk) robe so you don't get hair all over yourself (in case it manages to penetrate the robe and the towel and the smock, I guess).
Being the ultimate low-maintenance hair customer, I was hoping I hadn't booked myself at a fancy shirt-free salon by mistake, and when Amy led me over to a door, handed me a robe, and told me there were shirt hangers inside for my convenience, I almost melted into a puddle of sweat amongst the clippings at her feet. If I take of my shirt will I feel weird? If I don't take off my shirt will I feel weird? Is it weird that I'm feeling so weird out about feeling weird?!
I ended up going into the changing room--which was not really a room so much as a closet--and throwing the (synthetic fiber) robe on over my shirt. My shirt collar was peeking out so I tried to tuck it down to look like I had dared take my shirt off, but after some amount of futzing with it, I decided to suck it up, grow a nice set of balls and, figure what the hell, why not embrace the shirtless haircut? I took the robe off, took the shirt off, hung the shirt up, and then put the robe back on, all of which meant I was in the closet just shy of the number of minutes it takes before people start getting suspicious.
(Relatedly, my ex and I invented a great moneymaking scheme involving a barbershop at which all of the stylists were topless women. We were going to call it A Little Off the Top and make millions of dollars.)
(And speaking of millions of dollars, my haircut did not cost even close to that. I got a $55 cut plus a shampoo and a blowdry/style for the special new-customer price of $28. Booya.)
More pictures on Flickr because of course as soon as I got home I tried my hair with bangs forward, bangs swooped, in a ponytail, pigtails, braids, a bun, a headband, with a cat, on a boat, with a goat...
i'm kind of curious, is the blurriness in the photo something you're doing on purpose?. . . or do you have kind of a crappy camera in addition to your rebel?. . .
Posted by: bloopy at March 26, 2008 12:16 PMI'm using the Rebel, but I'm taking the pictures in the near-dark and on a timer, which means it can't really focus on anything. I've lightened the images in Photoshop enough so you can make out basic shapes but that's the best I could do with Simon away and myself too lazy to set up the tripod.
Posted by: Leah at March 26, 2008 12:28 PMHey, very cute. I think we have the same hairstyle but mine is layerier. Yeah, I said layerier.
There is an "article" in this week's OK! Weekly or whatever about the exact bangs you got. Such a trend-setter.
Posted by: Sara at March 26, 2008 12:34 PMVERY cute bangs. And I would have been stressing about the whole topless or not issue as well.
Posted by: Janssen at March 26, 2008 12:38 PMAaaahhh. I had no idea that the no-shirt thing was indeed an established "thing" so I was shown to a (hanger-less) closet with no warning. And my weirdness lasted as long as it took for me to assure myself that I was actually supposed to remove my shirt and it wouldn't be weird if I did. Is there some sort of girl-information network I need to sign up for?!
Posted by: Tanya at March 26, 2008 12:40 PMTanya,
As I understand it, the girl information network is called "the internet," and the data packets are known as "blogs."
It's a world I venture into infrequently, but I've seen it.
-Simon
Posted by: Simon at March 26, 2008 01:00 PMMy girl information network is the Advice Smackdown at Alphamom. I now know so many things about salons and waxing and designer handbags that I could never afford/would never spent money on!
Posted by: Leah at March 26, 2008 01:01 PMCute hair! I had Reese bangs for a while and loved them. They look better on blondes though. Also glad you found something to do with your arms in the picture (thank goodness for cats!).
I can't believe you didn't know about the shirtless haircut. They are a pretty regular occurence in the LA area.
Posted by: Sarah at March 26, 2008 01:11 PMUm a) your haircut looks AWESOME. You sort of remind me of Robin Wright Penn, come to think of it. And b) I'm going to need to know the name of that hair salon next time I go under the scissors, because $28??? That is simply unheard of.
Posted by: Camels & Chocolate at March 26, 2008 01:14 PMYour bangs have a Feist-like quality which I love. You look great!
Posted by: Sara at March 26, 2008 03:12 PMThank you! That's what I've been thinking all along, but I didn't want to say anything because comparing oneself to a celebrity always seems so weird. But yes! I am Feisty!
Posted by: Leah at March 26, 2008 03:25 PMLove it!
Posted by: Super Sarah at March 26, 2008 04:05 PMDon't tell anyone this but sometimes I interrogate the writer of the Advice Smackdown because I must know why my skin/hair/mid-section is not cooperating. It's a wonderful thing.
Your hair looks divine. As always.
Posted by: Heather B. at March 26, 2008 04:49 PMVery cute!!
Posted by: awatersign at March 26, 2008 05:45 PMYour hair is just lovely!
Posted by: chirky at March 26, 2008 06:04 PM(And the bangs - the bangs do blend perfectly!)
Posted by: chirky at March 26, 2008 06:04 PMI love bangs, but I hate the maintenance--I can never cut them just right...and I must be low class, because I've never heard of this shirt phenomenon.
Posted by: Cate at March 26, 2008 06:06 PMOH! So many things are making sense now! I am JUST realizing why I was shown to a dressing room and given a gown when I went for my last haircut. I was all "what? why do I need to be in a dressing room to put on this gown? that's weird! why can't I just do it here?"
And so I went into the private dressing room, put the gown on OVER MY CLOTHES, and came out again, thinking "that was weird."
Obviously, I was supposed to take my shirt off! DUH!
Your hair looks absolutely lovely. And well done for the toplessness.
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires at March 26, 2008 07:17 PMApparently you Americans are all about the stripping. For I have never gotten naked for a haircut.
Maybe it is just the free-wheelin' California style?
Regardless, your bangs are, um, bang-on.
This from a woman who would look like an electrocuted poodle, were she to get bangs.
Posted by: Angella at March 26, 2008 08:08 PMYou look absolutely incredible. You pull off bangs better than just about anyone else. And yes! Very Feist-like.
Posted by: She Likes Purple at March 26, 2008 08:39 PMI don't know what pleases me more, your fabulous hair or the fact that I got the Green Eggs & Ham reference in the last sentence. Hello, I am nearly 27 and I have only just been introduced to Dr. Seuss's books.
Posted by: Catherine at March 27, 2008 03:09 AMI agree it must be a American thing - the taking the shirt off and putting a robe on instead - one that we Aussies would shake our head at while saying "only in America...". I could of course be called out and it may be happening here, I just may not be 'cool' enough to know about it!
Love the cut though and the bangs are very suited to you! :)
Posted by: Michelle at March 27, 2008 03:14 AMyou look fantastic - the bangs really suit you! i just got reese bangs in december and have been loving them ever since. but i'm now in the process of trying to grow my hair a little longer and get back to my natural color. basically, you look how i am trying to look.
Posted by: alison at March 27, 2008 05:31 AMWoo! So glad you're happy with your cut. Looks fab on you!
Posted by: jive turkey at March 27, 2008 06:08 AMNice 'do! (Not to be confused with dog 'do).
Shucks, only $55 regular price? My wife and I play Man's Haircut the Home Game for me so we can save up and afford her $100 hair escapades almost monthly. I don't know if she has to take her shirt off for it, but if so, I hope that they dry clean, press and rehang it before she's ready to put it back on.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at March 27, 2008 08:03 AMLove love LOVE the bangs.
Posted by: hue at March 27, 2008 08:11 AMi loved your this story about your haircut. as a person who also has the wierd social awkwardness i was laughing outloud and also thinking that i am SO GLAD other people feel this way. even about something as simple as going to a new stylist and getting a new haircut.
Posted by: gillian at March 27, 2008 09:26 AMJust joining the choir - and late, I know, but wanted to compliment the look. It is nothing short of "fantastique".
Posted by: Drew at March 27, 2008 09:27 AMYou guys are so nice. I wish I had some lollipops to hand out to the whole class.
Posted by: Leah at March 27, 2008 10:11 AMYour hair looks great!
Someone has already stolen your idea. Sort of. I don't think they're topless, but the whole idea is sort of stribar-esque haircut experience.
http://www.sexyscissors.com/
Posted by: rachel at March 27, 2008 11:21 AMI love the hair, but I have to say I miss the really artsy shots and slideshows you used to post with every entry. Do you go through the same kind of phases I do (waves of interest and then complete disinterest in photography)? Anyway, you're a great photographer, and I hope we get to see more of your stuff soon.
Posted by: chan at March 27, 2008 01:37 PMI did the same thing as Nothing But Bonfires at my last haircut. Hilarious-no wonder they gave me a look.
Posted by: monkey at March 27, 2008 02:27 PMChan--I've been taking plenty of pictures; I just don't have the time to process and post them. Also, most of them are of the cats and the garden. BORING.
Your flattery, however, has inspired me. :) We're going to be in wine country for a wedding this weekend, so I'm sure that will work too.
Posted by: Leah at March 27, 2008 04:00 PMCool haircut! It's great when you finally find a stylist you don't hate. Also Shirtless haircuts?! It's so wrong sounding!
Posted by: Leaf, probably... at March 27, 2008 05:44 PMA Little Off the Top? Brilliant.
And the new bangs are equally so. You look faboo!
Your hair looks fabulous, chicka. I love the new cut!
Posted by: reddirtroad at March 28, 2008 07:25 AMThis post has a Sopranos feel to it, which is funny since I recall that you don't care for it. To wit, "hair apparent" is uttered by Christopher in like episode 21, when he truly means heir, and then the whole topless barber shop? Taking Bada Bing to new levels!
On a more serious note, yes, good hair.
Oh, and -- I always, always, always need instructions with gown type things. I was once given a gown and wore it like a cape when I was supposed to wrap it under my arms like a towel, and once I did something so embarrassing with my gown at the OB/GYN that I've blocked it out entirely. So, no worries about the shirtless thing in my book. Go to the head of the class!
Posted by: Linda at March 28, 2008 08:44 PMIt looks great!!
Posted by: Chris at March 29, 2008 06:55 PM
