March 13, 2008
Down to There
To conclude this week's network-grade miniseries drama of miniscule proportions: Dinner with the new baby and her parents last night was fine. At one point they asked if we were still committed to having a shrimp or two of our own, and when we replied in the affirmative, their response was a sincere "How exciting!"
How...appropriate!
And, if you can believe our good fortune, we didn't have to put up with any of the smug know-it-allness that so often sneaks into parent-vs.-nonparent conversations. Instead of saying things like "You won't understand until you have one of your own" or "You just wait..." (accompanied with an evil gleam in the eye), they said, "Oh, you have so much to look forward to!" I wanted to hug and kiss everyone on the mouth in that moment because wow, that's the best thing I think anyone could possibly have said--to me or to anyone at all.
One person I didn't kiss on the mouth, however, was the baby, who, ten minutes into our visit, emptied the contents of her stomach in two violent hurls while Simon was holding her. By some miracle, she drenched herself in puke but not a drop touched Simon, and when I realized that he had emerged clean as a whistle I was reminded of every time I've been at an amusement park with my family and when we get off the water ride and asses the level of our individual dampness we discover that I, my brother, and my mom are entirely soaked--our underwear showing through our khaki tourist shorts, our hair like wigs made of drowned rats--while my father has to conduct a thorough search for that solitary drop of water that has managed to break through his nearly impenetrable bubble of aesthetic perfection and mar his clothing--perhaps a shoulder, perhaps a sock--so that he can blow on the wet spot for ten seconds, until it is dry.
To balance the universe, I give you my father as a be-stogied captain and his wife (my mother), a gangsta with her own bling.
***
Now, can we talk about my hair?
My hair is a mess. I wake up in the morning drowning in the clutches of silky blonde kelp. My hair hangs down to about an inch above my elbows and the ends are frayed and fried. The last cut I had was in August. OF 2006. That's a year and a half, people, which is a long time, even for me, enthusiast of the Annual Birthday Haircut.
Although my birthday is still a few months off, I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks, and I think that calls for some attention to my appearance, especially considering that I won't be the only photographer at this wedding so I just might actually be in some photos for once. If at all possible, I would like for Emily and Dan to look at their album fifty years from now and remember me as That Stylish Girl from the Internet instead of The Hippy who Leaned Over Too Far and Dunked Her Long Hippy Hair in the Lemonade.
Being of a certain age, I think it's time to get an actual style, at an actual salon, paid for by actual bills in denominations more than 10 and 1. I once spent $50 on a haircut, but I wasn't all that pleased with the experience, so it's been back to the $12 stripmall clip for me ever since and that's fine it shows. I mean, it's not like my hair is hard to cut: it only does one thing (hang), and I usually don't even have any product in it, so a salon shampoo is unnecessary. All I need is someone who can perform a straight horizontal line, and that is not worth $50 by a long shot, am I right? Perhaps if there were free pie and I could sit in a baberchair shaped like a unicorn I would consider paying a little more. Does anyone know a salon that serves pie and has unicorns?
The cheapest haircut I've ever had was when I went to Great Clips during what happened to be Locks of Love Week or something, and I just so happened to be chopping off about ten inches of hair, so I got the cut for free! I was so shocked about the whole free thing that I just wandered out of the salon in a sort of a daze and only realized an hour later that I hadn't even tipped the stylist. (This may have something to do with why I'm afraid to go back to that particular place for the $12 special. Surely that have something in their computer that identifies me as a non-tipper and they will take it out on me in the form of an asymmetrical Posh bob. DO NOT WANT.) For now, at least, I am willing to not only tip but also pay for an actual style (and possibly a shampoo) at a place that doesn't advertise a two-for-one special on the sandwich board outside the front door.
For those of you who have been coming here for a while, you might remember the last time I asked what I should do with my hair. I got all manner of wonderful advice and suggestions and then...did nothing about it. This time is different, I swear! Help me, Internet; you're my only hope! What in the sam hell should I do with my hair?! (Links to pictures particularly appreciated.)
(I have fine hair but lots of it. It's perfectly straight except for some weird curls that pop up around my temples when it rains. I have a bit of a cowlick in front that makes bangs a challenge although I've managed before. (Simon doesn't like bangs but I do.) It breaks easily and doesn't hold product (hairspray, mousse, gel) well, so it needs to be a style that stands on its own. I need to be able to pull my hair off my face while I'm working. I'm a fan of simple and understated cuts. Do not suggest anything too indie. And make that pie a cherry, please.)
(I just uploaded two photos to Flickr that show my last hair cut. I liked the bangs, but I hated having to deal with them every day, and after six weeks they were too long. I am impossible.)
Posted by Leah at March 13, 2008 11:36 AMOk, I thought I was weird because I haven't had a haircut in a year. Yay to read someone far cooler than me has gone even longer. I'm holding off until the fall when..hold my hand...I get to be a Whoorl Hair Thursday Girl! I know! It's worth waiting for, right? Even though my hair is past my shoulders. And I live in the deep south. And it'll be a long, hot summer. Oh, dear. (looking forward to fall, looking forward to fabulous hair.) I bet Whoorl will hook you up with a hot style and great advice just because she's cool like that. (minor suck uppage, hoping to get my thursday moved up a few months. hee.) I haven't answered your question at all. I suck.
Posted by: heather at March 13, 2008 12:25 PMWord on the street is that Whoorl is booked up until October of 2009. There is NO WAY I can wait that long. If I were smart, though, I'd sign up now so I can Whoorlify my next next haircut!
Posted by: Leah at March 13, 2008 12:33 PMI have similar hair - fine, but lots of it - and the best thing I ever did was suck it up and pay a lot for this muffler. I found a chick who really GOT my hair, knew just the right ways to thin it out (invisibly) to give me more body, and also gave me some long-ish bangs that are there when I want them, but can be tucked back when I don't.
Spending more than $15 or so used to really bug me until I finally just accepted that I LIKED going somewhere fancy and spending an hour or so reading trashy magazines while someone made me look pretty. And it's not like I do it every week, so...what the heck. Go treat yourself. Even if you just get a trim, you'll feel pampered and fancy.
ANYWAY. My suggestions: thinning it out a bit for body, long bangs, and/or some long layers towards the front to mix it up a little.
Posted by: jive turkey at March 13, 2008 12:36 PMWhat Jive said. I'm thinking Reese Witherspoon post divorce - so just below shoulder length. Added bonus: a side sweepy fringe is the best thing for hiding a cowlick!
Posted by: Catherine at March 13, 2008 12:42 PMThe concept that thinning my hair might actually give it more body is blowing my mind.
Posted by: Leah at March 13, 2008 12:46 PMOh I have fine hair but not a ton of it and I too get those funky curls on my temple in the rain as well. Weee... I just wrote about this same thing today too. I used to love the whole pay $100 bucks for the salon experience but recently I have hated it. My hairdresser left and so I am just trudging along with terrible hair... The last hair cut I had was November 2007 so it is NOT that bad but it is bad... I will be checking back here for the advise your offered!
Posted by: Christina at March 13, 2008 01:06 PMWhat Jive said. I also have straight, fine, thick hair with a little waviness in the back - so hard to manage.
I've been going to an Aveda salon, and I just had my hair cut to my shoulders with long bangs, long layers in the back and thinned out all over. Best haircut ever.
I also am enjoying Aveda's Phomollient which is a super-light-weight foam that actually gives my hair some volume. Their Brilliant Shine Serum is my new favorite, though. Lots of shine, no weight, and fewer fly-aways.
Posted by: Knighton at March 13, 2008 01:29 PMYou would ROCK Reese's haircut, and gosh it's a gorgeous one.
Perhaps lighter on the bangs if they're going to give you headaches.
Yes, yes, get the Reese! She seems to have about your hair texture so it will probably look similar on you. I think doing the bangs like hers would look great, but you could always go with bangs swept to the side or just, a lighter amount of bangs. I too have the awkward cowlick, on both sides of my forehead even. I have a light layer of bangs and the cowlicks actually seem beneficial - keeps the bangs sort of light and airy with no product instead of going limp and flat on my forehead (which I know is a problem with bangs for a lot of people).
Posted by: sjb at March 13, 2008 01:50 PMI am hair illiterate. Case in point- my head.
Wishing you luck with yours!
Oh yes, I wrote about my most recent hair cut on my blog before we went to London in January. Before that I had cut my hair twice in like 6 years. Shocking! My hair is dead straight but very thick so curls up at the ends when its shorter which I kind of like. Your hair is so smooth and shiny looking, I think graduated bangs and more layers through the back but keep it longer as its really beautiful!
Posted by: Super Sarah at March 13, 2008 06:28 PMA free pie or a barber chair shaped like a unicorn - lol! I totally get what you mean.
Posted by: Kass at March 13, 2008 06:55 PMConsidering that I am the exact OPPOSITE of you when it comes to hair, I have no advice.
I think Reese is pretty cute, as are you, so that might be your best bet ;)
Posted by: Angella at March 13, 2008 08:38 PMI'm jealous of your hair. I have too thick, too wavy hair. I've always envied chicks with straight hair because I've always wanted a straight bob, a little longer than chin length, which I think you would rock. That's my 2 cents.
Posted by: lainey at March 14, 2008 09:31 AMOoooo, PIE. That would be GREAT in a salon! If it came with ice cream. DOUBLE ice cream. In the SHAPE of a unicorn.
Posted by: Swistle at March 14, 2008 01:13 PMYour hair is way too gorgeous to do anything drastic to it. I agree the Reese would suit you well. Part of what makes hers different than just straight long hair is that she has very light long layers cut into the length for shape. That's likely the "thinning" people are referring to.
Posted by: Rachel at March 14, 2008 01:26 PMHow short are you willing to go?
There's Gwyneth Paltrow's pixie cut from way back when:
http://tinyurl.com/2qd3x3
And I liked Julia Stile's bob in the Bourne movies:
http://tinyurl.com/3d2bg2 (not the best pic)
And another cute short Julia Stiles cut:
http://tinyurl.com/39dwk2
Posted by: awatersign at March 14, 2008 02:31 PMSo to sum up, this post was about:
Good things to say to people who want kids.*
Strange Photoshop techniques involving clip art and your unsuspecting parents.
Something about hair.
*It's not real brilliant, but I usually say something like, "Having kids is the second-best thing I've ever done."**
**Best thing: Double-stuff Oreos.***
***I mean, "getting married."
Posted by: Texas T-bone at March 14, 2008 02:45 PMT-bone--That wasn't Photoshop but a feature of my parents' webcam. You select the accessories and they actually move with your head. It's trippy. Especially when they put on the moose antlers.
Posted by: Leah at March 14, 2008 02:59 PMI don't have any insight on WHAT you should do to your hair (I like it the way it is! So long and pretty!) but I do have a suggestion for WHERE you should have it done: Jubilee on California and Larkin. I would marry that woman (her name actually IS Jubilee -- how cool is that?) if it were legal. The icing on the cake: she came highly recommended by Wood, and you know how great HER hair always looks. She's pricey, but it's worth it; and you don't have to go back for a while. Plus, right across the street from her is a British food shop called You Say Tomato (otherwise known as my second home), where you can stock up on all manner of Cadbury-related goodies if it all goes horribly wrong. (Which is won't, of course, but buy some Jaffa Cakes anyway.)
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires at March 15, 2008 08:49 AMI don't have any hair style advice, but I will recommend Peter Thomas Hair Salon in Berkeley, as a good place to go if you decide to throw down the big bucks for a haircut. I go to Jesse and I love him!
Good luck!
