February 20, 2008
Wax On, Wax Off (HA!)
So, wait...All you non-waxers out there? Where have you been?! I thought I was the only one left! I felt that at my age I was waaaay past the standard bikini wax window, much in the same way I'd missed the ear piercing window and the orthodontic braces window when I didn't take advantage of those "enhancements" at the same time as my peers. Going in to get braces or a first ear piercing at twelve years old is one thing, but going at twenty-eight and three-quarters is another, don't you agree? I remember being a junior or senior in college and sitting at a big table at the Village Inn on 4th South at 2 in the morning and realizing I was the only one of my friends without any piercings. Going around the table, there were punctured ears and tongues and noses and nipples in the bunch--all of them on boys, no less--and then there was me, just plain Sandra Dee. Oh well, I thought. It's definitely too late to do anything about that now.
Of course, that's not the truth--if I really wanted something done, I'd get over myself and just go do it, which is exactly how the whole waxing thing came about. Spa date + cheap waxing services + now-or-never mentality = me spread eagle on a table while a round little abuela tells me about how she's totally addicted to waxing and still gets hers done regularly. Perhaps that's why it wasn't so bad? Because my technician was a grandmotherly type instead of the twenty-two-year-old OC Barbie Doll bush stylist I was expecting? Actually, the process itself wasn't that big of a deal save all the precious moments I invested in worrying about it beforehand. It certainly wasn't everything I thought it would be, and that means both the bad and the good--it wasn't that embarrassing, it wasn't that excruciating, and, frankly, it wasn't that much better than the alternatives. (I cannot for the life of me understand armpit and leg waxing when a good old safety razor can do the job.)
So was it worth it? Yes and no. At the risk of TMI, I thought it would be a fun V Day gift (that's V for Valentine, not for Vagina), and I was right.
Simon is always really hard to buy gifts for because I'm never sure what will be a hit and what a miss, but somehow I knew he'd get a kick out of a surprise de-pelting (AND THIS IS WHERE WE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BEFORE THINGS GET OUT OF HAND). Overall, Simon is easy to please and his interests and tastes are varied, but while that might make it seem like he would be a breeze to shop for, it's actually just the opposite. Sometimes I wish he was really interested in only one or two simple things--say, golf and porcelain collectibles--and that anything having to do with either of those two simple things would make his day, but no, he's into guitars and woodworking and politics--none of which I know (or care to know) anything about--and that's not to mention all the random things that catch his eye whenever we go out. Take, for instance, these recent purchases at the Orange County Swap Meet:
Biker belt buckle. Enormous spectacles. Does not compute.
Three weeks late I finally gave him one of his birthday presents: Obama's memoir, Dreams from My Father. Although I've regretted the gift every time he has non-sequitured into a conversation with, "Barack also wants burritos for dinner" or "What would Barack do?", or used the phrase "my little Barack star" *barf*, I'm also glad that I was able to find something that would bring him so much happiness and yet required so little effort on my part. For now at least, the Amazon.com check-out process is still pleasantly devoid of hot wax and one-size-fits-most disposable paper underwear.
Wow, disposable paper underwear? CLEARLY I've underestimated the whole waxing phenomenon!
Posted by: Emily at February 20, 2008 03:31 PMWell, in my case I spent about ten years being miserable shaving (I have super-duper sensitive skin) and would be smooth and rashy for a few days, then stubbly and pain-free until I shaved again. I got to the point where I was using a new blade every time
(spendy!), had spent umpteen amounts of money on various shaving creams and gels and unguents, and still ended up being miserable for two or three days every time I shaved (it runs in my family, little sister has the same problem). I helped wax a friend's
legs when I was about 22 and realized the process was not that difficult, so I tried it on myself and haven't looked back (yes, I wax legs and bikini area).
My parts are hair-free for weeks and when it grows back in it is sparser, lighter in color, and I don't get ingrowns like I used to. And it only hurts for a few minutes, not for three days.
I still shave my pits because for some reason the skin there isn't nearly so sensitive.
Also, it's never too late for piercing. My grandmother went on a trip to Ireland with her sisters when she was 83 years old and they made her get her ears pierced on the trip, and she loves wearing non-clipon earrings now.
Posted by: Emily at February 20, 2008 03:36 PMFor sensitive skin folks, waxing and "good old safety razor" do not do the same job...at all.
Posted by: Sarah at February 20, 2008 04:13 PMI'm afraid to wax. I have such a low pain tolerance. I'm a wimp. It's awful. But I see the benefits, I just can't force myself to go through with it.
Posted by: Cari at February 20, 2008 05:01 PMI doubt i'll ever do the whole waxing thing (at least not at a spa/salon) . . . .I'm too shy about baring myself like that.
And if Simon hasn't found this little gem yet: barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com/
Posted by: Janssen at February 20, 2008 06:00 PMI think our boys would get along. G. just finished "The Audacity of Hope" which was one of my Christmas gifts to him. He's also really hard to shop for but I knew he'd like that and happily I was right. :)
I got him XM radio one year for his birthday and he said it was his favorite gift EVER, and since then I've had major anxiety when it comes to buying him stuff since I feel that nothing can measure up. Fun!
Posted by: lindsey at February 20, 2008 06:48 PMThis was kind of a crotch-themed post! With the talk of the waxing and the picture of Simon's belt buckle and all. Look at me, an English major to the core: always trying to pick a theme and a motif out of a narrative.
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires at February 20, 2008 06:58 PMHmm... I think you may have inspired me. I have never gotten waxed, but always thought about it. Personally I shave weekly, and use the Trader Joe's honey mango shave cream. (try it!!) I think that it is the growing out before you wax that I don't think I'd be able to do. If I do, It will have to be the brazillian. Go big or go home!!!
Posted by: Lisa at February 20, 2008 08:38 PMFrom someone who just got waxed up the wazoo (Literally, in addition to figuratively), congrats on crossing over to the wax side.
(Your title made me giggle, because I Twittered "Wax On, Wax Off" as I left fo)r the spa. Cannot wait to come visit in July!
Posted by: Angella at February 20, 2008 09:24 PMOkay, I have a story about a Brazilian bikini wax that's really not fit for print. But let's just say I have two words for everyone out there: test patch. You don't want to find out you have a SEVERE allergic reaction after the fact/wax.
I actually made my fiance an entire Barack-themed valentine. I joke that he has a man crush but lately I've begun to wonder if it's something more...
Posted by: May at February 20, 2008 10:17 PMI think you've inspired me, too, as did Emily's information about her sensitive skin. Thank you! I never knew there was hope! Also, I'm sure I'm not alone, but every single time I see TMI, I confuse it with TMJ for a good three or four seconds, so it creates confusion. Why is the risk of TMJ so prevalent in casual conversation? :)
Posted by: Linda at February 20, 2008 10:18 PMI must be sensitive because my gawd the pain and could I claw the girl's eyes out who was overtly chirpy & way too excited about her job who gave me the SUBSEQUENT WORST RAZOR FEELING BURN BUT WORSE THEN RAZOR BURN EVER?!?!? Maybe she was just the wrong person and if I went else where it would be better but thanks I will pass ;)
Posted by: Christina at February 21, 2008 06:57 AMI just don't like the idea of the hot wax and the tearing out of the hair. I can't even take off a god damn bandaid without wanting to die.
You, however, are a great and selfless gift-giver.
Posted by: Jess at February 21, 2008 07:42 AMI didn't get my first bikini wax until last year, age 26/almost 27. Mainly I waited so long because I'm cheap, but also because I was afraid of the pain...although of course, it wasn't that bad. Not nearly as bad as the menstrual cramps I'm experiencing this morning!
Posted by: Carrie at February 21, 2008 08:53 AMOh, WAXING! I will do it until the day I die. I've been going Brazilian for the past 10 years and I love it. LOVE IT. Anyway, there's a ton of really great kits out there for waxing. One in particular (um, if anyone's interested) is by Parisa, it's a sugar wax kit. The sugar wax thing is MUCH better for your skin and best of all, it rinses off easily. There's nothing quite like picking wax off your nether regions for a week...
Posted by: Nikki at February 21, 2008 12:26 PMI'm 33 and I've never had a wax. I use an Intuition razor with the
sensitive skin cartridges, and I don't get the bumpy itchiness I used to. I do have to use a new cartridge every time I do my legs (once a week), but I use the same one toshave my pits the following week. I don't shave my bikini area because the Intuition is not very agile, and I get all red and bumpy and itchy there when I do. Hubby gets out his trimmer and just trims it really close. That works for us.
