January 02, 2008
Second Verse, Same as the First
New Years Eve went like this: Watched REM and Grandmaster Flash get inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, complained about how old everyone looks in high-def, had last champagne of 2007, saw the ball drop, complained about how old everyone looks in high-def, ran upstairs and caught the SF fireworks from our sunroom (now the sewing room!), had first champagne of 2008, watched "Cathouse: The Musical" (it was, as they say in the Midwest, "different" and "interesting"), and then complained about how old everyone looks in high-def/in 2008.
PARTY ON.
And now I am back at work, bemoaning how much this year looks like last year: elevator out of service again and nary a fork in the whole office with which to eat my lunch. (I can usually make a spoon work for whatever I'm eating, but it doesn't really fly with salad and grilled chicken, sirs and madams of the board.)
***
It is now 4 p.m., and this entry was originally started sometime around 2, and my explanation for the lapse can only be explained by the fact that I have been trying to think of something interesting and useful to say on this, the advent of the great '08, but instead I have been distracted and jelly-brained and, when not working, Googling. Again. About that whole thing. The baby thing.
My doc told us to wait three cycles, but whatEVER. I've been waiting my whole life, lady. Contrary to what you might think, three more cycles is not just a mere drop in the vast ocean that is my impatience but instead it is yet another chasm of unmeasurable span and depth between this side and that, and if you think I'm waiting one more second, you're crazy. (If I conceive and miscarry again within those three months, I'll have only myself to blame, and I'm okay with that.)
Anyhow, I didn't think I could get pregnant until I'd had my period again, but then, wow, would you look at that, Google reveals thread upon thread of the (mostly illiterate) messageboarders squeeing over how they got pregnant just two weeks after their miscarriages, with no period in between. So that + unprotected sex + going on five or six days now of the most noticable symptom from last time around (the feeling that someone is squeezing my throat, pushing back hard on my Adam's apple), not to mention a few more little out-of-the-ordinarinesses in the way certain things look and feel and taste, and I'm starting to wonder. And Google (v.). And freak out, because if I wasn't paranoid about this stuff before, boy howdy, I sure as hell am now.
And gosh, as elated as I'd be if I were in the "condition" I sometimes kinda sorta suspect/believe wholeheartedly that I am, I'm also in some major denial, which I think I can safely attribute to my not wanting to get my hopes up and be disappointed again. And so I still drink champagne (but maybe only one glass) and I still lounge in the hot tub (but maybe for only twenty minutes and at a decreased temp) and I still feel like cookies is an apporpriate meal. But I also still bought a three-pack of HPTs on our last trip to the grocery store, so there's that. Come stand outside my bathroom door on Saturday morning (or early afternoon) and you'll be among the first to hear the results. Queue forms behind Simon, if you don't mind.
Back tomorrow with noticeably less talk of menstruation, fingers crossed.
Posted by Leah at January 2, 2008 04:25 PMHappy New Year! And I'm looking older in standard def too. Please keep me posted if there's any new developments.
Posted by: will at January 2, 2008 04:35 PMCookies are an appropriate meal whatever your condition... as for the queue I suggest Simon instogates a game of chinese whispers regarding the outcome. 'Leah is/is not pregnant " could easily turn into something much more hilarious!!
Posted by: Anna at January 2, 2008 04:35 PMGood luck, Leah! Fingers and toes crossed for you and Simon!
Posted by: Camels & Chocolate at January 2, 2008 06:47 PMOh I'm just hoping with all my might for you both.
Posted by: She Likes Purple at January 2, 2008 07:15 PM*claims a spot in line*
Meaning, will be checking my RSS feeds religiously tomorrow. Wait. Tomorrow's Thursday. Drat.
my advice is to avoid the message boards. eventually the infertility ones made me unstable and homicidal towards other people.
feel free to ignore though. :-)
loving you
jen
Posted by: jenB at January 2, 2008 07:40 PMYou're hilarious. Happy 2008.
Posted by: Elizabeth at January 2, 2008 08:41 PMSo all day I have had the "squeezing my throat, pushing back hard on my Adam's apple" feeling, which I was attributing to massive alcohol consumption 2 nights ago. Now? Now I am freaking out. Thanks for that :)
High-def is especially entertaining when watching soap operas (not that I watch soap operas ... crap.) You can see where the facelifts end and the neck-jiggle starts. It's good for the self-esteem, I find.
Think you'll be able to wait until Saturday? I don't think I would, with those three HPT in the house.
Here's a little virtual hug and my fingers are crossed for you!
Posted by: Assertagirl at January 3, 2008 05:58 AMSo, um, you'll be posting on Saturday, right? Right?? Because, um, I will TOTALLY BE CHECKING INCESSANTLY ON SATURDAY.
Everything is crossed for you two. Even things I bet you didn't even know could be crossed.
Posted by: Clink at January 3, 2008 07:33 AMUnrelated note: Tom Jones didn't become famous for "What's New Pussycat", he was already famous for "It's Not Unusual" by the time Pussycat was released.
Posted by: will at January 3, 2008 08:52 AMGood luck!! We tried for three months before getting pregnant, and by month three I was all in that totally believing/not wanting to get my hopes up mentality. The only symptom I had was sore boobs that didn't go away after ovulation.
Posted by: Brooke at January 3, 2008 09:49 AMGood luck to you guys... that would be a wonderful way to start the year.
Posted by: JennB at January 3, 2008 09:49 AMI find out NEXT Saturday (the 12th)...I'm keeping my fingers crossed that at least ONE of us has good news :)
Of course, I am already reading into the fact that I've felt like gagging for the past 3 days...
Posted by: jive turkey at January 3, 2008 11:17 AMAssertagirl--I know, right? But there's a consequence to testing early--negative results. See also: December 24 and January 1. (How fun would it have been to find out on a holiday? I don't know, but go ask Amanda because she does. (Baby stealer!)
Posted by: Leah at January 3, 2008 11:19 AMBaby stealer? Ouch. :)
Don't worry, I won't try to steal it back. I'm classy like that.
Posted by: Leah at January 3, 2008 12:40 PMMy doctor only told me to wait ONE cycle after I miscarried, and Graham was conceived after that first cycle.
If you ARE pregnant right now? I will be jumping up and down and clapping my hands.
Squeee!
Posted by: Angella at January 3, 2008 01:27 PMThere's nothing like those message boards to remind you what a civilized bunch us bloggers are...
Between the all caps and the misinformation, my head, my head it swims.
Posted by: Helen Jane at January 3, 2008 01:36 PMP.S. My favorite thing about hi def is that it makes me feel better about getting older. Plus, the stretch marks on the Tudors! Awesome!
Posted by: Helen Jane at January 3, 2008 01:37 PMgo leah go! on pins and needles for you!
Posted by: lindsey at January 3, 2008 06:03 PMSo exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Posted by: awatersign at January 3, 2008 08:27 PMFingers firmly crossed. And I never want to see myself in hi-def.
Posted by: Chris Cactus at January 4, 2008 05:46 AMSaturday is tomorrow - but there's an 8 hour time difference so I'll probably have to check back on Sunday...
I spent August checking pregnancy tests too early and felt like a fool for wasting £20. But then in October I tested early, got my positive, and was over the moon. Fingers crossed for you, if not this cycle then next!
Posted by: trish at January 4, 2008 08:42 AMHow about I send my 5-year-old to live with you two for a few weeks. If you found out what they turn into a few years after being babies, you might have second thoughts.
Well, probably not. Can he come live with you for a while anyway? We need a break!
Posted by: Texas T-bone at January 4, 2008 12:23 PMNot only can you get pregnant right after a miscarriage, you can get pregnant at all sorts of other fun times. For example, you can get pregnant while being on the pill. Of course, I had just gotten back on the pill after a 6 month break, and I was at the end of my 2nd pack when I discovered that I was with child. Here I am, 8 weeks later, having had WAY too much to drink during November/December, and I find myself 8 weeks pregnant.
Yes, there certainly are quite a few interesting times when you can get pregnant when you wouldn't think you could get pregnant.
I'm crossing my fingers for you!! :)
Posted by: TheRIghtWife at January 4, 2008 03:13 PMhappy new year. Try not to look at any mirrors, to avoid the realization that you are older.
Posted by: cr at January 5, 2008 10:19 AMHave you had your thyroid checked lately? I'm concerned about that throat feeling.
