December 18, 2007
'Tis a Gift to Be Simple
While in England, Simon and I spent one afternoon strolling The Niece around the town of Chipping Norton, which, if the signs are to be believed, is the Gateway to the Costwolds and, if the internet is to be believed, is the "social G-spot" of Oxfordshire. One of our detours was to a charity shop (i.e., thrift store) whose front window featured a magnificent coat of dark, floor-length denim and a shaggy fur collar--think Phoebe Buffay circa 1995. Funky and yet chic, and unique as only thrift finds are, it was the sort of thing Simon's sister would either love or hate, and so he bought it for her, £12, on the condition that he could bring it back if she hated it. Turns out she hated it it wasn't quite right, and so the next day we took it back only to find that, voila, an identical coat was displayed in the storefront exactly where the other had been. So much for unique. The only way this episode could have gone more wrong is if the woman who had been eyeing Simon's coat--the one he'd taken off and hung on a rack in the charity shop so he could try on the denim/fur ensemble for himself--had offered a price satisfactory to the cashier and carried it off, leaving Simon sans outerwear, in November, at the 51st parallel.
***
We went out for Sunday brunch last weekend with some friends who recently took the big leap from datinghood to living-with-each-otherhood. This is, I think, their first Christmas together, and while we were still in the restaurant, publicly commenting on what we had just consumed (*burp*) and privately contemplating the clientele and, relatedly, how old is too old to take hipster fashion that seriously (me: twenty-two if you're still in college, but only then), the girl half of the couple ordered the boy half of the couple to go stand in a corner so she could privately quiz me and Simon* on Christmas gifting etiquette and technique. As if several years of practice meant we knew jack about it. Ha.
Simon swore up and down to her that I'm a genius gift-giver, but the only explanation for that false memory is that perhaps one year I gave him a sprinkle of Forgetting Dust that henceforth rendered him unable to remember my shoddy gifting skills. The concertina and glockenspiel of two Christmases ago were particularly memorable, yes, but then when was the last time he actually used them? (Although, similarly, the bikes he bought us that same year were bloody brilliant, and when was the last time we used those? Hrm.)
In my experience, some people are just inspired gift-givers and the rest of us aren't. Being part of the latter group, I can say with authority that it is damn near impossible to buy something for a member of the former group, and even worse if it's your Number One--in my case, Simon. The largest percentage of my gift-buying anxiety is that I'm not content to buy him (or anyone else, for that matter) something innocuous--gloves, a CD--but must instead conjure the Gift of All Gifts, the thing that will make him say, "This is exactly what I wanted," but also "and I didn't even know I wanted it!" This entirely self-imposed expectation is (1) crazy-making and (2) wholly unnecessary, as he's easy to please and generally content with anything that comes his way free of charge (see also: all the crap we've collected from curbsides or have traded for on Craigslist). Plus, who doesn't like gloves and CDs? I know I do. And yet I can't seem to let go of this need to knock his socks off.
The most pleased I've ever been as a gifter was the year I bought Teddy a liquor carafe, six matching glasses, and a bottle of Wild Turkey. He needed it, he uses it, and it's something that has special meaning for both of us; that's a good gift. Two of Simon's best gifts? For his sister's birthday: a tiara and a long cigarette holder a la Holly Golightly. And for my brother for Christmas: a spatula. (Two years later, it sits unused but in a place of honor on a shelf.)
Thus, a good gift--a memorable gift--doesn't have to be expensive or complicated or useful or wanted to be all that a gift should be. It just needs to be perfect, that's all. Magic.
Sigh.
What was the best gift you ever gave and/or received? (And can I get it shipped to my house before next Tuesday?)
***
And finally, in case you're feeling sad that you haven't heard a single thing about my reproductive plans in...carry the one...eighty-eight whole hours, I had my blood tested for hCG again on Saturday, and on Monday my doctor['s receptionist] left me a message that said, "Your hCG levels are normal...I mean, back to what they should be...which means you're...no longer pregnant. Um. Bye." It sounded weird to hear her say that I'm no longer pregnant considering I haven't been pregnant in any meaningful way for two weeks, but whatever, it seemed to be more awkward for her to say it than it was for me to hear it. Anyway, I suppose the clarification and specificity was important considering there are probably some women who might hear the words "hCG" and "normal" and think that means "Despite all other evidence to the contrary, your fetus is fine and thriving! Surprise! Put down that champagne!" I am not one of those people. In fact, I haven't put down the champagne for two weeks. Cheers.
*Not "Simon and I."
Posted by Leah at December 18, 2007 03:49 PMLast year my sister gave me a cross-stitch she made that said "My favourite *insert our last name here* is Toby's ass." Toby being our dog. It was random, drunken comment I made to her while ranting about our crazy family and she cross-stitched it to posterity. Best. Gift. Ever.
Posted by: hills at December 18, 2007 04:09 PMMy favorite gift was a weekend trip to the Masters of Food and Wine last year. I really don't know how that is going to be topped especially since it isn't in California anymore. A close second was when my friend gave me two jars of pickles. I love pickles :). I will never forget that gift partly because it was hilarious to open up in front of other people and have them think we were both crazy.
Posted by: Leah at December 18, 2007 04:12 PMThe best gifts I've got have all been kitchen related- a good paring knife, my kitchen aid, cookie sheets, and other assorted things. Best I've given? This year the boy is getting his own knife and honing steel. And my aunt will be getting pictures of my kitties. (She's mentally about 5 so this will give her about a week's worth of bragging at her day center. Plus the ceremonial showing of the pictures.)
The boy is near impossible to shop for as is his family because they all buy what they want when they want it. Sigh. But I got lucky this year.
Yeah, pretty much everyone I know is the same way--if we want something we get it. And if we can't get it, it's probably too expensive for someone else to get for us. Oh, if only it were as easy as it used to be--Cabbage Patch Kids for all and everyone is happy!
Posted by: Leah at December 18, 2007 05:10 PMI am also partnered with a fantastic gift-giver, and I've had some challenging holidays and gift-giving occasions, trying to come up with Just The Right Things. Case in point? While the most useful (and tied for favorite) gift he's ever given me was the digital camera I'm still using three years later, the best present was last year. It's a ceramic bowl that says "Now is the time to tell you there was LSD in the dip" on the inside. The story of why this made me cry opening it Christmas morning last year is a long one, but let's just say it was exactly what I wanted without even knowing it.
I think the best gift I've given him was the complete Calvin and Hobbes box set that came out a couple of years ago. Though maybe he'll be along sometime to tell me differently.
Posted by: Emily at December 18, 2007 05:24 PMI also have impossible expectations for myself when it comes to gift giving. It often leaves me scrambling at the last minute for any possible reasonable thing to pass off as a gift as I have spent all available time trying to find the PERFECT gift. I have actually wrapped a package of gum and called it a gift before (and well past the age that it might have been considered precocious). One year however, all the stars aligned and I was able to find and present the perfect gift at the appropriate time. My grandmother passed away right around Thanksgiving one year. She was my Mom's last parent and she was understandbly grief stricken. I found a poem my grandmother had written in high school with an illustration behind it - something about a touch of gold and finding beauty. I had it framed for my Mom for Christmas. She didn't even know the poem/picture existed so it was the perfect gift she didn't even know she wanted.
What I have learned is that the only problem with presenting the perfect gift is you will likely never be able to top it and now you have set the bar ridiculously high.
Posted by: cat at December 18, 2007 06:24 PMThe best present I ever gave was a trench coat to my handsome husband, years ago before we were married. Story here.
He still hasn't completely forgiven me. *snicker*
Posted by: Jennifer at December 18, 2007 06:42 PMMy favorite gift was a ring I got for my 18th birthday. All of my friends got together and bought it for me. I wanted it and had oohed and ahhed over it, but it was expensive. That didn't stop them. I loved it.
The best gift I've given was a trip to St. Louis (to Mike). I think the gift of travel is really hard to beat. He didn't know where we were going until we got to the airport. We called the trip "Excursion X" for the months leading up to it, and we still call it that still, even 3+ years later.
Posted by: She Likes Purple at December 18, 2007 09:39 PMMaybe I'm just easy to please, but I feel like I've gotten more than my share of great gifts in this lifetime. When I was a kid, my mom always pulled off these awesome surprises -- Cabbage Patch Kids, a homemade Annie doll, an antique doll house, a family trip to Epcot -- and now my husband has shown himself to be a very high-level gift giver. I think my recent favorites have been my DSLR, a surprise trip to see our best friends, an appointment with a personal shopper, spa days -- mostly stuff that I know I want but would never spend that kind of money on myself.
In terms of giving, I think I'm a decent gift-giver, but I'm a little bit lazy. I will scour the Internet for a good gift -- which as often as not is not a Thing thing, but an Experience thing, like a trip or tickets to a play or what have you -- but no one will ever find me tromping around the city into twee boutiques or thrift stores hunting high and low for some perfect objet. And the thing is, I bet I would find really awesome stuff if I did that, but I am lame and complacent and I can't be bothered to spend the time; thus, my gifts will continue to be slightly other than that which the person wants but doesn't know it. Le sigh.
Posted by: Lawyerish at December 19, 2007 06:41 AMThe best gift I ever got was from my brother. We grew up in the 80s and had strict parents who wouldn't allow us to own a Nintendo or any sort of video game system, and we always vowed that when we had our own money, that would be the first thing we bought. Of course, once adulthood hit, video games weren't at the forefront of our mind. Then on my 25th birthday, my brother surprised me with a vintage original Nintendo complete with Mario 1, duck hunt, skate or die and all the other old classics. It was so very thoughtful and I've had an awesome time re-living that part of my youth that I didn't have
Posted by: Martha at December 19, 2007 08:54 AMMy boyfriend is universally acknowledged among our "set" in Cairo as the best gift-giver of the group, and he's definitely given me some great gifts. Though I love, love, love the digital camera he got me for my birthday last year, my favorite gift from him was a set of moleskin diaries he bought me one summer long before we ever started dating.
Aside from gifts from him, my top two favorite gifts are a first edition copy of East of Eden given to me by a crazy person, but which I cherish still, and an old ring of my grandfather's that my grandmother gave to me on my 25th birthday.
Posted by: Super-S at December 19, 2007 10:14 AMBest 'it's exactly what I wanted and never knew it' gift I got my husband was Guitar Hero for his birthday this summer. He LOVES it! He never stops thanking me. And the best part is that it's a video game that's actually fun for all.
Posted by: Sarah at December 19, 2007 10:36 AMBest gift ever was probably my camera last year for x-mas. I wasn't expecting it and had actually pointed it out to my husband a few weeks before not knowing that my parents had already bought it for me. But the sweetest gift was actually the ring my husband had fixed for me when we were first dating. He conned my landlady into letting him into my apartment, went through my jewelery box and took the ring and had it fixed. I was crying when I got that one.
Posted by: Taylor at December 19, 2007 11:06 AM*But still, more polite would have been "Simon and me," rather than "me and Simon."
Posted by: Elle at December 19, 2007 02:09 PMThis year, I'm single and my pocketbook is thanking me that I don't have a boyfriend to buy for. I don't have a worry in the world. No perfect gift to hunt down. Yeah. And the loneliness isn't even getting to me. ;)
As for gift giving, I'm the easiest person to buy for. I am happy with any gift. Homemade. Store-bought. Big. Small.
I like practical things (like the tire chains I got a few years ago from my family) and I like giving practical things too. But, because I'm a funny girl, I'll often throw a box of Kraft Dinner in with a gift to make it sound different or put a little gift inside a huge box to make it appear different. That's why I love wrapping gifts. One time I gave my step-father a massive socket wrench set for Christmas. It took me hours to individually wrap every single piece and it took him hours to unwrap it all.
Posted by: reddirtroad at December 19, 2007 02:12 PMBest gift I ever gave was a secret date. I made my friends book off a certain night and sent them a series of wax-sealed envelopes including certificates and tickets for dinner, coffee out and a show with instructions to walk to each destination and enjoy the time together. If the show (Cats) had been more to their taste, I think that the gift would've been the coolest ever, though they still said it was.
Posted by: Elizabeth at December 19, 2007 03:57 PMWe didn't do gifts last year, and we're not doing gifts this year. We don't have a ton of extra spending money but we do have a roof over our head and food on the table, so we used the gift money we'd spend on each other and bought presents for a 13-year old girl who's a member of a family we "adopted for the holidays" at work.
I love getting (and giving) stuff, but we figured the clothes and shoes and books and high school musical calendar(!!!) and pajamas and the journal with a lock (she's got five brothers and sister) will mean more to the recently-homeless kid and her family than whatever we could get each other.
Posted by: the slackmistress at December 20, 2007 03:06 PM
