A Girl...

Leave them up. You know how I feel about it.

If I were you two, I'd have great sexy love sessions all over your house, with no protection, on the counters and in the laundry area and on the couch for days on end. Don't think too hard about it, just do it a million times. Do it all the time! Throw caution to the wind! Screw like rabbits, it's bound to happen again!

So, pretty much carry on as normal? (Sorry, dad!)

Note to all: This kind of advice is always okay. :)

Yes, carry on as usual. ;)

If memory serves, the laundry area isn't exactly conducive to hot monkey sex. Otherwise, I totally agree wtih reddirtroad.

But maybe it'll give you some good memories to reflect upon when you are doing load after load of your children's laundry in the future.

Personally, I like your comment approach. The only comments I've ever deleted are obvious trolly ones ("You're ugly"), but ones that disagree, feh, I feel like it's too slippery of a slope to bother, and besides, do I really want to be all censor-y?

Anyway, I'm glad you're okay, and I'm proud of how you're handling this, which is astonishingly admirable. xoxoxo

I am just getting caught up on your news and oh, I'm so sorry, and I'm glad you're mostly doing okay. Hugs to you and Simon, if you'll pardon the dorkiness of saying so.

i'd leave them so that the future can see how mean they were to someone. but that is me.

i still think the fun is in the trying!!! go for it... martinis, trying, parties, trying... trying. yeah, fun.

You KNOW I love you.

I had to go back and read the comments from the last post (after I commented) to see what you were referring to.

Stupid trolls. They do not know you, and are apparently heartless souls.

People who post with fake email addresses are COWARDS. And not worthy of a fraction of your time.

Big hugs to you.

xoxoxo

I never understand the motivation behind mean comments.

That's so exciting you guys are trying. Your attitude is really amazing.

Wow. Those comments were absolutely hurtful and awful. I got all nervous and shaky from reading them. I'm glad that you have the ability to just rise above them. YOU know where you stand on things (like people asking about pregnancy, and "living in sin"...good grief...judgmental much??) and that's all that matters. I'm still so sad that you have to suffer that barrage of negativity. Stay strong!

Now seems like yet another good time to mention the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19

I say leave 'em up - if other people choose to operate under the utterly bizarre assumption that the fact that you choose to share certain bits of your personal life with us gives them the right to be judgmental assholes, that's their row to hoe, ain't it?

I think your comment policy should be your comment policy. You're stronger (or so it is my opinion) than most, and can probably put up with more than most (more than me, for sure). Since we can't kick everyone that leaves rude commnets (which is what I'd like to do) leaving what they say as it is seems like a pretty reasonable option.

But since I can't kick them and advice is tricky, can I at least suggest they get themselves some strong tequila. It will do wonders for their personalities, I'm sure.

And how you're handling this is personaly inspirational. Just so you know.

You are positively brimming with perspective, which I think is a wonderful thing to have in this situation. It's one of the best gifts that trying times give us.

Having been there myself, I'm so sorry. It's something no one should have to experience. Ever.

Whoa, I cannot imagine writing something mean to someone about this??? Well, I would keep them up and let the world know there is still ignorance that abounds (like that is some hidden secret, no?)

You are a strong woman to admit and talk openly about this and finally to also admit that life is what it is and there is no way you can lie about that...

Being the pansy ass that I am, I recently deleted a troll-y comment and haven't posted a few others because I'm sensitive. One of those comments wasn't even directed towards me but I felt the need to censor it because I'm a people pleaser and don't like offending anyone.

That said, you are not a pansy ass, or at least you don't strike me as such, so if you can handle, go about your business. Let the trolls bitch and complain and go out of their way to read and make you miserable and you just live your life and write as you always have.

I'm glad to hear that nothing is seriously wrong with you. A clean bill of health must be a huge relief after this. And I think you have a great perspective on the whole thing. You are amazing.

I'd leave the comments up. Negative comments mean you've really arrived as a blogger, as far as I'm concerned. As long as they don't hurt you to see, I think they should stay. For posterity, or something.

I'd leave 'em up, too. Those people will be back, even if they say they won't, because they obviously want to watch the "drama" of their comments' reactions unfold. Leave them here so others can see what perfect assholes they were.

I'm glad your health is otherwise okay!

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer I told myself I wouldn't freak out. But I did and it was ok.

Big things are worth freaking out about...

I hope this weekend brings fun and laughter! Sounds like you could use it!

Oh, hell, leave the trolly comments up, if only because then the a-hole-ness of the commenter is there for the world to see. Honestly, while I get defensive on your behalf about it, it is also somewhat comedic that people would take the time out of their day to rant and rave on someone else's personal website. Kind of fascinating, really.

Continued hugs to you.

I really admire how you've kept such a positive attitude through this whole experience - it's certainly not an easy thing to do.

And I'm always kind of left speechless by the commenters who feel it is their duty to tell you how you should live YOUR life, and what you should write about on YOUR blog. Gimme a break, Nell Carter.

[Oh, and thanks to Doola! for posting the link to the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory - good times. Totally made my morning.]

Just catchin' up on your news...

*hugs*

Do what ya want; it's your blog.

*hugs for Simon, too*

Im sorry and you are already a family. Can we please see Linus in some ruffles?

Leave them up, they say more about the person who posted them than they do about you.

I agree with everyone else. Leave it up. And yeah, Angella, people who leave fake email addies ARE cowards. They should at least have the courage of their convictions but I guess they don't even have that. It must suck be insecure AND mean.

I also agree that it's OK to freak out if you need to freak out. On July 1, when my period showed up, I cried and cried and cried because I had SO wanted a Feb. 29 baby, and now it was never going to happen. And I didn't even lose a baby; we just didn't have one. And I freaked out, and then I felt better. I highly recommend the crazy sex because it worked for us. In a room in my in-laws' hotel with only an unlockable door between us and our other sleeping cherubs.

Leah, i used to comment often. and i feel the need to now then ever before. i just want to say you are incredible strong! your outlook on the situation is so positive. it sure is the begining of the begining and i can't wait to follow your journey...
and about the comments...i would just leave them up bc you are so right...people should be able to say whatever they want. as long as you can just skip over them and not let them get to you...all power to ya.
just my opinion though...what jerks. how dare they criticize your life. i just can't imagine!

hooray for the beginning of the beginning. sorry it's been a bit of a rough start--- but so excited to be along for the rest of the ride.

So sorry about your ordeal. You are obviously strong and realistic and hopeful. All good things.

As for the tasteless comments - it's your blog.Do whatever the hell you want! I hate it when people talk about "censorship" when it comes to blogs. This isn't the news media or the government and we are not obligated to let everyone voice their opinions. Sure, it's nice if we do let that happen. But we are in no way obligated to. And if someone doesn't like it, then they
don't have to read it!

That being said, I try as hard as I can to let everyone have their say on mine, but when it starts getting too hurtful or I start obsessing about it in my non-blogging time, I usually turn off the comments section for that particular post. Mostly for my peace of mind. Either way, it's your choice. Take care of yourself and of each other.

Well, with the outpouring of comments you received on the below post, I didn't read anyone else's comments. They were to you, not to me. I would leave them up because they say much more about the person who left them than anything else. Idiots should be able to dig their own holes.

I did read a now-defunct blog years ago where the guy would edit hatemongering comments into love letters. My blog being pretty much a throwaway, alas, I don't have to deal with such comments (of just about any kind anymore).

Just make sure most of those, ahem, surfaces are relatively clean.

I agree Dating Trooper-I almost feel like having a warning on my blog. "Say whatever you want in the comments but expect me to rip you apart if you go too far." I love how for nasty commenters the sanctimony ends at their gods-given right to leave you their opinions, it never extends to me being able to share my thoughts of said opinions.

Not that I really excite the trolls but there have been a few through some of my blog incarnations.

People suck. You're going through a rough time and you don't deserve such harsh and unfounded criticism (and judgment). They're doing exactly what the Bible (or whatever else they believe in) says not to: judge. And so what if you want a family but don't want to get hitched? What's a marriage anyway, just a piece of paper saying you're bound to one another? The strongest relationships are those who don't have to justify themselves by legal means, but are comfortable enough to live a life together on their own terms, whatever those may be. Keep it up, I admire your ability to maintain your sense of humor in the toughest of times!

I am pro leaving up negative comments, if only for context and to remind me not to take things too seriously. or something.

also, there are terribly sad stories about infertility and miscarriages and yours is sad too my love. we tried, assisted for a year and every month that there was no pregnancy was sad. We finally made one, and for that I am thankful and grateful.

You guys will be too. Two people THAT good looking could not possibly be denied procreating.

I am so sorry.

I'll tell you one thing that I'm quite sure of...you're going to be one terrific mom in the not too distant future. xoxoxox to you both.

And you both are doing very, very well...as a couple and as future parents.

A big ha ha to reddirt road for that first comment. I just wanted to say that I'm happy that you are both holding up (not that I didn't doubt you would/could), but just that I'm glad you are and I wish you all the best in your... umm... "efforts." (That's pretty "creeper", actually.)

You know what I like the most about the nasty comments, that most of us just ignored them and got on with the important thing here, namely being as much of a support as is possible across the wires! I say leave them up so we can continue to ignore them! I think you are being very brave and I hope you are taking lots of time to be gentle with yourself and the brave Simon too. I just wanted to send him some internet support too because sometimes we forget the blokes have suffered a loss as well. You can't know how you will react to a crisis until its upon you and its ok to fall apart sometimes. Thank you for sharing and being so honest! Now go have a cup of tea and a lie down!

When someone disagrees with me using their real email address, no matter how self-righteously or disrespectfully, my first instinct is to leave it up.

But when it's a fake one, I take it down immediately because I was a journalist for too many years to allow the tyranny of indefensible anonymity to stand. As an editor I would never allow anonymous letters in my newspaper, why should I allow anonymous comments?

I also leave a comment on my post to the effect that the anonymous commenter is welcome to email me with their real address and I will repost their comment without the address field if so desired. They're more than welcome to stay anonymous in public as long as I, the editor, know who they are.

Ahem. Applying high-minded principles of journalism to personal blogs! I am a nerd.

I think one of the most positive things about the blogging world is that you find that you can identify with someone else's situation in a real honest way. We are just beginning to try, but there's so much that I had no idea about know going into this.. all the fears, difficulties. Thank you so much for your honesty. It's really lovely.

i came across your blog just recently. i was just in your position recently, almost down to the exact details! except that my husband & i already told our parents & siblings that we were pregnant. a week later, i had those horrible cramps you were talking about - rushed to the ER, hours later (poor service there) many ultrasounds and "exams" later, they didn't find a baby in the uterus but "internal bleeding". a week later we found out in that blood they found fetal tissue. i was about to be 6 weeks along. very sad & hard on us - although before finding fetal tissue, we were told that we will "miscary" that week - many tears all week long, knowing what was happening. but closure came with the blood pathology reports knowing that it was "ectopic", but they were unsure where the baby had attached to. all the best to you - it's not an easy road...extremely painful. it was our "first" baby, too. hang in there.

Cats really are an excellence antidote to sadness - especially when dressed in ruffles.

Geez. I'm so sorry. That's all I have, really. I do agree with Anna, though. The purring helps a lot, too.