October 24, 2007
Covering My Bases
It's that time of year again. The leaves are changing to reds and yellows, the kneesocks are coming back into rotation, the air is crisp and cool..no...hot and muggy...no, wait, crisp and cool again. It's also the time of year when a poor, beleaguered health insurance advisor makes her annual journey into the heart of darkness that is my office at open enrollment time. Not only does Ms. Insurance get booed by everyone whose rates go up while their benefits go down, but she also has to endure an hour or so of me saying, "But why am I paying for services I might use? Why can't I just pay for services when and if I actually use them? How come everything costs so much? What does this fine print say? This is a scam, isn't it? O, why can't we be more like Canada?" and so on.
I was at my worst the year I turned twenty-six and became exempt from my parents' insurance plan and had to start paying for everything myself. I'm much better now, more mature, nicer and more understanding, more respectful of the whole "don't kill the messenger" concept, and I think Ms. Insurance might not hate me the way she used to. Just because she's an insurance advisor doesn't mean she's the evil mastermind behind the rules and the premiums and the lubeless violation of my paycheck's sensitive nether regions, right? Besides, this time she brought chocolates, so the least I could do was refrain from throwing rocks at her face while she reviewed my portfolio of coverage options.
One of the things that made the horse-sized insurance pill easier for me to swallow after that first year was that after countless hours of research and cursing and consultations with my likeminded father (him: "It is a scam."), I found a way to beat the system. Yes! I did! Instead of signing up for an HMO or a standard PPO, I opened an HSA (health savings account), which, as I understand it, basically acts like a PPO attached to an IRA: the money I put into it is still mine and it rolls over at the end of the year, growing, growing, pretax, tax deductable, and earning interest. And, get this, my monthly rates have gone down a few bucks every year while everyone else's rates have gone up by fifteen dollars/month or more. The way the HSA works is that instead of paying, say, $3000/year little by little out of every paycheck to the black hole of an insurance company so that on the off-chance I go to the doctor it would only cost me a $15 copay (that's an HMO for you), I pay $1500 little by little out of every paycheck to an insurance company for catastrophic coverage only, and the other $1500 goes straight into a bank account, pretax, and earns interest, for me, not for the insurance company. Then, if I have a qualified medical expense--everything from a doctor visit to presecription or OTC medication to contact lenses--I use the money in the account--my money--and anything left over is still mine all mine. Over the last two years I've kept several thousands of dollars in my own pocket and out of the insurance abyss. Brilliant, no?
Of course, this only works for people who are (1) healthy, (2) single, (3) childless, and (4) prepared to pay a $2000/yr deductible if medical expenses arise. That was all fine and good until I (1) bought a car, (2) bought a house, (3) turned twenty-eight and instantly became old and frail and wrinkly, and (4) convinced(?) Simon that the time to be no longer single and childless, it is nigh.
Enter Ms. Insurance and her Provisionary Warning of Doooooom: "Now, remember, the decision you make today is one you'll have to live with for the rest of the year, so choose wisely." I was Indiana in the room of grails. Which insurance package looks least likely to melt my face off? *GULP*
I reviewed my options. I thought about the year ahead. I noted that all of the other plans were at least twice as expensive as my current HSA program. I thought about the year ahead. I told Ms. Insurance that I was going to have to switch to an HMO because I spent all my savings on my house. She showed me how unless I was going to have a baby I would still be better off with the HSA. Unless I was going to have a baby. I thought about the year ahead. I did the math. I thought about the year ahead. Everyone was looking at me. I giggled nervously. I thought about the year ahead. A year is a long time. A year is a flash. I felt a blush spread over my cheeks. Everyone was looking at me. Is it getting hot in here or is that just my face melting from the inside out?
Posted by Leah at October 24, 2007 01:43 PMI sort of get the feeling that everyone reading this blog might be giving the same silent, expectant (whoops, no pun intended) stare as your coworkers. And yet, Internet staring is far less demoralizing as it is in person.
Posted by: Janssen at October 24, 2007 01:55 PMBelieve you me, I feel the stares. And it's not really demoralizing so much as it is, I don't know, embarrassing*? Am I really supposed to decide the next year's worth of reproductive adventure (or misadventure, or non-adventure) by checking a little checkbox on an insurance form while sitting at the conference table with all of my coworkers? No pressure! Sheesh.
Luckily, I was given three weeks to make my decision (the time runs out this week and I still haven't made a choice), so I was spared the worst and allowed to take my form home to check my little checkbox in private. I am such a wuss! :)
*I hesitate to use the word "embarrassing" because there's a part of me that thinks people who are too embarrassed to talk about making babies shouldn't be having them, the way people too embarrassed to buy condoms shouldn't be having sex. Then again, I cringe buying tampons, so what does that mean?
Posted by: Leah at October 24, 2007 02:05 PMI totally understand... How do you plan for a baby when you haven't decided if you want one yet? And - going back to the whole infertility issue - is it jinxing things to switch insurance to a different plan under the idea that you *might* decide you want to try for a baby? (Me: married 3 years, just bought a house... decisions, decisions... I didn't even think about the annual enrollment period that is coming up for our company too...)
How exciting for you and Simon that these things are under consideration!
Posted by: Lisa at October 24, 2007 02:28 PMSing it with me:
AWKWARD!!
Got to love discussing these things with co-workers. Maybe you should just move to Canada ;)
Posted by: Angella at October 24, 2007 03:18 PMInstead of signing up for an HMO or a standard PPO, I opened an HSA (health savings account), which, as I understand it, basically acts like a PPO attached to an IRA
OMGWTFBBQ?! LBJ's using his USB NIC and AOL to P2P his IRC over TCP/IP.
Posted by: Tim at October 24, 2007 04:06 PMOh my god it costs $3000 a year!!! I can't believe that. But in your favour and correct me if I'm wrong, I believe Americans pay much less tax off their salaries than Canadians do, so I'm probably paying that much for my free health care it's just in disguise.
i just picked my new insurance, and as a very (very) single woman, still couldn't pick the HSA because of the baby factor. do i want a kid this year? lord no.
but still, i have no doubt the year i pick the plan without maternity coverage is the year i miraculously have sextuplets. the whole thing is just too jinx-worthy.
Teej--I don't know how accurate or representative a number $3000 is for American health coverage. I picked it mostly because it made for convenient math. The price differs depending on where you live, how old you are, your medical history, etc. etc. I do know, however, that if I paid for an HMO, even single, childless, and healthy, it would be around twice what the HSA costs me. As for taxes, I don't know what the comparison is, but dude, you have mounties, so you still win!
Posted by: Leah at October 24, 2007 06:54 PM"...lubeless violation of my paycheck's sensitive nether regions."
Oh. My. God.
Leah, your writing is gold...just amazing. I have been reading your site for ages and am constantly in awe of your writing and ability to express thoughts and ideas that are little more than a few frazzled thoughts in my head. But every now and then you come up with something so incredibly brilliant that it leaves me speechless and staring at the screen in awe. Like that sentence above... the words, the mental images it concocted...just cracked me up.
If, one day, I can write half as good as you, I'll be pretty pleased!
Hope you didn't mind my spiel. It's midnight here (eastern Australia) and I was half asleep until I read that. I couldn't let it go! So thanks :)
And by the way, I'm super excited for you and Simon that more Big Changes may be on the horizon! Super excited.
Posted by: Ellie at October 25, 2007 07:12 AMUmmm....I have an HSA AND I'm having a baby this year...well, hopefully 2008 but since I set up my company's health plan (there's only two of us) there are no options except this one. I think it'll work out fine. Regardless health care is expensive. I like the HSA because it IS your money and it STAYS your money forever. Unlike that fickle FSA. At the end of the day - if you get sick or in an accident it costs money. Period.
Posted by: carrster at October 25, 2007 08:29 AMYour writing is terrific and totally enjoyable. Have a great day!
Posted by: Elizabeth at October 25, 2007 12:14 PMThe time has come for me to...delurk. I love your blog! And you! Can we be friends?
Oh, and as a fellow freelance writer who IS still on my parents' insurance (at 25, that is sad, I KNOW), this info will come in useful...soon...like when I move to San Francisco and in with my boyfriend in February...buy a car (best thing about NYC! don't have to have one of those!)...possibly a house...have a kid, oh wait, I mean, dog, or two...finally give in to the osteoperosis... You see, I'm really just A Couple Years Ago You!
Posted by: Kristin at October 25, 2007 02:02 PMOf course we can be friends, Two-Years-Ago Me! And can I give you some advice? Don't buy those teal suede loafers. You'll never wear them.
Posted by: Leah at October 25, 2007 02:08 PMI might check the box saying I expect to become pregnant in the next year just to confuse them.
Canada is a lovely place, I hear, but although health care is insanely expensive here, in many (not all) cases you get what you pay for. And when you need it, you're glad you paid the overpriced premiums.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at October 26, 2007 11:41 AMO Canada... we'd love to have you. :o) And with your ginormous fan base here, you don't even need free health care as a reason to move!
Posted by: Shirley at October 26, 2007 06:15 PM
