August 07, 2007
Surrogate
I'm frickin' exhausted. Not sure why, as I've been sleeping enough (likely over-enough) and eating my veggies and drinking my caffeinated beverage of choice (Earl Grey, now with Meyer lemon from the backyard!). I suspect it's because I haven't exercised in, oh, eons, and so my energy storage cells have atrophied along with whatever muscle mass I might once have earned pumping those five-pound barbells, but more likely I just have a case of the blahs, and also a little bit the WAHs because, tale as old as time, everyone gets a baby except for me, boo hoo hoo. People: I should not be jealous of Nicole Richie, but I am so help me god. Situation very dire indeed. Send chocolate.
Ever since we moved into the new house, I've had a secret wish for summer to suddenly turn gray and gloomy, just for a day, so we can fire up the old (new) gas fireplace and gather 'round about ourselves some blankets and cookies and coffeetable picture books--everything we need within arm's reach so we don't have to move from the hearth for hours and hours (do you think I can find a bedpan on eBay?). As of this week, I've been granted part of my wish although, sadly, not the part with the cookies and the blankets and the roaring fire but with the striped scarves and dense fog and cheek-slapping wind in August. Fogust. It's cold here and the light is flat and dull and I can't help wishing it were anytime but now. I must remind myself that by the time you are all bundling up against October winds, we'll be picnicking on the beach in short-shorts, for that is the way of the Bay Area. I hate it when my only solace is in gently abusing others, and I apologize, but that's all I've got right now. I have fifty bucks says your grass is greener than mine.
And yet, since it will not do to waste my life aching for a future that will surely come in its own good time, here I must make the most of current conditions and live today not for the distant future but for the near one, for tonight is to be the night we turn on the fire and see if its fake logs and switch-light flame will keep us just as toasty as the real thing.
Posted by Leah at August 7, 2007 02:13 PMthat is what i've been secretly wishing for too...i want fall to get here so that i'll be all settled into my new home and i'll be able to light that first fire in my gas/wood burning fireplace...*sigh*
i sure hope it gets down to at least 40 around octoberish...there have been times here in east texas where we have worn shorts xmas day. *sigh*
Posted by: zay at August 7, 2007 02:50 PMThat pesky grass. It never goes away. Now that I'm contemplating the baby thing in the relatively near future, I am pining for the days of unfettered sleeping in after long nights of mojito drinking. Well, fine, I can still do that. But when I can't? I will be begging you (BEGGING YOU) to take my kid.
Sold! For one night of sleep and two mojitos!
(See what we do to ourselves? GO AWAY, GRASS!)
Posted by: Moose at August 7, 2007 03:21 PMSo you're the reason I'm freezing my butt off today (of course just days after we had our heater pilot light turned off for the summer, too)? Thanks a lot.
Just kidding. In all seriousness though I totally agree that life is not best lived wishing for a different present than what you have. Working for a different future than your present--that does make sense though (if what I said made any sense).
p.s. Please consider secretly wishing for warm sunshine and swimming weather. Thank you.
Posted by: m at August 7, 2007 03:24 PMJealous of Nicole Richie, hoo boy. It is time for more booze in your life.
I have a sudden urge to go home and blast the A/C so we can snuggle up on the couch with a pile of blankets... Except we have no fireplace, dangit, so the effect is just not the same. Anyway, think of us sweating our ever-loving tuchuses (tuchi?) off here in the Northeast as you light your fire. See, there? Your grass is plenty green.
Posted by: Lawyerish at August 7, 2007 03:28 PMM--That's exactly it: I really really want to work toward my desired future, but alas, when it comes to weather and babies, I can't really do that without a little cooperation from the powers that be. So frustrating!
Posted by: Leah at August 7, 2007 03:35 PMI was saying the exact same thing on the way to work this morning. We're in the last month of winter and it hasn't been wet and miserable enough for my liking. Another sunny winters day...where is the rain and the sleet and the grey?? I want to wrap myself up in a blanket and read by the window dammit!
Posted by: Tan at August 7, 2007 03:36 PMBundling up in August? Unheard of. We're lucky to be wearing coats in December. I envy the ability to have and use a fireplace. They might get used once or twice around here. Ah, Central Texas, how I love thee!
(And jealous of Nicole Richie? Chocolate stat!)
We're not even quite moved into the new house yet...
Posted by: simon at August 7, 2007 04:14 PMNot hounding, just emoting.
Posted by: Leah at August 7, 2007 04:47 PMIsn't it funny how by summers end we are craving for woolly jerseys, mashed potato and snuggling up in front of the fire yet by mid winter we can't wait for some heat to be able to strip off and swim in some cool water. The grass is always greener.
Posted by: Anna at August 7, 2007 06:32 PMI truly understand. I do. Everyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting a kiddo so soon after my wedding, but I can't fight the feeling. I want one. That may be the first time I've said it out loud to someone other than my husband.
Posted by: Jennie at August 7, 2007 06:41 PMit's the hottest day of the year here in atlanta, and i spent most of it blasting the AC, and circling parking lots for the closest spot because DEAR JESUS MY FACE IS MELTING even just walking into the grocery store.
i cast my vote for more booze, less (nicole richie) babies.
eat a s'more for me.
Posted by: leenie at August 7, 2007 07:35 PMAll I can say is that I love you darling, and I am also willing to wager the fifty bucks that says your grass in greener. Glum, Glumer, Glummy.
Posted by: jenB at August 7, 2007 08:19 PMGod, I would LOVE one or two days where we could actually bust out the scarves, gross lighting and all. It's been about 100 here in Atlanta for the last few days and I am dying. That's what I blame my particular brand of exhaustion on -- the heat -- but it could also just be summer blues.
also, wow, I totally understand the omg baby thing. and why does Nicole Richie get one? I'm not even in a relationship that merits baby talk but I wantttt oneeeee. my preshussss.
Posted by: whitney at August 8, 2007 08:53 AMJealous of Nicole Richie?
I can't let this pass without commenting. You realize how crazy that sounds, I'm sure you're just kidding. You have a very good thing going on and a great life with plenty of baby years ahead of you so don't be jealous of an empty soul who got knocked up and will probably name her kid Fruit Salad. Go get drunk and watch TV.
Posted by: will at August 8, 2007 09:00 AMOh, it's horrible here. Far too dismal to get out of bed and EXERCISE! Cold is for wearing wool and flannel jammies and eating cheese. But in August? What the hell?
Posted by: Jemima at August 8, 2007 10:31 AMBetween you and Holly, I might end up moving my little trip to like October instead of September. I want to picnic in short shorts (Ok, that might frighten little children) on the beach, too!
Oh and trust me, my dear, my grass is dead and brown. I think the gloomies are going around. Cheer up, friend.
Posted by: Heather B. at August 8, 2007 11:19 AMI understand completely. For some reason once the fall clothes start appearing in catalogs I start to crave wooly sweaters. It's unbelievably hot and humid here today though so the idea of a crisp fall day seems so far off. Oh and I can't wait to use our new fireplace too!
Posted by: Andrea at August 8, 2007 12:31 PMAwww, you always have my blog to go to when you want to feel good about your life again. :-)
And I've got clouds, too!
Posted by: Meg at August 8, 2007 01:09 PMIf it makes you feel at all better it is NEVER rainy, cloudy, cold or ANY effing thing but sunny happy blue sky all the way down here.
I wish the light would dim just a bit so maybe I could get a full nights sleep.
Posted by: Kiraa at August 8, 2007 01:27 PMI think I just got one notch closer to complete heatstroke just reading this post!
Posted by: Jay at August 8, 2007 07:59 PMAh, but in Texas it is typcially still hot in October so we will be in the back yard sunning naked, running through yard sprinklers and making s'mores on the patio.
Then again, we're usually suffering from floglution, that hazy illness-inducing haze on all horizons.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at August 10, 2007 09:07 AM