May 30, 2007
Shine On, You Crazy
I wonder what kind of parent I'll be based on the fact that while I'm very good at laying down the law I'm not so good at enforcing it, kind of like I'm a master at dishing it out but not so skilled at taking it, although that's another story entirely. On the first point, however, let us use as our example Simon's recent romp at Guitar Center's Memorial Day Sale, from which he returned with a vibraslap, some sort of distortion pedal, and a cheap guitar to cover with rhinestones. "Don't buy anything," I said to him when we received the advert in the mail. "Don't buy anything," I said to him when he told me he was waking up at the asscrack of dawn to hit the sale. "Donut my annmgff," I said to him when he kissed me on the forehead and left me in bed Monday morning so he could be there when the doors opened.
Still, I wasn't at all surprised when he came home with an armload of loot. My first clue was calling him that morning to find he was mid-transaction at the cash register and could he call me back after they'd taken all his money, kthnxbye? My second clue was that he was completely up-front and transparent all along about being on the prowl for a cheap guitar to put rhinestones on. My third clue was when he said, "Why would I buy anything when I don't need anything?" which pretty much sealed the deal because when did that ever stop him?
Because that's just the problem. We (both of us) buy things when we don't need them. Perhaps we even buy things because we don't need them (see: breaking the closet rod under the weight of too many (old, outdated, ugly) clothes). In some sort of contortion of Conspicuous Consumption (a contortion, for who are we trying to impress?) or perhaps in lurid celebration of this mighty consumer nation, we can't seem to stop ourselves, especially if there's a bargain at stake, and so we end up with eight guitars and four bikes and too goddamn many clothes.
But that also is another story for another day.
What I want to talk about is how when he came home and spread his spoils before me (albeit somewhat sheepishly), I smiled and nodded and, instead of pulling up an Excel spreadsheet on Bay Area housing prices, holding up my paycheck, and then doing an interpretive dance to represent the mathematical symbol for "less than," I congratulated him on money well saved. There's no doubt he would have bought all of those things eventually, so why not now? Why not on sale? Why not, indeed.
He spent the post-sale afternoon online looking for rhinestones sold on the cheap and by the gross, and that evening we went to both a craft store and a fabric store (Simon's personal Hell and Limbo) seeking plain, round, flat-back, 10mm crystal stones sold for prices lower than and in quantities greater than $3.29 for a bag of fifty. By last night his hopes were dashed and it was with the sluggish gait of a beaten-down hero that he came to me and said that because the rhinestones were going to end up costing hundreds of dollars (more than the guitar, even), he might as well just return the guitar and scrap the whole idea.
And there was much rejoicing, right? Except, no. There was much Googling and back-patting and "there, there"ing because, alack, my poor sweet boy! look how sad he is! whatever can I do to remove the dolor from his cheek? the furrow from his brow? what must I sacrifice, o ye gods, in order that I might reintroduce the sparkle to beloved's eye?
Seriously, does anyone know where we can get cheap rhinestones in bulk? I can't stand to see him denied this small, sparkly joy, even if it is expensive, unnecessary, and, honestly, TOTALLY GAY.
Posted by Leah at May 30, 2007 03:42 PMHow about these? http://www.glitteronline.nl/catalog/webshop.php?cPath=21_25&osCsid=e5dd8fb07daee00cb4178c10f3398ac3
They definitely do the bulk bit... and are filthy cheap!
Posted by: Cath at May 30, 2007 03:59 PMOh, and obvs happy to translate if needed!
Posted by: Cath at May 30, 2007 04:00 PMOh and last but not least (comment spam!): http://www.abckralen.nl/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1453&language=en
This one's in English and 100 10mm rhinestones will set you back 12 euro (about $16).
Posted by: Cath at May 30, 2007 04:06 PMDo you have some sort of backstage pass to the Internet, Cath? Wow!
Posted by: Leah at May 30, 2007 04:10 PMI'm going to call him Simon with the Fabulously Gay Guitar the next time we're in town. Hee!
Posted by: Emily at May 30, 2007 04:33 PMhttp://www.orientaltrading.com/application?namespace=browse&origin=searchMain.jsp&event=link.itemDetails&demandPrefix=12&sku=57/7014&mode=Searching&erec=9&No=64&D=rhinestone&Ntt=rhinestone&Ntk=all&Dx=mode%252bmatchallpartial&Ntx=mode%252bmatchallpartial&N=0&sd=RITZY+RHINESTONES++1/2+LB+UNIT
oriental trading company
Posted by: lenora at May 30, 2007 06:55 PMI request a video of him playing the guitar upon it's completion.
Posted by: beck at May 30, 2007 07:05 PMhmmm... i'm wondering if general bead (on minna in sf) might be able to help you out? they definitely sell stuff in bulk and that seems like something they would carry.
Posted by: a-m at May 30, 2007 07:41 PMWhile my guitar gently weeps at the end of the Barbara Steisand concert?
Posted by: will at May 30, 2007 08:29 PMThis guy sells Swarovski in bulk. You have to search for flatbacked pieces...but it is all top quality and reasonably priced. You can also get a nice variety of sizes for interest.
http://www.bconklin.com/
Posted by: J at May 30, 2007 08:51 PMHeh, no, just chronic insomnia and a basic grasp of Dutch :)
Posted by: Cath at May 31, 2007 12:47 AMOh, Leah. I know exactly what you mean. I too hate denying my baby anything (except his loves are more of the techy, gadgety variety), and I'm fairly certain I will be a completely over-indulgent mother who allows her children to run amok.
No suggestions on how to find rhinestones on the cheap, but good luck!
Posted by: Super-S at May 31, 2007 02:29 AMWe have a bit of the opposite problem... neither of us likes spending money in large quantities, so we often have to talk each other into getting something the other really wants. (Did that even make sense? It's early.) I do secretly wish I could buy all the shoes I desire, but alas... I'm too practical. Bo-ring! :)
Posted by: leandra at May 31, 2007 06:28 AMI think my husband might have been the original choreographer of the "less than" dance after one of my shoe shopping bonanzas a couple of years ago.
And yes, I NEEDED them.
Posted by: Tara at May 31, 2007 07:14 AM*cough* Stuart *cough* xbox *COUGH*.
I'd tell you more but I suspect there's a gag order out there on the subject.
Posted by: Krissa at May 31, 2007 07:56 AMYes, well, I am Leandra and my boyfriend is Simon/ Leah. Sometimes, it works out great; sometimes, not so much.
And also? When I saw your post title, I thought it was going to be a wildly different post. Midway through, I went, "Ooooh, RHINESTONES. Duh."
Posted by: Ky at May 31, 2007 08:03 AMUnfortunately I don't have any suggestions except that perhaps hitting up some Bedazzler blogs (if there are such things) may be helpful as I'm sure those women know where to get rhinestones on the cheap.
Also, and more importantly, this cracks me up slash warms my heart. I love you two. In a platonic, imaginary internet friend kind of way.
Posted by: Clink at May 31, 2007 09:16 AMIt's hard to say no as a parent, because sometimes bribery makes the trip to (insert name of discount retailer here) more pleasant if we grant the kid a 99-cent Hot Wheels car. But that temporary sanity is probably being chipped away by the message it sends (although taking a toy home is contingent on not whining or fussing or pissing in one's pants).
I see nothing wrong with having multiple bikes (I have one and one-half myself and would be happy to buy half of one of yours to complete my collection ... make it a cruiser). If being able to afford a home means you've got to radically alter your lifestyle and habits, is it worth it? Maybe, but that's for you to figure out.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at May 31, 2007 10:41 AMWe are all guilty of it. Once the house is actually not just in theory but an actuality you'll both save. That is until you actually buy the house and then you realize all the "stuff" you "need" to get for the house.
Posted by: Andrea at May 31, 2007 01:29 PMGay.
Posted by: justJENN at June 1, 2007 11:43 PMWhat about eBay? http://cgi.ebay.com/960-pcs-5mm-20-RHINESTONES-SETTINGS-Gems-Bedazzler_W0QQitemZ140124306769QQihZ004QQcategoryZ121828QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Posted by: Kate at June 3, 2007 12:12 PM
