May 01, 2007
I'm Late
Late twenties, that is.
Today is my birthday and I am twenty-eight. Simon phoned this morning from across the pond and called me a "big grown-up girl" in the voice he usually reserves for infants and small dogs. I don't know if that means he thinks I'm childlike or childish, but I'm going to go with the latter considering how he decorated for my suprise party last year. Today I received a stack of cards by post and a couple of singing, dancing virtual cards by email, and earlier this afternoon there were coworkers crooning over a flaming chocolate cake with my name on it (although, sadly, not literally). My face turned pink and I died of embarrassment as per usual.
This year marks the first time probably ever that I haven't heard my maternal grandparents sing Happy Birthday to me over the phone at 7 o'fuck in the blooming morning (read: they sing Happy Birthday to my voicemail). It could be that they don't have my new phone number, but it could also be that I'm not ten years old anymore. Or twenty-seven. Whatever. I remember the year the Easter Bunny didn't come, and even though I was waaaay too old for that sort of thing, I remember being not just surprised but a little disappointed that there were no plastic eggs to be discovered in the houseplants and behind the couch cushions. Maybe that's one of my problems with birthdays--I expect them to come with all the bells and whistles and balloons and clowns of my youth, but these days they either don't or, if they do, it's just not the same. Why do I find it impossible to look back on a blissful childhood without getting wistful?
Let's see...What else is on the agenda for today? For starters, putting the cat in a party dress whether she likes it or not. It's my damn birthday, cat, so get festive. Then I think I'll spend the evening naming my wrinkles after geographic features. It wasn't until about a month ago that I started to notice real, actual age-betraying wrinkles on my face, and now that I've moaned and groaned about them for a sufficient period of time, I'm now moving on to the Acceptance phase of this whole "aging" thing. Acceptance of my age via giving my body parts silly names--yes, I see the irony. The fine lines under my right eye have been dubbed the Ocular Gorges; the line above my right eyebrow: Ye Olde Forehead Crevasse. The laugh line from my right nostril to the corner of my mouth--already technically labeled the colorful "nasolabial furrow"--is now the porny-sounding Hoary Ravine.
Did you notice that I am only wrinkled on one side of my face? I figure I'm squashing everything into the pillow while I sleep or else I have a rare disorder in which the two sides of my body degenerate at uneven rates (am I my own twin?!), which, come to think of it, would explain my suddenly arthritic right knee or why Golden Girls is more enjoyable with one eye shut. Either way, at least I still have some time in which to take good portraits, providing, of course, that I keep cameras away from me starboard side.
Or maybe not. On the advice of two respected photographers I bought myself a new lens with languishing Christmas money from my parents, and in addition to providing a shallow depth of field that creamates the background into a lushy soup of shape and color, it also brings out freckles (i.e., sun damage, a.k.a., age spots) that I never knew I had. Observez vous the left side of my face:
Old, old, old. Cry, cry, cry.
Another fun thing to do on one's birthday is look over Wikipedia's death pages. From last month alone, there's this guy, 59, a feline expert, who died in a motorcycle accident when he swerved to avoid a cat; this guy, 37, a world-record free diver, who drowned; and this guy, 43, founder of the Accident Group, who died, of course, in an accident (car). Talk about irony. I'll take rain on my wedding day, thanks.
I guess all that's good news, though, being that my job isn't dangerous beyond papercuts and sloth-induced sciatica, and I don't think you can die from that. As long as the semicolons don't join together and form an angry mob, I think I'll be okay. Besides, most of the Wikipedia deceased lived to perfectly respectable ages. I'm not even halfway to sixty, and don't think I won't take comfort in that the next time I don't get I.D.ed for buying liquor. Besides, look at this lady; at 113, she was only the sixth-oldest person at the time of her death. I could always do that, right? Something tells me the left side of my face will be quite wrinkled by then, but I guess that's just the price you pay for living.
Happy Birthday! Sounds like you had a fairly excellent day!
Posted by: Janssen at May 1, 2007 08:21 PMI think you'd better take a sit down for this: for once I think I'm the first commenter which hardly ever happens with me being in the southern hemisphere and all *queue gasps* Hope you have a fantastic birthday, chock full of sugary goodness :)
Posted by: Tan at May 1, 2007 08:27 PM`take a sit down??' I really should be proof reading ! Lesson learned, don't comment at work because someone will interrupt and then Janssen will beat you to it :)
Posted by: Tan at May 1, 2007 08:28 PMHAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
If you're old, then I'm almost dead. That's a compliment - YOU'RE NOT OLD. And you're hot ;)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Posted by: Angella at May 1, 2007 08:48 PMYou are absolutely gorgeous. Happy Birthday!!
Posted by: reddirtroad at May 1, 2007 09:58 PMHappy Birthday Lady Leah!
Posted by: beck at May 1, 2007 10:47 PMwell, happy birthday!. . . coincidentally i was actually out wandering around town trying to think of a theme to use for decorating my coworker's nook for *her* birthday. . . the ideas morphed from tons of fresh flowers (nixed for obscure reasons) to assloads of hanging strands of clear plastic beaded curtains with a tiara to pirates to my current thought of hanging a crapload of fake water lilies. . .
hey, here's a question - do you think i should hang them all at the same level so that they kind of look like they're floating on an invisible pond?. . . or do you think i should hang 'em all at different heights?. . .
Posted by: bloopy at May 1, 2007 11:50 PMHappy Birthday! And I think you are aging gracefully and with poise!
Posted by: The Real Mrs White at May 2, 2007 01:26 AMHappy Birthday!
The lens you bought is great. I too have the same lens and use it 9 out of 10 times.
Posted by: Colleen at May 2, 2007 05:51 AMA little late, but Happy Birthday! How is it that I've been reading this blog for over 2 years now and I only now realized that you share a birthday with my father? Anyway, I'm very much convinced that May 1sters age very well. My 64 year-old pops could pass for mid-fifties, no problem. :)
Posted by: newgyptian at May 2, 2007 06:14 AMA belated happy birthday!
Posted by: El at May 2, 2007 06:20 AMA belated happy birthday!
Posted by: El at May 2, 2007 06:20 AMHappy Birthday from someone who's already slightly more than halfway to sixty! (Thanks for reminding me of that, by the way...)
Incidentally, I get wistful about childhood birthdays, too, and also can't wait to hide Easter eggs in the houseplants and sofa cushions for my own daughter. Did we grow up in the same family without knowing it?
Posted by: Lawyerish at May 2, 2007 06:27 AMhappy birthday from someone who is entering her thirties this year! :)
(yeah, I know I am technically '30' already, but 31 means 'in my thirties,' eeep!)
Posted by: leandra at May 2, 2007 07:03 AMhappy birthday!
Posted by: malia at May 2, 2007 07:22 AMLady, if you keep going on about being old, I'm going to throw a cake at your head. Every year of your life has the capacity for being the best year of your life, it really doesn't matter how old you are!
Happy Birthday, Wrinklehead. Spoil yourself. Have you bought yourself your own covetous present yet? That's my annual birthday tradition.
Posted by: Krissa at May 2, 2007 07:35 AMHappy birthday!
I'm with you on the wrinkles. Except that my transition into acceptance also included the setting up of a savings plan for a future non-invasive cosmetic procedure.
Posted by: Tara at May 2, 2007 07:36 AMI graduated HS and joined the Navy the year you were born.
I'll be dead any minute.
On that note...Happy Birthday!
Posted by: iamnot at May 2, 2007 07:58 AMHAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY!!!
And you are so not old, so whatever.
Posted by: Heather B. at May 2, 2007 08:04 AMHappy (belated) birthday, youngster. I'm four years shy of FORTY (God help me), so no whining allowed for you.
Hope you got some good swag.
Posted by: candace at May 2, 2007 08:18 AMI have almost 5 years on you and I'm not old.
Posted by: will at May 2, 2007 08:35 AMHappy Birthday (a day late)!!!!! Enjoy the lens, that is on my camera ALL the time!! (though it might be usurped by my macro lens that arrives today!)
Posted by: MicheleLouise at May 2, 2007 08:46 AMHappy Birthday from one of your elders!
Posted by: Ms. X at May 2, 2007 08:48 AMHappy Birthday and welcome to the 28-year-old club, its not a bad place to be! I really like being 28, young enough to still be considered young yet old enough to be credible. :)
Posted by: Monica at May 2, 2007 09:07 AMI have that same lens. Isn't it awesome? I have 4 others, but that's pretty much the only I've been using for the past few months.
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: gimmy at May 2, 2007 09:21 AMHapy birthday, beautiful! I hope Simon gives you a wonderful, abeit belated, birthday celebration when he gets back.
Posted by: Amanda at May 2, 2007 09:34 AMYou guys are great. Thanks! I especially like how Heather B., who is practically an infant, is telling me I'm not old. And also how Will, who will always be a child, is using himself as a measuring stick. Ha!
(Bloopy--I think hang them at different heights. Less cerebral and clever, but more visually interesting, I think.)
Posted by: Leah at May 2, 2007 10:31 AMHappy Birthday, beautiful one!
Posted by: whoorl at May 2, 2007 10:33 AMI love your eyes in that shot. Happy Birthday, young buckette.
Posted by: Kristin at May 2, 2007 11:44 AMHappy Birthday, you youngster. Geez, 20's seems soooooo long ago!
Posted by: Jodi at May 2, 2007 12:13 PMHappy Birthday! (Also, a request to post a photo of your cat in a party dress. Because who doesn't like cats dressed in people-outfits?)
Posted by: Clink at May 2, 2007 12:21 PMI'm a bit late, but Happy Birthday!
Posted by: felicity at May 2, 2007 01:21 PMHappy Birthday! You made me laugh about how watching Golden Girls is better with one eye closed. Clearly you need Simon home cuz you seem to be dwelling on the wrinkles that nobody can see! You look GREAT!
Posted by: Tricia at May 2, 2007 02:02 PMHappy Belated Birthday! You look great and not a day over 16, you look exactly the same as those high school dance photos you posted a month ago.
Posted by: Teej at May 2, 2007 02:07 PMi loved being twenty-eight. hope it's a beautiful year for you :) happy birthday!
Posted by: lei at May 2, 2007 02:27 PMHappy Birthday!!!
Posted by: thesparkler at May 2, 2007 03:09 PMI'm with Clink ... please post a picture of Eve in her party dress, with her little pointy party hat on.
Posted by: Ted at May 2, 2007 03:15 PMHow about a party scowl?
Posted by: Leah at May 2, 2007 03:27 PMParty scowl ... okay, as long as it's wearing a dress and hat.
Posted by: Ted at May 2, 2007 05:06 PMThose shots all look ptty beautiful to me!
Happy Birthday!
Those shots all look pretty beautiful to me!
Happy Birthday!
how did i miss your birthday? happy birthday my fellow taurus.
Posted by: jeorg at May 2, 2007 06:42 PMI'm late, but happy birthday!! 28 is nothing. I hit 34 last time around. This whole aging thing is getting old but I guess it's better than the alternative.
Posted by: Chris at May 2, 2007 06:50 PMOH! Sorry I'm late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Nice work on the lens.. still wanna be you when my camera grows up. ;-)
Posted by: Mrs. Flinger at May 3, 2007 03:29 PMAww! Happy belated birthday! *luvs*
Posted by: cj at May 5, 2007 07:20 PMWow, I'M late! 47th commenter, but a big big Happy Birthday. xoxo
Posted by: justJENN at May 6, 2007 01:36 AM
