Ain't That a Kick in the Head Nuts
This morning I drove my car to work because I needed to haul two dozen homemade creampuffs to the office for a going-away party tonight, and I didn't feel like taking them on cramped, germy public transportation, and also I HAVE A NEW CAR! WHEE!
I parked it in the lot across from my building so I could look out my window and check on it approximately three hundred times per hour, you know, to make sure it's still breathing. Four hours passed uneventfully and then about twenty minutes ago it started to hail—make that motherfucking hail, which wouldn’t have been quite so upsetting if, say, I hadn’t gotten my car a mere forty-six hours ago and also if this wasn’t the first time the Bay Area sky has opened up and pissed down gallstones since the dawn of digitally-recorded history (read: couldn't find any stats on the innernets). I seriously can’t remember the last time it hailed in my five years here, although I’m sure that when it did I probably didn’t run out into it, flailing like a crazy person, deluded that I could actually change the weather via frantic windmilling of my arms at the heavens. I mean, what was I planning to do? Stand next to it with my red ducky umbrella? Cover it with a hefty horse blanket? To whom can I address my letter of complaint?
Another rain-related issue I would like remedied is the motion of the windshield wipers. Instead of going side to side in parallel unison, they swish from the outside edges in, like the hands and feet of a flapper shuffling across the floor, toes out, toes in, toes out, toes in, jazz hands! Aside from this being highly irregular in my book, I suspect it might also cause injury to someone who traditionally likes to follow the blades with her eyes: ocular acrobatics = "I sprained my eye!"
On the way to work I also discovered that the cup holders resent being used for their intended purpose and therefore push up on the full mug of tea that I am trying to push down into the holder so I can drive with both hands. So now there's a teeny-tiny tea stain on the outside edge of the passenger seat, which, considering that it's hailing again--hard enough that car alarms are going off--is not really that big a deal in the grande scheme of things that suck.
Things that do not suck include:
--the kind and generous Carrster mailed me a box of homemade brownies, each individually wrapped and tied with a pastel bow!
--JustJENN sent me a Valentine's package last week with pink marshmallows and Hawaiian macadamia Kisses and a robot pin and suckers--all of it packed inside a handmade pouch!
--Shirley sent us a postcard from London!
--I have an excursion to San Francisco with my photography group this Saturday!
--I narrowly avoided (by like ten minutes) a potentially expensive insurance pain in the ass thanks to Simon's care and patience and calm in times of stress, which also involved him picking me up from work even though the whole reason I got a car is so he wouldn't have to ever again
--one of Simon's patented surprises is lurking on the horizon for either Friday or Sunday; I've been instructed to not ask questions
--spring and then summer are on the way; the sun'll come out eventually, if not tomorrow
well according to sfist the last time it hailed was yesterday. . . funkiest windshield wiper i've ever seen was on a bmw (i think) and it had just one mongo wiper blade that would boing down (sorry, can't think of a better word) as it approached verticalitudiniciousness. . .
Simon's pretty sure the last time it hailed was the day he bought his new car.
Wow, the weather responds to what you do! Neet!
Say, could you buy a brand-new pair of skis or a snowmobile or something and bring it here to Denver? I'd appreciate it...
We'll expect a full hail damage report tomorrow. Hopefully none! Also, sedan (4-door), or coupe (2-door)?
Sedan, like a grown-up.
This is in NO way helpful, but the last time I remember the hail coming from the sky was in 1993. I was walking home from school and was inches away from being slammed by a semi. In a residential neighborhood. Hm. I wonder if he thought he was on the highway or something.
I'm so glad it's a sedan. I mean, I'm too old for a coupe. I agree.
(Also, yay for surprises! Am I weird that I don't like them and get supremely uncomfortable when I'm surprised?)
I hate surprises too, but he's never steered me wrong so far, so I think I'm in good hands.
I can't seem to get past 'creampuffs'. How much would it cost for you to send them 3000 miles east?
Glad you liked the brownies. Next time they'll be more chocolatey! I used a new recipe and will be upping the cocoa for next time.
:)
yay for surprises!!
Photography group? Tell me more! What do you do? How did you find the group? I'm very curious.
Awesome on getting a new car! Sorry it hailed on it, though. We get it several times a year in Texas, and that's why we insist on cramming both our cars into the garage. Of course, we're outta luck while at work, but what-ev.
Hondas are really great cars, but we didn't buy one because of the little things that weren't just right. Of course, we're picky. The Accord didn't suit my wife because the visors wouldn't push far enough forward. As for your windshield wipers, they are a throwback: many cars built in the 60s had 'em like that, as do many minivans today. Enjoy!
Good choice with a 4-door, and good choice not getting a hybrid. They are among the biggest ripoffs ever.
New wheels! You lucky girl. Anyone who had to drive an 80-something Corolla for years should be rewarded with a new car...hence, I am waiting for mine.
What colour did you choose?
OK, sorry. I am a lousy excuse for a blog reader. Upon getting caught up on your previous post I found my answer to the colour question.
Yay for black!
Sweet! I was wondering when that thing would make its way across the world. I thought of you when I was in the Roman Baths in Bath!
And congrats on the new car m'dear!
I second the photography group question! I'd love to know more about it...
Ooooh, boy surprises are good. Patented even better. Color me jealous.
I'm sorry to admit laughing out loud at your hailing crisis. Doesn't it always work that way, though.
Are you of the type that names cars?
Yes, I'm a car namer, but so far this one hasn't "spoken" to me. I do want to call it Puffin, but then, I call everything Puffin these days... My last car was Zeke (the license plate was ZEK), so maybe I'll have to wait to get plates before I decide on a name.
Oohhhh photography group. Does that mean we are all going to see some of your beautiful pictures on Monday? Please say yes I need something to start off my week right.
Aw! That just sucks.