Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart cereal*.
All last night the rain came down in bucket-sized drops and the raingutter just outside our bedroom windows funnelled a steady crash like Niagara Falls. No, that's not a metaphor. The only time I cried last night was when I heard Teddy's voice in my cellphone. I haven't talked to him for almost two months and this morning he Greyhounds from Philly to New York to catch a flight to London via Reykjavík. (We have requested Bjork memorabilia.) He'll be out of the country for a month, and I was just so glad to hear him on the line because I thought he'd already left.
Simon and I hung out on the couch, goofed on the organ (keyboard!), watched the latest Decemberists video (Colin! the pudge of fatherhood does not become you!), and despite our sleep deprivation (two and a half hours the night before) we stayed up to catch back-to-back episodes of The Girls Next Door, the reality show about Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends," which seems to be a program nobody anywhere is talking about, not even as an embarrassing guilty pleasure. I suspect either we really are the only two who watch it or else everyone everywhere is secretly obsessed but doesn't dare admit it because where in the universe of progressive womanhood is there room for so much hair and makeup and silicone? But we are not ashamed. We even took the online quiz to see which of the girlfriends we would be/bed. Join us in our unabashed depravity, will you?
Things are calm. Things are being talked about. Things that hadn't been mentioned before are being mentioned, and things that had been mentioned before are being taken more seriously. No one is fighting, no one is screaming, no one is throwing anyone's clothes out the window or bundling the cat into a handkerchief-and-stick hobo pack and taking to the rails.** Your emails and calls (JenB said "aboot" on my voicemail!) were much appreciated and effectively kept me from doing any work at all, which was nice because I really did need the break. Also, those of you who offered to send me brownies are totally welcome to do so on condition that I'm allowed to share them with Simon. There's no good guy/bad guy here, just a lot of underground fuckedupedness arising from a variety of unusual circumstances, and thank you everyone for understanding that. We are not dangers to ourselves or others and, as I told Simon last night, although I am reading The Virgin Suicides right now, he should not be alarmed; I'm have no plans to become a virgin.
* Check out the inside of our cereal cabinet door. Tasty.
**Perhaps my favorite scene of the Simpsons is when Bart and Homer meet up with a hobo and he tells them not to worry because he's a singin' hobo, not a stabbin' hobo! He croons, "I love to live the hobo life / stabbin' folks with my hobo knife." Awesome. My second favorite scene is probably when Homer threatens his that if he loses the next race, the whole family will take a trip to the glue factory...and the horse won't be invited! That just kills me.
Phew! I feel better that you two are better.:)
Thank you for the update. I had been holding my proverbial breath, not knowing what to say... not that I expected anything terribly dramatic to occur overnight or anything. You both are sensible and I have faith in you!
I was just about to email...
But this is good. Progress is good.
If there’s a bright side in all of this it sounds like everything is out now. “Out” can hurt at first but is a better place to be in the long run.
I know you’re into cereal but is it necessary to stockpile it? :)
I agree that it's good at least that everything is out. Remember, at the end of the day there are two sides to every relationship - the love side, and the practical side. Both have to match in order for things to work, and if they don't, it doesn't mean anyone is a bad person, it just means that things are different for each of you.
No matter what, you both deserve someone who is in harmony with your loving needs, and your practical needs. I hope you find common ground between the two of you, if that's what you both want, but if not, remember that you will, and that you deserve nothing less.
Phew as well. I felt as though the world had tilted a bit there.
It's called a bindle, by the way, and a tramp or hobo carrying such an item may be referred to as "a bindle stiff."
Of course you would know that, Hulkster. Of course. *cough cough nerd cough*
I think everyone else has stated quite eloquently the relief I too feel, so I will comment on The Girls Next Door. I love this show. In fact, I mentioned to the boyfriend last night that I wondered when new episodes would come out because, sadly, I think I've seen them all. Bridget is my favorite. And I secretly want Holly and the Hef to get married, but that won't happen. Wow....that might just be one of the most pathetic comments I've ever made. :)
Bridget is our favorite too. And I want Holly to marry Hef, but yeah, not gonna happen. I just hope he provides for her upon his demise...
(Do you find yourself squealing "Puffin!" all the time too?)
I did not say "aboot", I said "abowt". You guys are blinded by stereotypes! :-) I am happy for the update as well and wish you both the very best in your journey. Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife is also one of my favourites. I shall sing it today in your honour.
If I could figure out how to turn your message into an mp3, I would share it to the world. You totally said "aboot." But "aboot" rhymes with cute! So there!
Yay for long talks any relief!
Oh and thanks for the invitation to send brownies, coupling (tripling? menage a trois-ing?) my love of baking, my desire not to EAT said baked goods, and the newly found love of mailing things.
Then again, there's also my problem of being terribly lazy.
Progress is, indeed, good. I'm so glad.
And, on another note, I am semi-obsessed with Girls Next Door. I'm not ashamed (ok, I totally am - I refuse to add it to my DVR for fear of being discovered). I haven't taken the quiz but I fear I'd be Holly. You?
That is a LOT of cereal. I'm curious to know what type of stash that is. I mean, is that a "might take us through the end of the week" amount of cereal or is that an "if the world ends and we need to survive on nothing but cereal for months until we develop our hunting skills" amount?
I was Holly, but I think there's a lot of Bridget in me too. I think the breakdown is that my purest intentions are very Holly (organized, competent, mature), but my actions are very Bridget (cats in dresses).
RE: cereal.
1. We only go grocery shopping about once a month.
2. I eat a lot of cereal.
3. Good Mormons have a two-year supply of food on hand. For the apocalypse.
4. Simon was the one who put that many boxes in our shopping cart.
You know what? I'm about to possibly adopt a kitten, and I think his name is now Puffin. It's decided. :)
I also thought Puffin would be an excellent name for a kitten.
Puffiiiiiin!
I'm not pretending to know who you guys really are or what you guys really need based on the posts I've read, but, I want to wish both of you the best. Creating a strong relationship is a lot easier than maintaining one.
Glad to hear things are calm and level.
So glad you're not going to become a virgin again.
Oh, and glad things are working out. Yesterday seemed like a hard day.
PS--shhhh...I watch the Girls Next Door from time to time too. I'm just not a faithful watcher. I'm particularly fond of the main girlfriend, but the second one is who I'd like to be. The young one bugs the hell out of me. Though I'm pretty sure there is no money in the world that would get me in bed with that wrinkle-y thing.
Alex and I both watch The Girls Next Door and I just took the quiz and I am Holly. Which works out well because I like her best.
three things:
1. i had this friend from toronto who *insisted* she didn't say "aboot" and she was half right. . . she didn't say "aboot" but she also didn't pronounce it the U.S. way either. . . for the longest time i thought of it as "abouoot" but jenb nailed the pronunciation, it *is* abowt, but the "bow" part sounds like the ribbon thing you put on a present, not like the thing you do at the end of a performance. . . what was extra funny was when i flew up to toronto for her wedding and all her friends and relatives not only said "abowt", but they also all insisted that they didn't!. . .
2. although i too am a fan of strawberry special k, heart to heart, and flavored instant oatmeal, i find your lack of cocoa pebbles, captain crunch crunchberries, apple jacks, and/or froot loops. . . disturbing. . .
3. glad to hear you guys are talking it out and not shoving everything away into a closet. . .
Bloopy--Usually there's about four boxes of frosted miniwheats in there too, but TJ's was OUT OF THEM. I died right there in aisle four.
When I need a morning sugar fix I usually just snort lines of smarties.
yes! back to back tv and chilling on the couch... makes me jealous. Sounds like a great time of refreshing. Thanks for the update for all of us... still sending happy thoughts and whatever you need.
Glad to hear things are being worked out.
And damn, I want Harrison Ford's face to greet me every morning when I go to get cereal! That's an idea worth stealing.
Glad to hear that you guys are talking and getting some understanding. Hopefully it all continues and things get back to better.
:)
Mmmm that Harrison pic is from the Sabrina poster, isn't it? I love that film. Totty + cereal = tasty breakfast!
Good afternoon from sunny downtown Reykjavík! It's an awful nice day here, far too mild for February at the edge of the earth. The geese were even out skating on a pond. Well, off to London ...
Just to clear up the Canadian accent thing - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_raising. You are all hearing a boot because you don't have a similar sound in your accent. We actually sound closer to a boat.
All is right with the world again.
I second the resounding sigh of relief heard round your readership. And hurrah for the talking! I hope it does you both good.
Also, I have never seen The Girls Next Door, but I *did* have a dream about Hugh Hefner which I believe proves that I'd watch the show given the opportunity, and then I'd proceed to feel ashamed of and conflicted about it: I dreamt that I met Hef somewhere, and he was just lovely and kind and oh so very charming that he utterly won me over, until after the fact, when I berated myself for being a bad feminist because I hadn't taken him to task for his and his magazine's objectification of women and reinforcement of harmful stereotypes, etc., etc.
Yes, my dreams usually involve a lot of TALKING. Again, hurrah for the talking! :)
We like the Kashi crunch stuff better.
Here's to weathering storms and singing hobo songs.
Completely addicted to the Girls. Also completely addicted to the vast array of Internet gossip available on them. Which one's really gay/bi? Which one's really kinky? Which one's really in love? Which one's in it for the money?
New episodes start soon - squee!
so glad to have gotten that out of my system
thinking about both of you. you guys can make it through. :)
The thing I love most about you, Leah, is that even if you hurt you never make that about someone else's bad points. You hurt and can be honest without being ugly about it. I hope everyone can be so great when things start to get tough.
And if I could make good brownies (and not the kind you'd prefer to share with a dog instead of a man) I'd totally send them. :-)
I LURVE the Girls Next Door. They are fascinating and foxy and sweetly slutty all at once (focus on the sweet).
(And ahem, Kendra's grill, is all.)
And I miss you guys.