January 11, 2007
Cold Day in Hell
Remember that little bit about the weather finally getting warmer here? Let's update that to HELL IS FREEZING OVER AND I CAN'T FEEL MY EXTREMITIES. As for the Great Chicken Crockery of Aught Seven, the chicken did indeed get all the salmonella boiled out of it, which certainly counts as a minor success, but I'm not sure if the carcass was supposed to collapse into a soup of flesh hunks and bones the way it did. I expected it to stay intact in its little plucked-chicken shape, but I guess I was incorrectly envisioning this as a smaller version of nicely browned roast turkey, which duh. The end result was fine and tasty if not a little laborious to eat, but I can't imagine making another one anytime soon, mostly because when I was giving the chicken its salt-and-pepper rubdown yesterday morning, I noticed that the little tail nubbin had HAIRS GROWING OUT OF IT, and even typing it now gives me shivers to the tips of my frostbitten toes.
***
To update you on our cable situation, apparently we were delivered a regular cable box when we ordered a superdeluxeawesome HD one ("It's like they're playing football right there in our living room!"), and now that the mix-up has been resolved, we have All The Channels SoHelpMeGod. I want to pluck out my eyes with the shoulder-pins from my toga.*
In related cable news, I'm in a bit of a moral mobius over something that happened with the guy who installed our cable. Just as he finished up the job and was all set to leave, our landlord poked his head in to tell us that one of his brand new drills was missing from the basement, which is where the cable guy had spent the afternoon drilling holes through our floors. Simon told the cable guy the landlord was missing a drill and that although he (Simon) was sure he (the cable guy) didn't steal the drill (yeah right), he (Simon) and the landlord wanted to take a look in his (the cable guy's) truck just so they could let him leave without wondering "what if." The cable guy shifted from one foot to the other, began sweating profusely, and, had he a waxed moustache that curled up at the tips, he would have pinched the ends with a villainous sneer and said something along the lines of bwahahahaha. He sent Simon and the landlord out to peer through the windows of his locked truck, and when they came back with nothing to report, he packed up and sped away in a sinister cloud of dust. The next morning, the landlord found the drill outside next to the garage door, obviously left there in the middle of the night by the thieving cable guy.
So, being that the drill was stolen, do we call the cable company and report the incident? Or being that the drill was returned, do we just let it go? And being that a confirmed larcenist spent half a day looking at our extensive and expensive media and musical equipment, do we build a twenty-foot concrete wall around the lot and dig a moat for the gators? Or are we now safe from this particular burglar because he should be smart enough to know that if anything is taken from our house, he'll be the prime suspect? What do you think? Do we tattle or rest in fitful silence or hire a sniper?
*Fifty gold stars if you know what this is from.
Posted by Leah at January 11, 2007 03:09 PMYou could find out where he lives and leave an axe in the doorframe or something. I personally would wanna tattle, to make sure the cable company knows what's going on... I mean he's on WORK time. But then again. He did bring it back.
Don't you love indefinite answers?
the only thing i can think of for the gold stars/toga business is Animal House
Posted by: Alyce at January 11, 2007 04:26 PMHmmm... interesting question. The only break-in our building's ever had occurred a few months before we moved in (seven years ago). The same person hit 4 of the apartments in our small complex.
It was the cable guy.
You can still see where he punched a hole through our back screen door. (The landlord never replaced it, but he did install a bolt for our back door, which we always keep locked.)
Posted by: gimmy (remember me?) at January 11, 2007 05:30 PMOedipus? Eye pokey reference? Yes? No?
Posted by: Cora at January 11, 2007 05:41 PM50 gold stars to Cora (who needs to update her blog)!
Posted by: Leah at January 11, 2007 05:45 PMwow. this is like, what do you do if you know someone cheated but you can't prove it. do you report it? or do you let it go?
it depends on how irked you are. if the guy got to your moral base, and you are angry, report it. if you are annoyed and are likely to be over it by tomorrow, then don't. he may or may not have learned his lesson. but karma is a b!tch.
Posted by: jeorg at January 11, 2007 06:22 PMRaw chicken GROSSES ME OUT even though I cook it. Have you seen that commercial where she rubs it over the fridge to show the bacteria in the dish cloth? Makes me want to barf!
Posted by: Angella at January 11, 2007 08:13 PMPersonally, I would report it. In this kind of situation I try to think not just about the fact that I got my stuff back, but what happens to the next family? You caught him this time, but maybe the next house he hits won't notice in time and he makes off with their grandma's silver, or something that may have a lot of sentimental meaning to them.
Posted by: Frank at January 12, 2007 07:48 AMIt's sort of circumstantial evidence, and you did get the drill back. I guess I would let it go....but maybe I'm a wimp and really just afraid that he would lose his job and then retaliate in a mean way.
Posted by: lainey at January 12, 2007 09:00 AMIt's negative 16 with wind chill in Denver - does that make you feel any warmer/better? Probably not...
Posted by: rosie at January 12, 2007 09:07 AMWell, since you do have an extensive media collection that a now-know thief has witnessed, I would advise you to report the incident. It would be good to have such a thing on record should anything ever occur. So he brought it back. That was only because he was caught before he left. And you didn't pull the "if you put it back, you won't get in trouble" strategy.
Report him. Make him really learn his lesson. The holiday season is over now, no need to be merciful under that guise.
Posted by: Rebecca at January 12, 2007 09:34 AMYou guys are coming up with all of the same arguments we have, and on both sides of the fence. I think the biggest thing I'm worried about is that if we report him and he loses his job, he'll have something against us plus nothing to lose, which means we'll be target #1. Such a tough call.
Posted by: Leah at January 12, 2007 10:32 AMbe so happy you are not kosher. kosher chickens are never clean. whenever i make chicken i have to spend at least an hour plucking out hairs and errant feather roots out of the skin. i also have to do this for turkeys.
we eat a lot of fish an skinless chicken breasts.
Posted by: lisa at January 12, 2007 10:58 AMPerhaps wait a little while and then report? It definitely doesn't sound like a good idea to just totally drop it for the sake of all the future people getting cable installed. But if you give it a week or two it might be less obvious that you guys were the ones reporting him, esp. if he's taking stuff from homes all the time.
Posted by: seejanebee at January 12, 2007 11:00 AMI would say something about it to the company. What's to say that he hasn't done it before and won't do it again. Then maybe they'll feel bad and give you free cable service or at least show up on the early side of the 12 hour service window that they offer you, during the next go round.
My other suggestion would be the sniper route and you could pick him off and do away with him the next time he stops by to ensure you get Bravo.
Posted by: Heather B. at January 12, 2007 11:16 AMI think you should definitly let the cable co know, b/c maybe they have had complaints like that before...and needed more proof. Tricky one though.
Posted by: Jenny at January 12, 2007 11:25 AMWhat if he comes back to exact revenge on you after you cost him his job?
Posted by: will at January 12, 2007 11:30 AMI'm with Angella on the raw chicken. Eugh. Such a pity I love it so much when it's cooked.
As for the cable guy, well, he did return the drill, which makes him a thief minus, but for peace of mind I'd still give the cable company the whole story. And you don't know he hasn't nicked/returned worse from other people's basements...
Posted by: Cath at January 12, 2007 01:02 PMTattle. Actions should have consequences. He returned the drill because he got caught, not because he felt guilty. Be careful not to confuse "Do The Right Thing" with C.Y.A.
Posted by: patches at January 12, 2007 01:02 PMWhat part of murderous revenge do you people not understand?
Posted by: will at January 12, 2007 02:39 PMThat just proves my theory that anything even only remotely associated with the cable TV industry is pure evil.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at January 14, 2007 12:07 PM#1: Because I was away for the weekend visiting friends, #2: Because I'm a brat and #3: Because I like gold stars, I need to say that I too knew that the the "pluck out my eyes with the shoulder-pins from my toga" reference is most definitely from Oedipus Rex. I even saw the opera. In Latin. Can I have some gold stars too? Please?
Posted by: Shirley at January 14, 2007 07:51 PM
