Patchwork Quilt
Although I'm not entirely sure it's correct to verb this particular noun, I'm nevertheless telling everyone I see that we're crocking a chicken today. This morning between showering and brewing our P. J. Bibs* Simon and I prepped a chicken--stuffing it with apples and celery and sprinkling it with salt, pepper, and rosemary--and then laid it down in a warm bath--combination water, the juice and zest of one lemon, and crescents of white onion--for an eight-hour spa soak, after which we will tear it limb from limb and devour it with our bare hands like savages while watching Godfather III, which is only appropriate. In all the a.m. crockery bustle, I forgot to eat breakfast, which sucks, but I also forgot to wear a bathrobe over my work clothes all morning to visually emphasize how cold I am, which was good, so I think I broke even if not came out ahead because, hey, ya'll, we're crocking a chicken and the weather's getting warmer!
***
The sweater blanket my family made us is here! Some of the squares have buttons and pockets, which is probably the sweetest thing that's happened to a blanket ever. Last night we hunkered down beneath its wooly goodness for a spell, but not before setting the self-timer on the camera to capture the moment because that's what we do. Notice how I am convincingly watching the tv while Seņor Hambone there is breaking the fourth wall and destroying all illusion of candidness. Because we have a personal photographer follow us around to capture intimate moments from our daily lives like we're the Kennedys or something. Yeah.
***
It's been about a week since I started crafting some change-of-address cards to let out-of-the-loop family and friends know that I'm no longer living in Berkeley above the jockey but rather in Oakland, with my lovah, under the guy who sings Chinese opera to himself during sunset. When I say I am "crafting" the cards, I mean that I picked up some colorful and decidedly unwintery pre-fabs from Target, crookedly cut out rectangles of cardstock printed with the new address, and then stacked everything neatly on the coffeetable, where it will remain for an indefinite and surely ridiculous amount of time.
The hold-up is that I got a notion to include one of those those gawdawful-but-I-love-them-anyway year-end letters people send out for Christmas. You know, the ones in which parents itemize their children, distilling their complex little existences into two sentences about how old they are and at which sports they particularly excel? Does anybody care about those things? I mean, anybody but me, the one who has to squeeze back tears while watching Super8 home movies of someone else's dead grandparents, whom I have never met, because I am overcome with nostalgia for a past that isn't even mine?
I think my hang-up about whether to include a letter like that in these cards is that I mostly want to do it to show off. Lord knows I don't think twice about congratulating myself on the internet every day, but to me that's a special sort of vanity project that mostly makes sense in context, and I don't think that kind of thing carries over well in a formletter format, nor should it. Or maybe it does and it should. And maybe the family and friends who haven't even the slightest clue about I've been up to this year would just love a brief missive on our trips abroad and Simon's triathlons and Eve's pretty pink nails. And maybe deep down I already know that no one really cares a fig about what I do but I will nevertheless convince myself that they care and care deeply because I really really really want to brag about how we went to weddings in England and Mexico, and how Simon got Lasik, bought up all the sunglasses in the world, and then swam from Alcatraz, and how I rode across the Golden Gate Bridge on my pink bike while it was very very windy.
Internets, is it lame to include a 2006 recap letter with my change-of-address cards? And even if it is, do you think that will stop me?
***
Simon is out of clean underwear, so instead of rewearing a used pair, he went commando in his jeans today. Internets, would you rather go commado or rewear your cleanest set of underpants? And would your answer change depending on whether you're wearing jeans or dress slacks, or if you're sitting around at home or going to an important meeting that afternoon?
***
Finally, there's still plenty of time to delurk here. (Regular commenters can play too!) If you think I'm too cool to care about how many comments I get, especially when I come right out and ask for them, you are very very wrong, so please say hello if you haven't already. If I don't get at least one more comment than I did last year, I might just sob dramatically, throw in the towel, and delete the whole blog, leaving you nothing but a 404 Page Not Found error and no one to blame but yourselves. Or maybe I'll just, you know, get over it and move on with my life. My parents did always say I talked so much mostly just to hear the sound of my own voice...*echo echo*
*P. G. Tips a la Simon's mom.
The year-recap letters may be lame but oh how I love them. I didn't include this one with my cards this year (because I'm lazy) but I love receiving and reading them. Lame? Nerdy? Probably yes to both but I heartily admit it.
I Love the quilt! Especialy the buttons! Things like that make items so special and unique.
Love that he went comando. Jeans is one piece of clothing I could never do that in.
ok, this is a little nasty to be posting up on someone else's blog, even if it is in the comments only, but you asked.
and i would totally go commando rather than wear my cleanest set of dirty underpants. because no matter how much cleaner it is than the next set, it's still dirty. but i'd also probably wear pants made of a softer material than denim, because speaking from experience, the crotch seam of your jeans can get seriously seriously uncomfortable.
comment slut.
i would never ever not have a clean pair of underwear. seriously. but commando would be my choice.
and i LOVE those christmas letters. and you are witty and funny and i would love to get yours, so there.
oh, and i can get you PG tips any old time. Lemme know. and Mister 2 Big chocolate bars too.
You most certainly can include a newsletter in your change of address cards. Which reminds me...
You two look warm with El Blanket O'Love. I likey.
And finally... I cannot be convinced to go commando. Probably ever. Which means that if you ever see me and you are the Internets and I tell you that I haven't done laundry anytime recently, you will know PRECISELY what is occuring inside my bottoms.
JenB! You remember how much I loved the Mister 2 Big! (I mean, who wouldn't?)
Here's the real challenge--can you hook me up with P.G. Tips Decaf?
I've delurked once before, but update letters get me all hyped, too. This year, because I was lazy, I did a photo update with small captions for about ten photos. It was swell!
Our rule is, pants should never be worn at home, and underwear is totally optional. I myself prefer to go au naturale mostly (depends if we are expecting company haha). In public though, is a different matter. I ALWAYS have cleen underdaks for public.
*raises hand, guilty of recap letters* Love love LOVE that quilt. I bet the personal touches that went into it make it an additional 33% warmer! And the pockets - perfect for that stash of Doritos or M&Ms during a DVD or midnight snack :) Also, I heard the reason Tencil jeans were so popular way back when is the softer seams made going commando that much more comfy...yeah? ;)
delurking...
I have never ever run out of clean underwear. I honestly have enough pairs to go close to a month and a half without doing laundry. They're not all pretty, but it's great to have the b-team handy when you need it.
If, hypothetically, I was traveling and stranded without luggage, I'd either go the pantyliner route in the dirties, or probably take the time to do the handwash and blow dry-even if it meant being late. Better late than Britney!! (This would never actually happen-I always put a clean pair in my carry on, what can I say, I'm anal and weird, but the carry on panties have come in handy more than once!)
I think I might turn my underwear inside out before I would dare put a denim seam that close to my body.
Ouch!
Delurking...
I love the end of the year recap letters. When I visit my parents for Christmas, I even read ones sent to my parents by people I don't know.
And I definitely vote commando.
I have never gone commando to work, but I've been known to make many a trip to Walmost and/or McDonald's sans undergarments. there's is something wickedly fun about standing in line at the store, thinking to yourself, "No one knows I'm not wearing underwear." Followed by "Or that when I get home, I'm going to have wickedly awesome sex."
Happy de-lurking week! :)
My take on year-end letters as a single chick w/o kids/pets/whathaveyou, I really like getting them but have always resisted sending them.
I'm busy and while I keep in touch with close friends and family, I don't do a good job at all of letting extended family or the friends I'm not super close to know about changes or things I've done. When I sent Xmas cards out this year it occurred to me that at least half of my list didn't even know I'd moved... from CO to DC which is kinda big. ;-) So, anyway, looong-winded way to say that I've resolved to start sending them next year just to do a brief recap of what's been going on. I will try to avoid bragging (too much ;-)).
You should send them because you have cool things to tell. I only went to a wedding in Utah. In the freezing, freezing cold. Where I was required to wear a short black dress with short sleeves. For a sister who hadn't bothered to give me the time of day since getting engaged. I'm not bitter. :)
Love the quilt, I'm definitely a sucker for them.
I like getting newsletters, it's nice to have the peek into a friend's life.
I vote commando, but maybe not in jeans. I've found leather pants are perfectly comfortable sans underwear, though.
Let us know how the crocking goes....I love my crock pot and am always looking for new recipes.
I'm way too prudish to go commando. I would recycle.
I think that if recap letters are wll written and have a dose of humour they are generally well received. Go for it.
Also...commando in pants? Kind of gross.
But commando in a summer skirt is fine. No visible panty lines!
Gah. Lately every comment I leave is full of typos. I suck.
I would go the inside-out route for jeans, or commando for less-irritating fabric.
I found it interesting that every single giftmas card we got this year was either a photo or included a photo of the people who sent it (or their children) except the one from my grandma. And the one we sent out? a photo, doctored up by the Hulk, of course. As for those letters, why not? You do a lot of fun things - people love to read about them on your blog, why wouldn't they like to read about them in a letter?
And I covet your quilt. Someday I might have to steal that idea.
I'm strongly considering getting Lasik done myself. Has Simon had any side effects? Dry eyes? Weird halos around the lights at night? Can you let me know where he got his done? I'm seriouly sick of wearing glasses.
Oh yeah, and my mom sends out those newsletters every year. She mostly brags about being the grandmother of triplets. But hell, I do the same about being an aunt of triplet nephews.
Oy, we love PG Tips, and we had an emergency last night when we ran out, so we just had to drive out in the "blizzard" to get some more. Our evenings go all pear-shaped without it.
Love, love the sweater quilt.
Not at all uncool to send a year-end letter.
Um, never will I ever go commando. I'd wear week-old underwear before I do. Lindsay, Britney, Paris I am not. Trousers or no trousers, my knickers are staying on.
I think I'd go commando.
I'm still deciding how I feel about those year-end letters. I usually end up feeling like I accomplished nothing when I read them!
I love P.G. Tips!
LOVE the quilt. send the letter - the old fogey nerd in me likes to get them. my brain can't fathom not having a single pair of clean underwear or the ability to buy or wash underwear quickly save being stranded in the wilderness without soap. but whatever floats your boat!
That is the loveliest sweater blanket I've ever seen.
And stick with crafting the cards. My cousin-in-law designed and handmade the holiday cards she sent out this year. And though mine arrived almost two weeks late, I cherish it because it's so *her*.
As for the unmentionables -- when I know I'm about to run out of clean underwear and can't muster the energy to do laundry, I just buy new pairs at the Filene's Basement on the way home. (I do this too often to mention)
Though if I absolutely must choose between going commando or rewearing a pair... I think... I'll go with rewearing. No way do I want to be associated with the likes of Britney/Lindsay/Paris.
Hello.
Hi Leah,
Delurking but begrudgingly so. I love reading your blog and have been avoiding comments forever because I don't want to get "involved" if you know what I mean. But I feel I owe it to you. So love to you. Never stop writing.
And yay to Christmas letters. I wrote them for my family when I was younger-- I felt like it was the only way to express my creativity and the feedback people would give in their cards the next year was worth it. So never doubt the Xmas letter. If there's humour in it and it's not all pompus assery, they are awesome. Any kind of communication between friends/family is better than none. So thanks for all your wonderful writing and maybe I'll delurk again next year!
A
You just described my Christmas letter...I am so very, very lame. But you're not - brag away!
PS - sweet blanket!
luuuuuuuuuuuurve the quilt.
am very jealous.
De-lurking a little late in the game here. I am a LOVER of those ridiculous Christmas letters. I go to my parents house and read all of them, including letters which cover the highlights of lives of complete strangers. I particularly like to read the ones from the wealthy friends ("my son starred on Broadway this year, my husband and I safari-ed in Timbuktu, my daughter was crowned princess of a small European country, we bought a small cottage in Manhattan overlooking Central Park"). Anyway, great blog and great that it's all about you! Not kids! Including cat stories!