A Girl...

We Are the Champions*

Our busy weekend started yesterday, and I'm fortifying myself with chocolate and vanilla pudding cups. If you were to tell me I would have to do Activities A, B, C, and D in the span of four days, I'd probably smack you, and as it is, you'd better run because we're doing Activities A, B, C, and D in just two and a half days, and tomorrow the fun starts at 5 o'fuck in the morning.

Happily, A, B, C, and D are each delightful activities in and of themselves, and the only stress comes from having them back to back to back to back, spanning from early in the morning to late at night. Perhaps the biggest deal of all is Simon's first triathlon, but the real silver lining on that one is that my major responsibility is as Supportive Bystander, which, contrary to what that official title would have you believe, doesn't actually require any "standing." If things go as planned, I will spend the morning sitting or sprawling in the shade with a cool beverage while several hundred insane people swim, bike, and run around in the 90 degree heat (that's 32 Celsius for the Canucks out there; does it get that hot in the tundra?) for little more than the glory of accomplishment. As my dad would say, that and seventy-five cents will get you a coffee at 7-11.

But really, I'm extremely proud of Simon for taking on the challenge and training lo these many weeks with such enthusiasm and dedication. I'm so proud I'll probably even hug him when he hurls his sweat-slimy body across the finish line and begs me to drag him into the bushes to vomit. I don't think that's actually going to happen, but I like to plan for the worst. If any puking does occur, I want to be able to stand by (!) and pat his back instead of cover my face with my sunhat and pretend I'm dead of heatstroke because EW.

As you go into this weekend, please, if you can spare a few moments between obsessively checking Amanda's blog for baby news (membranes! stripped!), send a big Care Bear Stare of goodwishes for Simon to have a healthy back and knees and a smooth finish that doesn't involve "woofing his cookies" near the bike rack.

I'll see you all on the other side of next week, when we just might have a webcast up detailing the triathlon or the company bbq or our Recover from Triathlon and Celebrate Your Status as a Newly Minted God with a double feature of Clash of the Titans and Xanadu. Have a good weekend, everybody, and get some exercise for crying out loud.

*Grammar Lesson of the Day: Verbs are always capitalized in headline-style titles, no matter their size. People are always forgetting to cap "is" and
"are," and that bothers me.