A Girl...

Simon Says - "I Like Mine Extra Chunky"

Today I am eating one of my favorite lunches. It is:

- Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
- Cup of coffee

I think I may be in the vast minority on this one, but I love the combination of PBJ and coffee. I don't remember when I started eating this dynamic duo, but it has been a while. Don't get me wrong, the classic PBJ and milk is still the top combo, but there is something lovely about the PBJ and coffee combo.

I think I may have started eating this pair when I worked at the Multiple Sclerosis Research Center. Don't get all impressed by how smart I must be to have had such a job - I was a lowly research assistant. I did the grunt work (interviews, paperwork, data entry, etc.) not the fun stuff. But it was my first REAL job. I would drink coffee all day - this part was not unlike my part-time high school and college summer job at a coffee house, but now I was drinking my forty cups a day while sitting at a desk. I would also eat my PBJ's at my desk, so I think that the pairing was inevitable.

There went another bite and sip - God, I love it.

So here's what I want to say about my life and PBJ:

When I lived in England my Jr. Year of College, I did volunteer work in a psychology clinic in Barnsley. If you know Barnsley, then you may be able to imagine the dreary setting that it was. The staff at the clinic really made it an enjoyable experience, though. I liked having a group of friends that was non-student, that I could sort-of work with, have lunch with, carpool with... I got a taste of the real world in England one day a week, rather than campus life all the time. There is a real difference in the qualities of these lives; campus life is different from "real life" no matter where you are.

I liked working at the clinic because I had no real responsibilities. I helped where I could, I ran a research project with no deadline, I listened to the radio, I did paperwork, I drank tea (as a volunteer, my 35 pence-per-day tea donation was waived, so I drank as much as I could), and I went to lunch with my mates.

One day in the cafeteria, one of my mates asked me (with a look on her face that suggested that she feared the answer) if I had ever eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Had I ever eaten one? I'd eaten thousands! It's the single greatest cheap lunch food in the world! Of course I'd eaten PBJ, I grew up on the stuff!

A wrinkled nose showed me that the answer she feared was the answer that I gave. A look at my co-diners told me that they were also a bit grossed out.

commentary: In their disgust at my admission of eating crushed legumes and fruit preserves, they all had another bite of neon-green mushy peas with their congealed pig-blood loaf.

So I offered to bring lunch for everyone next week. They all had to bring 40 pence for their own milk - required - but I would supply the sandwiches.

Here's what it was like:

- taking your new girlfriend around your home town, pointing out all the important places in your past
- Introducing your new friends to your oldest and dearest mate
- Watching your favorite movie with someone who's never even heard of it

What fun I had that day! I brought quality wheat bread, paid out the nose for enough peanut butter to do the job (had to get about 8 tiny little jars in the exotic foods section of Tesco), and I managed to get some nice strawberry preserves. I even brought a small jar of grape jelly for those who wanted that variety, although my own PBJ philosophy strictly prohibits it.

I gave a short instructional seminar about the right way to make the sandwich (pb to the edge, make sure that the bread is lined up right, etc), and then supervised, assisted, and answered questions that came up.

They all (every single one) did the following:

- Sniffed their sandwiches
- Wrinkled their noses
- Took a tiny bite
- Chewed slowly, and concentrated
- Nodded and smiled
- Took a big bite

I had to remind some of them to take a sip of milk! Add a sip of milk! It completes the experience! Don't swallow the whole bite first, mix it up in there! Get it all good and soggy!

What a joyous day. I was momentarily a hero - admired for bringing a little of the exotic to plain old little Barnsley. Spring was approaching, and this little adventure lent a breath of rebirth a few weeks early.

Epilogue:

Later on, one of them told me that the reason people get so wigged out about Peanut Butter and Jelly is that what we in the USA call Jello, they call Jelly. So they had been imagining Peanut Butter and JELLO Sandwiches, which I agree would be nasty.