April 06, 2006

Simon Says - "Some People Never Learn" ***UPDATE***

Just a quickie here...

Today I was at the gym, putting on my swimsuit. As I was pulling on my suit, a large man walked into the locker room and over to his locker.

"DAMMIT!" he yelled. As he kicked the locker, he muttered an obscenity. "My bag is gone!"

So he went out to get an employee. He came back in with the employee, and showed him the empty locker.

"Did you use a lock?" asked the employee.

"No, I didn't," quoth the large man.

The employee told the large man that all he could really do is tell the people at the front desk, who could file a police report.

After the employee left, the large man said to no one in particular, "this is the second time this has happened."

I didn't actually shake my head, as the large man was really large. But on the inside, I wondered how many bags he would have to lose before he started using a lock.

I don't often throw around the word "retard," but if I were to do so, this would be the time. As in, "what a retard."

The end.

UPDATE:

It has been requested that I not post a picture of me in my speedo, but I think I actually look OK in it. So even though I wasn't planning to before, I am going to. Those who wish to see should continue reading...

Here it is. Last summer at Daytona. Enjoy.

speedo me.bmp

Posted by Simon at April 6, 2006 11:37 PM
Comments

Oh dear lord, please don't post a picture of you *in* that swimsuit.

I'm sure you're lovely and all...but...just...don't.

Posted by: candace at April 7, 2006 06:24 AM

See, I thought this was a Leah post, and so I'm thinking "Maybe you're in the wrong LOCKERROOM, dumbass."

Now THAT'S just stupid.

Posted by: angie at April 7, 2006 07:18 AM

I'm with Candace on this one. JUST DON'T!!

Posted by: Ted at April 7, 2006 10:55 AM

Whatever, Captain Underpants.

Posted by: Leah at April 7, 2006 11:02 AM

I've never understood that either. At my gym, sometimes I open 5 lockers before I find one that doesn't have someone's stuff in it. And you'd think the guy would have learned after the stealage of bag #1?

Posted by: mle at April 7, 2006 12:23 PM

Love the bling, Simon. And the hairy gut. :)

Posted by: Amanda at April 7, 2006 01:20 PM

One word. Manimal.

:)

Posted by: Angella at April 7, 2006 01:24 PM

I still get confused sometime. I thought that Leah was posting (yes, even though it says Simon Says...) and I was like... WHOA, a MAN walked in WHILE SHE WAS CHANGING?!?! lol.

Posted by: Jason at April 7, 2006 02:29 PM

Exactly why I stopped leaving my kids in the unsecure lockers.

Posted by: will at April 7, 2006 02:33 PM

This is why I love reading! You are always in for a suprise and a laugh.

Posted by: Kate at April 7, 2006 03:14 PM

Note to Candace: DON'T LOOK!! I was drawn in thinking, it would'nt be. But, it WAS!

Simon, I did notice the group you were "trying to hang with" though. Was this before you switched teams again?

Posted by: Ted at April 7, 2006 03:24 PM

If you didn't have a girlfriend, I might have to jump on you with a body like that. LOL!

I'm a stickler for carrying a lock to the gym. I don't trust nobody! Even at the nicest gyms people will steal, so it's just better to be safe than sorry. I give it 10 more stolen bags before this moron learns this lesson.

Posted by: Liz at April 7, 2006 05:45 PM