March 28, 2006
Delicate Constitutional Convention
I have what you might call a "sensitive" digestive system. Sensitive and fickle, because it's not even consistent in its intolerance of All Things Food. Some days I can eat several slices of pepperoni, olive, mushroom, and pineapple pizza and be fine, and other days I barely get through a bowl of morning cereal before my body decides that nourishment is offensive and therefore the contents of my stomach and intestines must be immediately expelled. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, and--maybe worse--I've only just finished my meal and I'm still hungry.
This is why I hate going out to eat at restaurants or, worse, eating at someone else's house. For one, I spend the whole night worrying if I have any residue in my teeth from my pre-emptive ingestion of Pepto Bismol tablets, and two, I have to worry about the bathroom being within hearing and smelling distance of the dining room in case disaster strikes. Yes, the dreaded public poo. (How's this for some good Tuesday afternoon reading?)
Then there's the unfortunate circumstance of beholding a spread of barbeque ribs and fried shrimp and seven-layer fiesta dip and sweet-and-sour pork, and yet my plate consists of a modest arrangement of bread, cheese, celery sticks, olives, and sugar cookies. Rice is fine if it's white and plain, and sometimes a slice of ham is okay (even though I don't really like ham), but you get the point, and lo, that point is very, very bland.
It's IBS, I'm sure of it, but the thing about IBS is, yay, the medical professionals have given it a nice, legit technical name and a few hundred websites, and I can now feel validated that I have a "condition"--even better, a condition shared by one in five people!--but there's really nothing to be done to cure or prevent it except "avoid foods that can be irritants," which, thanks, I'll just be eating non-dairy popsicles from here on out.
One of the most trying aspects is that when I go out to eat and just order a small garden salad or a BLT (hold the mayo), someone inevitably makes a comment about how I'm not eating anything and that must be why I'm so skinny, and then I get labeled as the Girl Who Eats Rabbit Food in Public Because She Doesn't Want Anyone to See Her Pig Out, and When She Gets Home She's Going to Pull Out from Under Her Bed that Box of Candy Bars and Doritos and Have a Big Happy Binge, That Bitch. I think I saw a made-for-tv-movie like that once.
Two falls ago when I was camping with a group of people somewhere between being acquaintances and friends, we all paid thirty-five bucks each for an all-you-can-eat buffet at the schmancy Ahwahnee Lodge in Yosemite. This was to be our meal before packing into a too-small car for the hour-long drive on winding canyon roads, and you already know where I'm going with this, don't you? For thirty-five bucks, my companions had eggs and bacon and waffles and juice and homefries and three-egg omeletes and breakfast burritos. And donuts and bagels with lox and shrimp cocktail and oysters on the half shell. And milk, three kinds of coffee, and four kinds of juice. And chocolate cake. This is each person.
And I? Had an English muffin with apricot jelly, three strips of bacon, a handfull of strawberries, a tiny glass of o.j., and a large water. With a Pepto Bismol chaser. Thirty-five dollars. Flush. And thus I become The Girl with the Food Issues.
I know there are much worse things people could think of me behind my back (and probably do), but it still sucks. And then I have this tendency toward "compulsive disclosure"--in an effort to avoid being misunderstood, I end up being a little more open about myself than casual company is prepared for. It's not uncommon that sometime before the main course arrives I've regales my fellow diners with Tales from Beyond the Duodenum, and nobody wants to sit next to me for the rest of the day. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but still, should digestive functions ever be brought up over brunch? I think not.
In summary, judge ye not she who does not eat for sometimes starving is the least worst option.
You're listening to your body and no one has the right to slam you for doing so. But still, damn you for being so skinny. :) I wish I had IBS. Just kidding, of course. You look great and I think you've got a wise approach to taking care of your sensitive tummy. If people are going to make assumptions based on your limited food intake, then they deserve to hear stories about your explosive diarrhea.
Posted by: Amanda at March 28, 2006 03:27 PMLadies and gentlemen: Amanda! *applause*
Posted by: Leah at March 28, 2006 03:57 PMleah, please do not feel bad about this. i too have horrible digestive woes. HORRIBLE. i have often felt like i have ibs, but have not done anything about it other than cut out some preservatives. but i have had some very embarrassing moments in my life about this. horrible. i feel for you.
Posted by: jeorg at March 28, 2006 04:05 PMPeople say the same thing to me, too, failing to realize that I eat QUICKLY. I don't scarf my food, I just eat quickly, and when people look over and see that I'm done already they say, "oh that's how you stay so thin! don't you want a little more to fill you out?" NO! NOOOO! Then I look like a liar if I tell them the truth, "oh I just eat really fast." Come on. Like that's going to be believed by someone who already *knows* you're anorexic.
Ugh.
My husband's brother has IBS, and it SUCKS! You do what you gotta do to feel good.
And as for the comments from others, I am one who has to eat healthy (and smaller portions), not because of IBS, but because I don't want to be a size 18, and I don't have a naturally high metabolism. I get comments for that too.
Like I said, you do what you gotta do. And if people don't like it, they can STUFF IT :)
I'm sorry. I shall not judge you for eating like a bird, I promise.
Posted by: lainey at March 29, 2006 06:28 AMMy sister is the same way. She doesn't have IBS, she's just incredibly tall and has metabolism that scientists should study. Everyone always assumes that she has some kind of eating disorder and it does get a bit tiring with them always asking if she wants seconds or not. Well, that and asking her if she wants to try out for the basketball or track team...
Anyhoo, I'm with Amanda. You gotta do what you gotta do, and if folks want to question your eating ways I say you share with them why you don't feel like missing half of the day all the time.
Posted by: Sam at March 29, 2006 07:31 AMMy friend Wendy has IBS and we've gotten used to her running from the dinner table in search of the nearest bathroom. She's a good sport about it and we hardly even notice anymore...I hate it for you, though, because I know it must really suck.
Posted by: jennie at March 29, 2006 07:54 AMI had problems with IBS for many months until I tried a co-worker's suggestion: Zantac 75 tablets, twice a day (once in the morning, once at night). In about 3 weeks the IBS started to relinquish its hold on my digestion. Periodically when I get tummy troubles I try this again and it always helps. My pharmacist said there is no problem with taking it longer than recommended on the box (I think it says 2 weeks). I took it for months until my IBS finally went into "remission." Anyway, it's worth a try if you haven't tried it already.
Posted by: Susan at March 29, 2006 08:29 AMI had problems with IBS for many months until I tried a co-worker's suggestion: Zantac 75 tablets, twice a day (once in the morning, once at night). In about 3 weeks the IBS started to relinquish its hold on my digestion. Periodically when I get tummy troubles I try this again and it always helps. My pharmacist said there is no problem with taking it longer than recommended on the box (I think it says 2 weeks). I took it for months until my IBS finally went into "remission." Anyway, it's worth a try if you haven't tried it already.
Posted by: Susan at March 29, 2006 08:30 AMI have serious issues with digestion too...I recently saw a nutritionist who changed my diet completely! People look at me when I eat now as high maintenence and "picky"...yeah, it sort of sucks, but it is sooooo worth it! Screw what anyone thinks ;-)
P.S. I also HIGHLY recommend taking digestive enzymes. It has helped me out tremendously, I can't speak highly enough of them!!!
Posted by: rosie at March 29, 2006 09:46 AMYou are so not alone. I, too, have major dietary issues (IBS and many allergies). However, it is my Guy who has the self-consciousness about it. When dining out, I often look to him when asked what kind of bread I want with my meal (after all, he's the one who'll be eating it). The problem is, he's gotten dirty looks, as if he's so controlling that I'm not allowed to make up my own mind about what I eat. He's taken to giving the waiting-staff explanations.
Posted by: Beth at March 29, 2006 11:47 AMmy mom has IBS so I'm definitely aware of how crap it can be. Besides, eating lightly often is a good thing - it's far healthier than binging every once in a while. And there's nothing wrong with taking care of your health.
Posted by: trish at March 30, 2006 02:45 AM
