October 05, 2005
Fat Boy Slim
I can’t draw.
I like to draw and I wish I could sketch at least somewhat artistically if not realistically, but the fact of the matter is that drawing is not among my many and varied skills. Occasionally, however, those of us who are burdened with talent (ha!) enjoy humbling ourselves by doing things we’re not good at. Okay, who am I kidding, when I was a kid I didn’t care if I sucked and I drew all the time. Albeit only things I had practiced a million times.
Among my repertoire were the following: balloons (often heart-shaped) with little offset concave squares indicating “shine”; rainbows with clouds at either end (pot o’ gold optional); landscapes with trees and flowers and birds flying in the distance like yawning “V”s; a little furry man with a big nose and big feet (you might see him peeking over a sign that said something topical like “rad” or “Punky Brewster is the coolest!”; and a pig.
This pig.
What pointy little hooves! What a delicate yet distinguished snout! The tail, it is curling with such unabashed whimsy! And the exaggerated round body!
Exaggerated indeed.
Observe:
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And now Stan, the cat Simon left town for a weekend to rescue from a life of hard drinking and beating up other cats in back alleys:
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In actuality, he's not tough at all. His hobbies are cuddling, purring, and "kneading biscuits." More photos of his snuggly ginormousism thisa way.
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Whoever guesses his weight the closest gets a prize!
Posted by Leah at October 5, 2005 03:01 PMwhy does that sheep have a giant penis sticking out of it's side?
Posted by: Will at October 5, 2005 03:42 PMsheesh...9.5kg? (dont ask me to convert to pounds...its before 9am on a weekday at work ;)
Posted by: Tan at October 5, 2005 03:44 PM17 pounds
Posted by: beck at October 5, 2005 05:02 PMthat cat weighs at least 22 lbs. i am guessing closer to 24.
and we have that cats little brother. if you want photos of our socks sitting, yes, sitting, like a beer-bellied-old-man, then i will email you a photo...
Posted by: jeorg at October 5, 2005 07:12 PMFrom my experience, it takes time and effort to become good at anything -- especially those things that require finely honed motor skills, such as playing a musical instrument and drawing. I'm certain, for example, that the very first time Beethoven sat down at a klavier he...well, couldn't play it. And I'm equally sure that Leonardo's first efforts with a pencil were scribbles. However, they had a few things that are almost totally lacking nowadays: will, for one thing, and vision, for another. They also LACKED certain things that are virtually omnipresent now: e.g., TV -- the most powerful hypnotic mind-control device ever invented -- and a culturally alien group of self-proclaimed destroyers running...well, just about everything in what is left of Western Civilization. Including, naturally, your TV.
However, it is not yet illegal to live without TV, so a person could boot it out of her/his "life" and, mustering up every trace of that iron Arayan will bequeathed to you in your genes, start the process of waking up.
Who knows but that with sufficient love (i.e., work) you might one day bring tears of soulful human joy to the eyes of others with your drawings.
That would be a wonderful, beautiful and valuable thing to do, Leah.
there you go, give up gilmore girls and you will be able to draw masterpieces
Posted by: chlamygirl at October 6, 2005 05:44 AMThere was a cat I knew in "foster care" that nobody would adopt because it was about 30 pounds. Its name (Tubby) didn't help much either.
I say an even 20 pounds. That feline's got nothing on Tubby.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at October 6, 2005 06:19 AMWow - that cat is enormous. My little furball is a mere 7 pounds.
I'll guess... 23 pounds?
Posted by: treefen at October 6, 2005 09:28 AMThat's one pretty (big) kitty! I guess 25 lbs. One of my cats is 15 lbs and this one is bigger. MUCH bigger.
So far we've got votes for 17, 20, 23, 24, and 25 lbs, and that rogue 9.5 kg. I'll take guesses until Saturday and then announce the winner once we manage to find the scale, put new batteries in it, and stage the ceremonial weigh-in.
Posted by: Leah at October 6, 2005 12:26 PMis the cat wearing a fat suit, because that could change things.
Posted by: chlamygirl at October 6, 2005 02:25 PMGood lord! And I thought Jack was big. I'm going for 21 pounds. Jack weighs 15 and he's dwarfed by Mr. Bigg up there.
Posted by: Feisty at October 6, 2005 03:30 PMI'm going to big high and go with 27 pounds, because that cat is a good deal fatter-looking than my 23-pound fat cat. Love the drawing progression. Heehee.
Posted by: teencake at October 7, 2005 10:28 AM(for the record, 9.5 kg is approx. 20.94370 lbs)
Handy site for that type of conversion and so many more.
Posted by: Beth at December 17, 2005 10:50 PM
