A Girl...

Suck a Fuck

Hello, lovelies. We are very stressed here today at agirlandaboy.com. Advance apologies for the obscenities of which we are about to partake. We have upgraded from OS9 to OSX at work and we have had our G5 replaced with a MacMini (which I am not allowed to use as a coaster) and we are using Safari instead of Netscape 6 (I know...), and now all the fonts in all the programs are too big or too small or too blocky or too fuzzy and all the icons are so fucking cute but not in a good way, and the entire interface is giving me a severe case of whimsy overload and can I go home now, please, and can I take the shortcut out the sixth-story window? Whatever happened to simple? Whatever happened to user friendly? Whatever happened to if it ain't broke don't fix it?

Here's something I don't understand: When new systems give me new! faster! easier! features and new! faster! easier! ways to use the old features, why can't they also give me the option to do things the old, slow, hard way, which is more comfortable! effective! and least likely to cause me a nervous breakdown!? Seriously, wtf is up with taking away my ability to double click on the title bar to collapse a window like a roll-up shade? Why does new! fast! and easy! have to suck the window all the way to the edge of my screen, where I must then drag my poor, withered, arthritic mouse hand when I want to retrieve it? And why, when it gets sucked to the Toolbar of Whimsy, does it have to get sucked so whimsical-like? It looks like a fucking cartoon genie being sucked back into its bottle. Let me take a moment now to say that normally at this point in the act of composing the day's blog entry, I would search my brain or the thesaurus for alternate words for "suck," being that I have used the word ten times in the last paragraph. But not today, my dears, not today. For today "suck" is the perfect word, and I will continue to use it with great frequency and vigor, along with the words "fuck" and "why?!?!" and "I fucking hate this fucking sucky suck fuck."

There, I feel a little bit better now. (But I still want a cupcake.)

So you see I am not in the best of moods today. And that means today is not the day I should tell you about my cool date, which was just one of several simply lovely things that happened over the weekend. Simon. Sigh. Soon.

I should probably just stop here and call it good, but I'm going to press on and share these feelings of crappy, desperate, general out of sortsnesses because maybe getting them out of my head will make them less oppressive and horrible. I won't be offended if you stop reading now.

Okay, so as part of this computer upgrade, everyone got new monitors. Most of the office upgraded from old iMac cubes to 17" flat-screen monitors that are all adustable and space aged and whatnot. I, however, was lucky in having been using a 15" flatscreen monitor for the past three-ish years, and I love it. There was no reason for me to get a new monitor unless someone just couldn't stand not spending an extra $300. But whatever, they set up my new monitor, I was going to suck it up and learn to deal with change, blah blah blah, but when I finally get a chance to sit at my desk and fool with all the new equipment, I can't get past the fact that not only does the text look noticeably fuzzy on the screen, but when I type, the whole monitor jiggles up and down. NOT cool. Turns out my superfantastic IKEA desk is none too sturdy and has always jiggled when I typed, but the bounce has been heretofore undetectable because of the design of my old monitor. Oh, lookee, I have a picture.

So upon realizing that what we have here is the recipe for eye strain, I set about trying to convince the powers that be that I should keep my old monitor, thereby ensuring that 1. I'm happy, 2. I don't sue when I go blind, and 3. we can save money by returning the new monitor for cash or credit. What's not to love? Sadly, we have a Staff Micromanager that gets off on things like "Standard" and "Consistent" and "Uniform" and she needed convincing, not because my idea was bad or unreasonable or anything like that but because I was creating an environment of "irregularity" *gasp shock the horror the horror.* Long story short, I was able to convince everyone that needed convincing, and I kept my perfectly good old monitor. I even turned down the spare 20" widescreen for my regular old 15." But now I'm sure everyone in my office thinks I'm a whiny baby who always gets her way because she's a brat. And while part of that is true, part of it is not. I'm certainly glad to have my way because it made more sense and was more cost effective, etc. etc., but now I feel bad because I have once more finagled my way into "special treatment." Ugh.

So I feel crappy today.

I'm having tea with Kat later this evening so hopefully I will either be in a better mood by then or I will still be in a crappy mood but going out with her will make me feel better.

Anyway. Deep breath. Date details tomorrow. Teaser: we got busted by the cops!

Please email all cupcakes to leah[at]agirlandaboy[dot]com