Picking Up Trash
Recent comments left on this blog have prompted me to address the issue of what is and isn't inappropriate in the magical land of Leah.
Let me start by saying that something about me--not sure what it is--tends to give strangers the impression that I am a sweet and demure and innocent little muffin of a girl. A delicate flower. A lamb. A little speckeld fawn. Truth is, as soon as I open my big mouth people are usually swiftly and harshly disabused of their misconceptions and, if they don't immediately understand the game I talk, they at least understand that I can serve it up, dish it out, and eat it with the best of the boys. Yep, I'm a naughty one.
Here on the blog I am fairly controlled and conservative, but in real life, well, I swear like a sailor and say filthy filthy filthy things every single day. Yesterday alone I emailed my dad a joke about a vagina, made Teddy and his brother watch a movie showing naked ballerinas, talked incessantly about my panties to (1) a male friend, (2) a male housemate, and (3) a male coworker, and discussed boobs and adult diapers and homemade erotica movies and butt sex and how big is too big. So while my life is cookies and lollipops and kitten heels and swingsets, it is also smut and debauchery and things you don't tell mama about.
This is not to say that I lack tact or a healthy sense of social propriety. My goal is not to be patently offensive or aggressive or "brutally honest" (I hate the term) with people I don't know. I am not a bully; I have nothing to prove. I think that's why the filth doesn't show up on the blog. This side of me is maybe the one thing I don't feel like being a public showoff about. (Same difference between a real slut and a one-man slut. Be dirty all you want, but keep it close to home, I say.) What I am is forward and open. I have a good appetite for fun and a knack for titillating banter, and yes, when the circumstances are right, I do love to say the very thing no one expects from such a little sweetie. But only when I'm not going to mortally wound someone's tender sensibilities. I know some of you are out there reading this right now.
So I guess the point of this post is to explain a little more about who I am and what makes me tick, as well as to say that what goes on in my comments is well within my boundaries and that you honest-to-goodness delicate flowers out there will just have to close your eyes because I'm not about to delete the dirt.
That being said, please understand that Will and Jeannie and I are good pals with great respect for and understanding of each other and that's why we can bang the living shit out of each other, verbally and otherwise (but not really, Nora, I swear!). So please don't take this is an open invitation for you, Random Internet Stranger, to let it all hang out and release your demons in this forum. I'll censor the juice right out of you until you are nothing but a dry sac of a human being.
Thus spoke Princess Pottymouth.
Is the word "cunt" allowed? That is often the limit for some folks. Just curious.
Please submit in writing all requests to use the C-word, attn: Management.
What about douchebag? As in she stored her douche in the douchebag.
Look what the Will dragged in:
mustn't ever delete the dirt.
eh, say whatcha want:)
I've waited for this post for oh so long... I'm feeling liberated. Now, the only question is, "When will E! lower the boom?"
this all makes me like you more.
ooo ooo ooo! just saw this and thought of you:
http://www.vaginalady.com/vaginas.html
Dirty blogging is so five years ago. ;-)