An Entry in which My Ass Features a Bit Too Prominently
After updating my movie list in yonder sidebar to include everything I've seen so far this calendar year, I have come to a deeper understanding of myself and my complex psyche. The things that stuck out most during that moment of brave introspection were these:
1. I am weird.
2. I spend a lot more time sitting on my ass than the average person. (Have fun with this ambiguous elliptical clause, fellow grammar nerds!)
Thirteen movies in twenty-seven days (twenty-eight counting today, unless I can squeeze one in before or after tonight's concert) equals a whole hell of a lot of movies and a whole hell of a lot of sloth.
The good thing is at least I'm not watching all of these movies alone in my dark, cold apartment while eating cheap tv dinners and cursing cruel fate. No, I've actually seen a lot of them in my nicely lit, warmish apartment while eating entire Trader Joe's pizzas and cursing cruel fate. And I've been out with friends a lot too (hooray for midnight mimosas).
Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with watching movies or even watching a lot of movies or even watching a lot of mediocre to bad movies. What I'm saying is that my ass and my couch are starting to talk about a June wedding, and I'll be damned if have to attend the nuptials of one of my own body parts to a piece of used furniture before I even have a real boyfriend.
I need to alter my viewing habits. I figure if I jump up and down while watching movies (or march in place if I get too tired), that will help combat the ass-spread problem. Trouble is, I don't think it will help diminish the weirdness problem. Especially if I do it in the theater.
What I need to do is get an iPod. Yeah, that's the ticket. And iPod, in all of its sleek portability, will guilt me into going to the gym more regularly (read: at all), and in going to the gym, my ample ass will have ample opportunity to meet someone new and forget about that old homebody, the couch.
On the agenda for this weekend:
1. Get me an iPod.
2. Get me a new pair of headphones because earbuds are not unlike bamboo shoots under fingernails, and besides, a trusted source has informed me that when one iPodder spots another person with those telltale white earphone cords, both are contractually obligated to perform a cult ritual that involves sticking tongues in mouths, and I'm just not cool with that. Yet.
Heh. I swear, reading your blog is like reading my own thoughts, only you're much more articulate than my jumbled thoughts. :) I keep not working out because I can't run with no music, and my CD player skips too much...etc. And I hate those earbuds too. The worst is when people SHARE them--they've been INSIDE EARS...
You've shamed me into taking my iPod mini and my very ample - much more ample than yours - ass to the gym.
I've been told that your body adjusts to what it is most used for. So, if you're butt is used for sitting then it will become more padded. Lies - all lies! I lay on my side on the couch and somehow my butt doesn't get ANY smaller!
Just found your site, and I love it. Speaking of ass-spreadage...I think mine's getting bigger with this awful desk job I have. Of all those movies you've seen did you watch "Sideways"?
Earbuds were the only bad thing about my own iPod purchase. They hurt! And I prefer to be a bit more inconspicuous. Meet the love of my ears' life: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000095SB6/002-1176449-6516817?v=glance
Not too 'spensive, nice and comfy in ears of many sizes, and sound good enough for me. And they don't slip out at the gym, which the Earbuds did constantly.
Happy shopping!
I was very against the earbuds until I got used to them. I like the fact that they can fit in my pockets, plus I don't like the feeling of having something on top of my head.
Milly--I have seen "Sideways" and I absolutely loved it. I only wish I'd had some wine with me in the theater, and I don't even like wine. To tell the truth, though, being a total snob about things I adore, it bothers me that everyone's all "Oh, 'Sideways' is soooo good, I love it, Paul G is a genius, I can't believe he got snubbed by the Academy, blah blah blah." I like to keep the best things for myself and not share them with the masses. I'm mean that way.
Erin--It looks like those are still things that go INSIDE the ear. I can't deal with that. I'm thinking my new 'phones will have to have a headstrap of some sort, but be at least a little less earmuffy than my current pair, which are seriously bigger than a breadbox. Not exactly pocket-sized, and I get mistaken for a d.j. all the freaking time. No, I will not spin some phat beats, so stop asking already!
All that talk about asses and tongues in mouths, and people are replying earnestly about earbuds. I'm shocked.
Confidential to Leah: I told you that if you brought up that one topic (you know, that ONE TOPIC), people would post comments about it - you'd have more comments than you could handle. Above is evidence that I may have been wrong, but I still encourage you to try.
i am SO glad that someone else hates those stupid earbuds. i tried them for a day and almost suffered a brain hemorrage from the pain. or something like that.
iPine for an iPod. Have to agree with the earbuds, which can do nothing but collect ear wax and give you an ache. I don't think wearing them requires the swapping of spit with other iFreaks, though.
I had a pair of nice Sony headphones that were comfortable (and not inside the ear) until the foam padding disintegrated. I'm surprised that Apple hasn't come out with an alternative, because that's what it does best. Mac lovers unite!
The only thing that feels good in my ear is a Q-Tip, and well, maybe a soft, breathy kiss once in a while.