How Much Etiquette Is Adequate?
What is it with the parties already? It seems like all I do anymore is go from one party to the next. I haven't even posted words and pictures from last weekend's three parties in two days (not counting the one I missed because I was stuck in traffic), and already I'm breathing down the throat of another.
This time I mention the party not because I want to brag about how popular I've become since the dawn of my new sassy singlehood (yeah, as if!), but to ask for some advice from all of you sage party-going folk out there in Internetland. Here's the deal:
Brian is moving away for med school tomorrow. Even though I spent three straight days with him back in March, two nights in his tent in June (by myself, mind you), and made his thirtieth birthday party an excuse to sleep over at a party for the first time since I became acquainted with alcohol, I don't really know Brian all that well. Nevertheless, last weekend I talked to--no, talked at--him for twenty minutes straight without taking a breath, and he didn't so much as complain when both of his ears shriveled up, fell off, and crawled across the carpet to get away from all the talking already. That was nice of him, wasn't it?
So in honor of his kindness beyond the call of duty, this morning I sent Brian a short and sweet email wishing him goodbye and good luck as he goes off to become a hip doctor with a snarky attitude, just like the guys on Scrubs only with less static from my bad NBC reception. What I got back from Brian was an invitation to his going-away party tonight. Yes, tonight. He apologized for its being last-minute but said he'd "love it if [I] could come." Hmmm. What's a girl to do?
My first reaction is to respond, "Sure! I'll be there! I wouldn't miss it!" God knows I'm not busy with anything else, unless you count covering my entire couch with Sticky Paws. But then that little demoness--a certain Princess Emily Post from the Kingdom of Silly Social Graces--pops up her horn-ed head and starts whispering to me about all the things that stand between just doing what I want and doing what I should do if I want to earn my merit badge in etiquette.
She says things like:
"He said you weren't invited earlier because he didn't know how to contact you, but you know very well he could have gotten your email address from any number of people, including the two he lives with"
and
"If you weren't on the original evite, people will think you just found out about the party and decided to crash it"
and
"This is a group that hardly ever has a normal party requiring normal attire. If it's not cocktail chic, it's something that will require grass skirts or sombreros. Who can you ask about the dress code without sounding like a neurotic freak?"
As I've said a hundred times before, this group of friends is the most kind and welcoming bunch I've ever met. I should not be feeling any anxiety about whether or not to attend this party. The catch is that I don't want to abuse or take advantage of their kindness by becoming That Annoying Girl Who Has Wormed Her Way into Our Group Permanently Even Though We Just Invited Her to a Few Things to Be Nice because She Just Got Dumped and Doesn't Have Any Friends. I don't want to be the object of their scorn any more than I want to be the object of their pity. Hence all the second-guessing.
I know it takes time to become friends with people, but I'm just so impatient. How long before I lose the worry and start to feel part of the circle? (Please don't say after the jumping-in ceremony during which the girls beat me up and then tattoo a single black tear on my cheek.)
It would be "cool" not to go to the party. It would prove that I do have more going on in my life than meets the eye. But then again, the guest of honor did invite me himself, when he very well could have kept quiet about the whole thing...
Decisions, decisions.
So what should I do? Shall I accept with pleasure or decline with regret?
(And does anyone know what length of gloves should be worn when taking a large metal pipe to the head of one Princess Emily Post from the Kingdom of Silly Social Graces? I'm thinking opera-length.)
Meh. Go if you feel like it, you don't have to stay for a real long time if your feelings change once you get there. And if you don't feel like going, don't. Easy. :) ;)
oh, go ahead! It's Friday night, you never know when and where you'll meet your next group of buddies. And if it's boring, then bail. If he sent you an invite, and said "I'd love for you to be there" (sic) then for heaven's sake, just do it. Don't worry about party crashing, or what other people might think about your presence. Go, live your life, and have a wonderful time.
YOU are a super star!
P.S. I believe that leather gauntlets are the most effective in beating PEP. They don't leave a mark... on you.
Aw go on - you should just go and have a good time. Beats sitting at home with the cats. You can sleep in tomorrow!
He's a guy, I don't think guys worry about inviting people in advance, that's a girl thing. As for hunting down your email address - hah! again, he's a guy. They don't tend to do stuff like that. So go if you want to!
I agree with Trish. Guys haven't the foggiest who E. POst is, and besides, why not. You can mingle and meet interesting people.
As for what to wear, it is always better to be well dresses at a toga party than to wear a toga at a cocktail party. You'll be fine.
Go have fun.