Whether 'Tis Nobler in the Mind to Suffer...
I'm sitting here at work at 5:30 p.m. looking at my gym bag slouching on the floor by my desk. Do I go? Do I not go? I haven't been to the gym in at least three months. (I know this because it was before I got my hair cut, since soon after said haircut, I wondered how in the world I was going to keep my golden locks out of my eyes when I refuse to wear a ponytail that doesn't spring from my crown with a jaunty curl at the end and bounce flirtatiously unbeknownst to its demure owner; no, right now I'm stuck with a sucker that sticks straight out from the back of my head like the bristly tail of an albino swine. Damn you, corporate hair!)
So yeah. Three months is a long time to have not gone to the gym. I know, I know, it's nothing compared to the twenty-three years I didn't go to the gym, but this is different. Because I say so.
We all play games with ourselves about going to the gym, don't we? I can't go because I won't be able to go the rest of the week, and what good will one solitary session do? I can't go because I wore ratty panties today and I don't want my locker room buddies to see them. I can't go because I don't want to have to take a shower and have my hair be all waxy from overconditioning tomorrow morning. I can't go because I'm a lazy bastard and the thought of moving--quickly--for an extended period of time--in spandex--makes me want to donate my limbs to science posthaste.
Today my excuse is that I'm hungry. Headache hungry. Dizzy and delerious hungry. Sure, I could have some fruit or a cup of something masquerading as fruit, but all I can think about right now is a big juicy hamburger and fries and donuts and Oreos and then a bowl of cereal because cereal just tastes so mmm mmm good in the evening. If I were to skip the gym for anything, eating crap like this is probably the last thing I should spend the evening doing, but since when do rational thoughts carry any weight in rationalizations?
Do I go? Do I not go? If I go on an empty stomach I might pass out like D.J. on Full House, when she went on a crash diet and exercised way too hard after skipping lunch. (And as much as I want to be like D.J. on Full House, that was not one of her finer moments.)
To go, or not to go.
It's late now and all the afterwork workoutters will have swarmed the place and taken over my precious elliptical trainers.
By the time I get done with my session, the fog will have blown in again and I'll have to walk home in the freezing cold (Dear August, Why have I worn a coat and turned on the space heater in my apartment and at work in these, the proverbial dog days of summer? Why the cold shoulder, the icy stares? Have I done something to offend you?).
I can't go to the gym because I need to take out the recycling. Because I need to entertain Eve. Because I worked hard today, dammit, and I deserve to veg out on the couch, even though that's what I did yesterday (after another hard day at work, mind you).
I can't go to the gym because I don't have an engagement ring to keep the gym rats off my case.
I can't go because I'll look fat in my gym pants and I need to work out in private long enough to be seen in them again.
For being what I consider to be a pretty smart cookie most of the time, I sure am a silly silly girl sometimes.
And just to prove it, I'm not going.
Tomorrow, though, for sure. Maybe.
DO IT, DO IT! Actually getting yourself up to do it is the hardest part, I know, I'm in the process of getting upstairs to the treadmill myself :) but it feels so much better after you actually DO it....so go team go!
Yeah....getting there is 90% of the battle. Whatever you do...don't go hungry though. I went hungry once and then had a very unfortunate thing happen at the Finagle Bagel aftewards. I passed out and when I came too I was lying in a puddle of soda that I dropped when I fell. The paramedics came....quite a scent it was. Humiliating!
i'd give you a kick up the bum, but i'm too comfy on the couch... :)
You can do it! Don't make me run over there and beat your butt into submission! ;)
was that the one where danny and deej had a heart to heart in the kitchen right after she started eating her homemade water popsicles?
excellent comparison. i wouldn't want you to pass out like d.j. either! veg veg veg!
When I moved to Maui this past May, I was out of shape. After a few walks on the beach near my house I realized that while ROUND is a shape, it isn't an attractive shape.
My gf and I have been running for the last month or so and I've lost about 15 lbs. The hardest part was finding the motivation to get started. Now I have a set schedule that I follow without even trying. Getting to the point where your workout is part of your daily routine is obviously where most people fail in their pursuit to exercise.
Um. Yes. Hello, I had that exact same discussion with myself yesterday.
Do you ever use the excuse that you didn't bring the right socks? That you can't work out in your maroon argyles so you can't work out at all?
I love that excuse.